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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

the Sex topic on MN

140 replies

beastlyslumber · 25/02/2023 09:45

I couldn't see a thread in FWR, though there are plenty in Site Stuff and AIBU. I thought it would be good to hear what women here think, especially about the safeguarding fails. MN hosting discussion of people graphically describing CSA and a 'sex chat' for people to find hook ups. Justine's response was to say that maybe they underestimated the negative impact, but they're going to carry on anyway. Posters who've reported threads and comments have been ignored.

I don't see how MN can keep going as a parenting site if it is failing on very basic safeguarding. Someone on another thread pointed out that sex forums at least have a bare minimum of safeguards, such as age verification, a list of banned topics, and active moderation (rather than the after-the-fact reports and deletions MN usually do.)

There are also concerns that it changes the nature of the people coming to post on MN and generally makes women less able to access the help and advice they need. I've noticed for a while that there's more victim blaming and misogyny in the relationships topic - apparently MN changed the posting rules last year so that new users only have to wait 7 days to post in the sex topic, where it was previously 90. So it's possible that the change there is related to that.

Sorry for the long OP! Just really wondering what women here think.

OP posts:
beastlyslumber · 15/03/2023 14:35

Why, would you punch me? Funny how you people tell on yourself.

OP posts:
ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 15/03/2023 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Cute. that's how you interpreted what I wrote. Not what I "sounded" like.

Mind you wouldn't speak to me like that in real life. 😆 that's FOR SURE.

PEACE OUT 😘

BatFaceOwl · 15/03/2023 14:25

Ahh @beastlyslumber good on you for keeping on with this. I literally had to stop as the cheery chirpy man pleaser and her mate just dominated everything, gushing (probs quite literally) about just how super the sex board is and how very welcoming it is. Ugh

beastlyslumber · 15/03/2023 14:22

And lots of people have left the site over it.

OP posts:
beastlyslumber · 15/03/2023 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 15/03/2023 14:14

beastlyslumber · 15/03/2023 14:10

Sorry but I'm not going to trawl back through the numerous threads and discussions for you. Many of them in site stuff trying to persuade MN they were breaking the law by hosting graphic CSA chat. Feel free to have a look about in the threads of past few weeks but I'm not going to do it for you.

Chill out. Not once have I asked you to look through and present the threads to me. I have no interest in reading them. I am shocked if what you are saying is true. More so that mumsnet is allowing it than anything else. If I came across it it would make me probably reconsider using this website I haven't seen anything like that hence me being here and still using it.

beastlyslumber · 15/03/2023 14:10

ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 15/03/2023 14:02

Haven't seen any.

I cannot imagine pedophiles openly discussing csa on mumsnet .... dont they use the dark Web for that? If indeed what you are saying is true yes this is a huge safeguarding fail - shouldn't this info be with the police to investigate ?

Sorry but I'm not going to trawl back through the numerous threads and discussions for you. Many of them in site stuff trying to persuade MN they were breaking the law by hosting graphic CSA chat. Feel free to have a look about in the threads of past few weeks but I'm not going to do it for you.

OP posts:
Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 15/03/2023 14:02

Don’t bang the door on your way out.

ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 15/03/2023 14:02

beastlyslumber · 15/03/2023 13:56

You don't see the sex topic in active because we campaigned to get it out.

CSA being discussed in graphic detail in the sex topic.

There have been countless threads about this all over MN for weeks now.

Haven't seen any.

I cannot imagine pedophiles openly discussing csa on mumsnet .... dont they use the dark Web for that? If indeed what you are saying is true yes this is a huge safeguarding fail - shouldn't this info be with the police to investigate ?

Mermaidparades · 15/03/2023 13:58

I resent that accusation. I don’t want to force my opinion on anyone either, but I thought it was fine to present a differing view. I will go though, I don’t wish to be accused of purposely derailing.

beastlyslumber · 15/03/2023 13:56

ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 15/03/2023 13:53

????? Eh???? Child sexual abuse?..... I never see the sex topic in active I don't know what u mean but as a woman having a sex topic doesn't bother me.

What do u mean about csa coming up in sex topic? Like adults discussing trauma from childhood? Or peados ??? I have an issue with the latter obviously but not the former.

You don't see the sex topic in active because we campaigned to get it out.

CSA being discussed in graphic detail in the sex topic.

There have been countless threads about this all over MN for weeks now.

OP posts:
beastlyslumber · 15/03/2023 13:54

Derailing yet another thread of women talking about safeguarding, maybe?

OP posts:
ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 15/03/2023 13:53

beastlyslumber · 25/02/2023 09:45

I couldn't see a thread in FWR, though there are plenty in Site Stuff and AIBU. I thought it would be good to hear what women here think, especially about the safeguarding fails. MN hosting discussion of people graphically describing CSA and a 'sex chat' for people to find hook ups. Justine's response was to say that maybe they underestimated the negative impact, but they're going to carry on anyway. Posters who've reported threads and comments have been ignored.

I don't see how MN can keep going as a parenting site if it is failing on very basic safeguarding. Someone on another thread pointed out that sex forums at least have a bare minimum of safeguards, such as age verification, a list of banned topics, and active moderation (rather than the after-the-fact reports and deletions MN usually do.)

There are also concerns that it changes the nature of the people coming to post on MN and generally makes women less able to access the help and advice they need. I've noticed for a while that there's more victim blaming and misogyny in the relationships topic - apparently MN changed the posting rules last year so that new users only have to wait 7 days to post in the sex topic, where it was previously 90. So it's possible that the change there is related to that.

Sorry for the long OP! Just really wondering what women here think.

????? Eh???? Child sexual abuse?..... I never see the sex topic in active I don't know what u mean but as a woman having a sex topic doesn't bother me.

What do u mean about csa coming up in sex topic? Like adults discussing trauma from childhood? Or peados ??? I have an issue with the latter obviously but not the former.

Mermaidparades · 15/03/2023 13:52

What other reason would I have?

Thelnebriati · 15/03/2023 13:43

I just wanted to share my experience so individuals could make a a balanced opinion.

LOL! Sure mate.

beastlyslumber · 15/03/2023 13:38

Why do you need to persuade people who aren't interested to go over there? God I'm so sick of how pushy and demanding you and your sex chat friends are. Just keep it to yourselves.

OP posts:
Mermaidparades · 15/03/2023 13:29

I know where I am thank you! Some people had said that they wouldn’t consider going to the Sex Forum and explained their reasons, I just wanted to share my experience so individuals could make a a balanced opinion.

beastlyslumber · 15/03/2023 13:24

This is the women's rights board. You're welcome here if you want to talk about defending women and childrens rights. Doubt anyone here wants to hear about your titillating experiences of sex chat.

OP posts:
Mermaidparades · 15/03/2023 13:21

Such a warm welcome!

beastlyslumber · 15/03/2023 13:17

Oh great, you're here... can't post anywhere about the sex topic without the same posters turning up to say how great it is.

I'm just concerned about safeguarding. I think it's weird that people want to do sex chat on a parenting website but as long as you're not making others vulnerable, I don't care what you do.

OP posts:
Mermaidparades · 15/03/2023 13:11

I have found the Sex Board to be welcoming and inclusive, light hearted when appropriate but also supportive to posters who have been going through tough personal situations (E. g a sexless marriage). Trolls tend to be spotted quickly and reported.

knittingaddict · 15/03/2023 12:55

I've always avoided the sex forum because amongst the genuine people needing help you are inevitably going to get a lot of dross.

To be honest the only thing that is keeping me here is this forum. I don't really use social media and I find mn invaluable as a source to keep me connected with what is happening.

I almost had a post and be damned moment on the numerous Claire threads. For a fleeting second I thought a post to say shat I really thought and a subsequent troll hunting ban would suit me nicely. I pulled back from burning my boats but it was a close thing.

Like other people I've noticed more blatant misogyny on the forums. More and more find myself thinking "what has the op done to deserve that?"

RufustheSpeculatingreindeer · 15/03/2023 12:35

Im just throwing out…..

RufustheSpeculatingreindeer · 15/03/2023 12:35

I don’t know plait i dont have a plan 🙂

just think its good to have a place where women can talk about sexual health….dont know if it would get lost a bit in general

dunno…just throwing out vague unsubstantiated ideas, as usual

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 15/03/2023 12:17

RufustheSpeculatingreindeer · 15/03/2023 11:08

Someone suggested a women's sexual health topic

yeah…thats what i was thinking, but just with a lot less babbling…and words 🤔

Is this needed - could we not use the existing women's health topic?