Young adults who identify as asexual feel excluded from the wider LGBTQ community

What do you mean my decision not to have a partner?
I want a partner, I’m looking for one.
Asexuality has nothing to do with not wanting a partner, that’s more of an aromantic area.

You didn’t answer any of my questions, why would I (or anyone), going by your rules, care about anyone else either?

I don’t have issues, thank you very little, I’m jut being realistic.

That article is like a Monty Python sketch. Being asexual isn’t a sexuality and if you have no sex drive you need to see your GP unless you are a new mum in which case just focus on getting some sleep!!

@IwantToRetire :"I suspect how women experience same sex attraction, and how men experience same sex attraction is very different, as is their way of celebrating / expressing it."
Absolutely Lesbians and Gay men have very different cultures. Saunas; places for no- strings sex, popular among gay men, do not exist for Lesbians!
We have the coffee date, which is basically a first date where you interview each other as a possible partner/spouse. Lesbians are monogamous homebodies who do relationships just like straight women.

I find the whole community toxic - its far from welcoming for many women. I just feel like it's easier to hide my sexuality now because I don't feel like I belong anywhere. It certainly doesn't feel like a 'safe space' for me.

That's very likely. What a toxic mess...

When I did a population dynamics module years ago at university, there was this effect where populations got so out of control it affected the behaviour of that stressed population so it certain examples fecundity (reproductive production) went down. Maybe the asexual stuff is a twisted version of this?
What was interesting is Disney and lemmings. There’s a folklore that lemmings reach such high numbers that they somehow knowingly kill themselves by jumping off cliffs. There’s a Disney film from the 1950s that reinforces this and it was totally manufactured - the production crew were responsible for importing them and pushing them off. Another interesting parallel with media creating a false poor mental health narrative.

Yes. And it’s also about groups like Mermaids finding out what they’ve done to kids and having to justify it.

Just coming back to this thread after reading something in Time to Think. ' Questioned how it was possible to have an age appropriate discussion about the loss of orgasm with a young person who has never had one, the Tavistock's QC remarked that 'many adults are happily asexual ''.

I don't think this push to recognize asexuality is about average people with a low libido wanting an identity. It's about young people who have suffered the consequences of treatments coming to terms with the fact that they have lost an essential part of themselves trying to justify this as an 'identity' and finding out that no one cares.

I wonder, are there some people who really think everyone who is gay and lesbian "identifies" with the LGBTPQ+ community and feels welcomed there?

Someone like Douglas Murray, say? Whose made it pretty clear that he doesn't have much in common with other gay men, as a whole, apart from fancying other men.

There are lots of people like this who don't find they need to find their sense of community mainly with other people who have the same sexual orientation they do. They aren't into drag, they don't vote to the left, they don't like Pride parades, they think rainbow flags are tacky, they're generally conservative about sex, etc.

Funnily enough I just read Alf Up A Tree’s old Substack post on how his 2 years identifying as ‘asexual’ were ultimately quite a damaging cul de sac to teenage Alf:

https://thoughtsoutsidemyhead.substack.com/p/the-thoughts-outside-my-head-ep1

Goddess forbid you're like everyone else. It's nice to be normal!
I'm happy not to be oppressed as a Lesbian.
My life is so much better

I was under the impression from what's been said here that asexuals can and do take part in all of the above so why would there be a problem when others talk about it?

The logical contradictions are such a tell on how asexual discourse has been influenced by Queer Theory nonsense. Also the refusal to engage in discussion, reciting talking points instead of responding to points people have made, and constant declarations of victimhood. (And the need to have it celebrated in workplaces and included under the sodding “umbrella!”)

It’s a shame, because if it wasn’t poisoned with so much bullshit the asexual concept would conceivably be useful, even if only to teens and young adults in a hypersexual culture wanting reassurance they are normal. The problem is that the way it’s currently deployed it’s more like reassurance they aren’t normal.

...maybe I’ll do that the next time someone tells me their going on a date/ hook-up / getting married / having a baby.

I was under the impression from what's been said here that asexuals can and do take part in all of the above so why would there be a problem when others talk about it?

3- start accusing ordinary non-sparkly lesbians and gay men ‘homonormative’ and force them out of the expanded community.

I'd imagine you're just an ordinary Joe with a low libido. Definitely not a member of the "most oppressed" gang. Some people can't just bear the word ordinary.

1. Try to resist heteronormativity.
2. Group every feeling or behaviour that could conceivably be seen as outside traditional heterosexuality into a single list and call it a community.

I still don’t understand how you can want to have sex sometimes when you are asexual?

Why would you want that then? It renders you sexual, any orientation, but certainly not «a-«

some people might be asexual
they might still enjoy romantic relationships
they might want to talk about it with others, because humans tend to want to talk about things like love/relationships/what goes on in their lives
that being part of a community might mean that someone who doesn't quite understand how they fit it in a world where most people are expected to have sex might be reassured to hear that there are other people like them after all, that they should worry about being ''weird'' or that they should not force themselves to have sex if it is simply not for them.

And no one has been remotely upset or unaccepting of any of the above. No one has been being nasty about asexual people or saying they don't exist, or anything like that at all. Have they? If you think they have, could you quote?

"triggered" oh FGS.

Is that what you call it when people disagree or have questions? To avoid being told we're being "triggered", we have to just accept any old illogical nonsense and "be kind" and shut up, is that it?

People are allowed to point out things that don't make sense or are coming across as attention-seeking. Others are free to argue back/explain/point out why they think it does make sense. Why don't you do that instead of going on the attack? It makes it seem like you don't really know why you think what you think, you just know you're supposed to think it to be a good person. If that's not the case, and you have thought it through, then you can make a clear case for it - right? No attacks needed.

Nobody is "triggered" at all, stop that 😂
We're just baffled at being expected to find it interesting,

Some of this thread truly is truly batshit.

I have absolutely no idea as to why anyone would be so triggered by the idea that:

• some people might be asexual
• they might still enjoy romantic relationships
• they might want to talk about it with others, because humans tend to want to talk about things like love/relationships/what goes on in their lives
• that being part of a community might mean that someone who doesn't quite understand how they fit it in a world where most people are expected to have sex might be reassured to hear that there are other people like them after all, that they should worry about being ''weird'' or that they should not force themselves to have sex if it is simply not for them.

To me that anyone would have an issue with the above is beyond odd.

Somehow it has been bizarrely twisted into something that involves views on trans rights and being lectured by people who are very likely to be straight on what my identity is (as someone who is not hetero) is and how I should describe/view/experience my own community.

Mind-blowing.

People are not oppressed on the grounds that they are asexual. They just aren't. It's a personality type. People might roll their eyes at the self indulgence and narcissism . That's not oppression.

That was @YouAreNotBatman