Should IVF be available to lesbians?

Someone upthread was speaking about how women can be coerced into donating eggs in the UK by having the cost of their treatment reduced.

Do you know for sure that all the eggs and sperm you can access from clinics in the UK was freely and altruistically donated and the person donating it has no expectations or regrets?

Do you care?

I find this a strange reply. I'm a lesbian woman and I don't know that I agree that being unable to have your own biological child is deeply upsetting, or an ongoing grief. I have a daughter who is not biologically mine, and she is an enormous source of joy. I'm not sure lesbians discussing access to fertility treatment are as hung up on biology as you might think?

Do you know something we don't about fertility clinics in the UK? Or is your comment about clinics outside the UK?

@Eyerollcentral

Agreed, but do I not deserve a baby as much as the next person deserves a gastric band??

Honest question.

I think these stories help explain my discomfort with donor assisted conception and why any trade of eggs/sperm is fraught with the risk of exploitation, and problems for the child down the track.

Being able to buy nice clean anonymous eggs/sperm from a fertility clinic is no guarantee they weren't sourced through coercion or exploitation. It just allows the recipient to distance themselves from it so they can focus on their own needs and wants without guilt.

As a lesbian woman currently exploring my options some of these comments are extremely upsetting

Being unable to have your own biological child is deeply upsetting and an ongoing grief. But that doesn’t mean everything is acceptable in order to to have one.

@Eyerollcentral

Agreed, but do I not deserve a baby as much as the next person deserves a gastric band??

Honest question.

Shelefttheweb
many of these donors are selling their sperm on the internet and coercing women into sleeping with them when they meet even though they originally offer to donate into a cup. Are these men supposed to have parental responsibility? I’m actually saying private donations shouldn’t happen for these reasons, no idea what’s going to pop out of the woods in future years.

I think these stories help explain my discomfort with donor assisted conception and why any trade of eggs/sperm is fraught with the risk of exploitation, and problems for the child down the track.

Being able to buy nice clean anonymous eggs/sperm from a fertility clinic is no guarantee they weren't sourced through coercion or exploitation. It just allows the recipient to distance themselves from it so they can focus on their own needs and wants without guilt.

As a lesbian woman currently exploring my options some of these comments are extremely upsetting and ignorant. Obviously I can’t expect everyone to know the legalities behind private sperm donation and how wrong it can all go, particularly for unmarried same couples but it’s far from as straight forward as “use a Turkey baster, use a private donor” woman I know have exposed themselves to HIV (amongst other STIs) , dangerous situations/rape and then for the “donor” to demand parental rights which they are entitled to if the lesbian couple are unmarried. These are real cases and happen so often. No, nobody has a right to a baby and maybe it shouldn’t be NHS funded but maybe take a moment to realise that it’s such a gruelling and painful process as it is.

I just can't with this thread. Basically, you can abuse your body, your partner's body, but if you are genetically a woman ina heterosexual relationship you are allowed to bear as many kids as you want, even if the parenting is I'll-thought out (just fucking read the relationships board), no matter, because: Darwinism.

Fuck me, I'm a feminist, and if needs be I will pay for my own iVf, but Jesus, "womb trumps all" isn't a great approach.

I say that as a proud supporter of j.k.Rowling etc. but some of the frivolous "relationships" parenthoods entered into nowadays, and I'm out of line for mentioning type 2 diabetes??? Really??

then for the “donor” to demand parental rights which they are entitled to if the lesbian couple are unmarried.

The “donor” is the child’s father. There should not be any right to deny the child their father and genetic heritage.

I'm quoting you again because I have thought about it further.

Saying lesbians have the same right to assisted conception as heterosexual women is equality. Lesbians didn't campaign to be equal to gay men. Gay men didn't campaign to be equal to lesbians. They campaigned for the same rights as heterosexuals.

So the consistency is not in equality between lesbians and gay men. It's in gay men having the same rights as heterosexual men in a relationship, to use a surrogate to get a baby.

As a lesbian woman currently exploring my options some of these comments are extremely upsetting and ignorant. Obviously I can’t expect everyone to know the legalities behind private sperm donation and how wrong it can all go, particularly for unmarried same couples but it’s far from as straight forward as “use a Turkey baster, use a private donor” woman I know have exposed themselves to HIV (amongst other STIs) , dangerous situations/rape and then for the “donor” to demand parental rights which they are entitled to if the lesbian couple are unmarried. These are real cases and happen so often. No, nobody has a right to a baby and maybe it shouldn’t be NHS funded but maybe take a moment to realise that it’s such a gruelling and painful process as it is.