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Surrogacy deal is overturned in first UK case of its kind

60 replies

Helleofabore · 28/02/2023 11:23

I caught this recently and thought it was an interesting article to post here in relation to surrogacy and how even altruistic arrangements go badly badly wrong. Particularly in light of how in a New York election, 'fertility equality' was being platformed.

digitaleditions.telegraph.co.uk/data/1258/reader/reader.html?#!preferred/0/package/1258/pub/1258/page/36/article/NaN

If you post this link into archive ph it will take you to it.

However, I have included an image too.

"A SURROGACY arrangement has been overturned more than two years after the baby was born in what is thought to be the first UK court ruling of its kind."

"The baby boy was born in September 2020 and taken into the care of the intended parents, a married couple."

"The surrogate mother, who is British and who knew the couple well, agreed to carry out the procedure using her own egg on the understanding that she would have regular contact with the child."

and

"But the arrangement collapsed when the intended parents broke their promise of letting the surrogate mother have contact with the baby as they did not want her involved in the child’s life."

There are a few issues that are highlighted here. Not just how women are exploited for their body's capabilities, but also the issue of 'consent'. This woman only agreed to do this for the couple under one condition. After this couple got their baby, which was this woman's own egg as well so she is the biological mother of this child, they decided that her consent could be ignored now that the 'deed was done'.

If this couple were not prepared to deal with whatever happened to the relationship with this woman to enable them to fulfil their obligations as agreed, they should never have entered this agreement at all.

The other issue that I thought is interesting is this:

"The ruling comes as surrogacy laws in the UK are set to change, and Ms Bazley said the case could influence the reforms. The Law Commission is due to publish a draft Bill within months."

Something to watch out for.

Surrogacy deal is overturned in first UK case of its kind
OP posts:
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Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 05/04/2023 23:26

😈 sperm not spermicide ( I think that may have been a Freudian autocorrect.)

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 05/04/2023 23:25

The mother of the female identifying boy whose spermicide was frozen, and who now is demanding to use it to fertilise a donor egg, implant it in some woman’s womb , so that her dead son can realise his wish to be ‘a mother’.

‘I've tried to work out why she died. I can't believe it was anything caused by the hormone blockers as she had been on them for two years without problems.'

Unfortunately this just sums up the resolute denial of logic and reality in the biology benders.

TheBiologyStupid · 05/04/2023 22:58

How the fuck is the grandbaby going to be registered? No ‘mother’ exists according to the weirdo rules of the pro surrogacy world (and presumably ‘mum’ is two women, an egg donor and a surrogate?) and intended parent is paternal grandma - will dead-dad be recorded as the father and grandma as the mother? Because that will proper fuck with the genealogical Mormon’s heads in a hundred year’s time.

Absolutely - it's a shocking mess all round. Presumably the clinic in the US knew all the facts of the case and went ahead anyway - money trumps ethics every time.

CryptoFascistMadameCholet · 05/04/2023 21:22

How the fuck is the grandbaby going to be registered? No ‘mother’ exists according to the weirdo rules of the pro surrogacy world (and presumably ‘mum’
is two women, an egg donor and a surrogate?) and intended parent is paternal grandma - will dead-dad be recorded as the father and grandma as the mother? Because that will proper fuck with the genealogical Mormon’s heads in a hundred year’s time.

My grandad was a posthumous WW1 baby - it fucked him up a bit, knowing his dad was dead before he was born.
Imagine how fucked up you might be from finding out your biological parent was dead before you were ever conceived and you don’t have a second parent at all? At least
my grandad still had his mum.

And granny is 68 already - by the time this kid is a teen granny will be over 80 (best case scenario) or she’ll be dead and the kid will have neither parents nor granny as a guardian (worst case).

catsfleasandbabies · 05/04/2023 21:00

Goah that is crazy. I had not heard of this before. Children as a type of souvenir.

What's going on with all the Daley posts being deleted or reported and investigated at the moment?

Relatedly, really strange politics around comments in the DM when it comes to surrogacy. 9,000 shares and 0 comments? Or 4 comments all wishing the happy couple a bright future with the baby they removed from its mother. Am I paranoid?

CryptoFascistMadameCholet · 05/04/2023 20:10

I wonder what happened to the case of the mum of the deceased transgirl that was all over the news?

My daughter has a frozen ovary but the NHS service that stored it made it very clear to me that if she didn’t survive her paediatric cancer it would be destroyed - which obvs I am perfectly in agreement with anyway (it’s only there to offer an additional possibility should she want to try it, seeing as she was far too young to know what fertility loss would mean age 6).

ohsuzannah · 01/04/2023 16:59

@CryptoFascistMadameCholet
Brilliant summary!

DysonSpheres · 01/04/2023 16:23

@CryptoFascistMadameCholet I tried to keep it age appropriate but her horror at the thought of being a little girl who discovers that she only exists because her wealthy white western-world parents exploited a non-white woman living in poverty in a developing country, a woman who the little girl has never known anything about and cannot easily find was palpable.

Oh I see what you did there. Very clever! Yes, for some reason the upcoming generation seem to cotton onto something much more if it's outlined through the lens of race. I might try this with my own children, they're pretty much not woke and (mostly) GC already but there are still struggles getting them to see nuances at times. Actually I tend to have the opposite problem, I get 'No one is a victim, you live by your choices rhetoric' which actually is highly problematic in its own way. They miss the influence of unequal power structures. They will argue back at me telling me such and such has to suffer because they knew what they were getting into and had a choice.

It has to be pretty stark inequality for them to get it. So I might take a leaf from you, because I know the second bit won't really wash with them either. They're boys and and I'm trying to make them more aware of these things. It's hard as all the similarity aged girls on their acquaintances are 'be kind', so I sound out of touch a lot by comparison.

OhHolyJesus · 01/04/2023 15:25

It didn't surprise me to learn that the Head of Investigations at the Times has a 'child through surrogacy'. The Times also has their Beauty Editor segue into a weekly column about her 'surrogacy journey' so maybe a year, ahead of publishing a book on the subject.

Not sure about the Guardian but it wouldn't surprise me to learn of similar.

MenopausalMe · 01/04/2023 15:04

The MSM has been really pushing the positives of surrogacy, wonder why exactly

CryptoFascistMadameCholet · 01/04/2023 13:33

I was talking to my DD11 about surrogacy a few days ago. Like most kids her age she and her friends are very keen on fairness and fiercely anti discrimination.
As with most people who haven’t really thought it through her first instinct was that surrogacy was entirely positive and a wonderful gift, especially for gay men.

I tried to keep it age appropriate but her horror at the thought of being a little girl who discovers that she only exists because her wealthy white western-world parents exploited a non-white woman living in poverty in a developing country, a woman who the little girl has never known anything about and cannot easily find was palpable.

That she immediately saw it from the child’s point of view was quite meaningful, I thought.

(I didn’t dare further complicate it by adding in a young college student who damages her own fertility when supplying the egg! Save that for another time!)

DysonSpheres · 01/04/2023 12:50

Honesti was really eye-opening, saddening, shocking, maddening stuff. Brilliant documentaries both.

Shocking the side effects of egg-donation. I did not realise they could be so extreme.

But what really came through for me was the importance and significance of the birth mother bond.

It was uncanny the way some of the children just seemed to know without ever being told who their 'real' mum was. They just figured it out.

The way the women were used like mere shop bought commodities. I agree that all women should watch these.

There are a few more stand-alone interviews of surrogates with the documentary maker. So I may be conflating some experiences. Worth watching everything on that channel.

CryptoFascistMadameCholet · 01/04/2023 12:28

I’m always happy to rustle up links for this topic - The GenderBorg might implode in a puff of self important rage and criminal prosecutions soon but we’ll still have to fight the threat to women and children coming from the surrogacy and gamete exploitation lobby!

The bit in Breeders where the surrogate mother talks about visiting the baby she grew for another couple, now a 5 year old little girl, is utterly heartbreaking.

DysonSpheres · 01/04/2023 12:22

Emotionalsupportviper · 31/03/2023 16:10

Are those documentaries on Netflix, @DysonSpheres ?

Show quote history

Sorry just read this, @Emotionalsupportviper .

Thanks @CryptoFascistMadameCholet for answering

Original poster
Helleofabore · 01/04/2023 09:29

Thanks for those links to those videos.

It is important that women see these.

OP posts:
BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 01/04/2023 08:55

EsmaCannonball · 01/03/2023 11:19

This will just be seen by the rich as another reason to use poor, powerless women as paid surrogates. No chance of those women having any say over the pregnancy, the birth or the baby.

I suspect so. It will be interesting though, because this case illustrates that UK courts are willing to step in but otoh, I know the UK is seen as a desirable choice because a British surrogate will be entitled to free NHS care.

Emotionalsupportviper · 31/03/2023 16:15

Cheers Crypto.

Emotionalsupportviper · 31/03/2023 16:10

DysonSpheres · 02/03/2023 09:31

I hope they find the woman and can give her support, I've just watched the documentary 'Eggploitation' followed by 'Breeders' and I am furious and disgusted that women are being reduced to disposable baby manufacturers. I am beyond angry this morning.

Along with the T hegemony, it feels like at every level of society women are being slowly and inexorably dehumanised.

Show quote history

Are those documentaries on Netflix, @DysonSpheres ?

Emotionalsupportviper · 31/03/2023 16:08

Tauranga · 28/02/2023 17:54

@CryptoFascistMadameCholet I was glad to read your analysis, I was raging when I read the article!

I felt the same as @Tauranga , @CryptoFascistMadameCholet - the self-entitlement of that couple, the twee photo of the two of them with "their" baby at two weeks - what a load of sugar-coated syrupy sh*te!

They are a pair of selfish, dissembling individuals who were happy to circumvent the law when it suited them, and didn't want to comply with the terms of the agreement they made.

I'd love to see "Catherine's" perspective on the whole experience.

ResisterRex · 02/03/2023 11:08

Great posts on here esp that Mail break down. I agree with Red's latest.

I struggle to see how you can give true consent to a process to do with your body over such a long period of time. I don't believe such consent is truly possible, personally.