Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Trans and losing my mind...

953 replies

bluepetergeneration · 18/02/2023 21:07

Posting here in good faith. And I'll leave that at that.

I'm a TS. I was born male. I don't normally post on mumsnet but I started using it as I have a 1 year old DD. I won't tell my whole life story, that would be self indulgent, so I'll just say what I came here to say.

I'm sick to death of my community. I'm sick of the misogyny. I'm under no illusion that I'm a woman or ever will be. I transitioned when I was very young so I pass, but I still now only use female bathrooms when there's no other option (such as a disabled bathroom- I would feel unsafe in the mens). What I have is a disorder- it was crippling- and now I live my life so that I can actually enjoy it and not feel 'wrong'.

The idea of self-ID sickens me, and I'm tired of having to have the same conversations over and over again with other trans people who accuse me of being some kind of self hating transsexual just because I care about the safety of women. I also care about the safety of my kid. Partly because I'm worried she'll be in danger because I'm trans, and also because I don't want her to get caught up in all these weird messages that being trans isn't a disorder around dysphoria (which it is).

I guess I'm posting this to say that in this fight, trans people with genuine dysphoria who aren't delusional will be standing right beside you.

Also a plea to not paint all of us with the same brush. You can fight for the rights of trans people (like me, I should be able to present female and not get attacked, and when I was in my late teens and still looked a bit male I did get attacked) and also be gender critical

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Bathhy · 21/02/2023 12:12

EndlessTea · 21/02/2023 11:45

you won't get support here

Why would a man look for support from women in a feminist forum? 🫤

It makes no sense.

I agree. I don't know why OP posted here.

I use mumsnet because I have a son and raising a child is difficult.

Bathhy · 21/02/2023 12:08

Datun · 21/02/2023 11:45

Did you miss the bit where the OP said they wouldn't be reading any more posts? Including yours, presumably.

What is the point of that post, other than to announce, publicly, that women everyone will have their boundaries violated, whether they like it or not?

Show quote history

Did you miss the bit where the OP said they wouldn't be reading any more posts? Including yours, presumably.

I didn't actually. Thanks for telling me

What is the point of that post, other than to announce, publicly, that women everyone will have their boundaries violated, whether they like it or not?

It's wild to me that's what you took away from my post.

Bathhy · 21/02/2023 12:06

viques · 21/02/2023 11:43

The word trans is not an adjective to describe a woman’s lived life , a woman’s culture or a woman’s experience.

trans is an adjective

GailBlancheViola · 21/02/2023 11:59

Datun · 21/02/2023 11:51

Add to me, at least, it's always so revealing how these posters never actually engage with what we say. There's never any addressing of our arguments. Despite them being oh so supportive of them.

it's always, what! I cant believe you said no!! Didn't you hear all my arguments as to why you need to comply! Right, I'm off. I'll just give a quick hello to everybody else who share my disbelief that you actually said no.

It's the patronising - Oh I hear you, I understand, I really do

followed by the arrogance - but I'm going to carry on doing what I do anyway because my desires trump all your concerns and needs.

DialSquare · 21/02/2023 11:58

As I said earlier, whilst I understand there are many trans people who are not TRAs and do not agree with much of the ideology, if you are a male voluntarily using female single sex spaces then you are not really any different to the TRAs. I do not support any males using female spaces so not sure why PP would expect support here.

Datun · 21/02/2023 11:54

EndlessTea · 21/02/2023 11:50

It’s that entitled assumption ‘I’m sure if they understood my need to violate their boundaries they’ll be cool with it and crack on with giving me support”

IKR 😁

Let me just explain.

This is what I want.

Okay, can we move on now?

(To what I want next, obvs.)

EndlessTea · 21/02/2023 11:52

Datun · 21/02/2023 11:51

Add to me, at least, it's always so revealing how these posters never actually engage with what we say. There's never any addressing of our arguments. Despite them being oh so supportive of them.

it's always, what! I cant believe you said no!! Didn't you hear all my arguments as to why you need to comply! Right, I'm off. I'll just give a quick hello to everybody else who share my disbelief that you actually said no.

Yes. Always the same pattern.

Datun · 21/02/2023 11:51

Add to me, at least, it's always so revealing how these posters never actually engage with what we say. There's never any addressing of our arguments. Despite them being oh so supportive of them.

it's always, what! I cant believe you said no!! Didn't you hear all my arguments as to why you need to comply! Right, I'm off. I'll just give a quick hello to everybody else who share my disbelief that you actually said no.

EndlessTea · 21/02/2023 11:50

It’s that entitled assumption ‘I’m sure if they understood my need to violate their boundaries they’ll be cool with it and crack on with giving me support”

GailBlancheViola · 21/02/2023 11:50

Datun · 21/02/2023 11:46

I'm suspecting neither of those posters can understand why we are malfunctioning like this!

Desperately looking for the reset button....

EndlessTea · 21/02/2023 11:48

Datun · 21/02/2023 11:46

I'm suspecting neither of those posters can understand why we are malfunctioning like this!

🤣

EndlessTea · 21/02/2023 11:47

Datun · 21/02/2023 11:46

Habit?

Show quote history

Yes. I am sure you are right. Fgs

Datun · 21/02/2023 11:46

I'm suspecting neither of those posters can understand why we are malfunctioning like this!

Datun · 21/02/2023 11:46

EndlessTea · 21/02/2023 11:45

you won't get support here

Why would a man look for support from women in a feminist forum? 🫤

It makes no sense.

Habit?

EndlessTea · 21/02/2023 11:45

you won't get support here

Why would a man look for support from women in a feminist forum? 🫤

It makes no sense.

Datun · 21/02/2023 11:45

Bathhy · 21/02/2023 11:27

@bluepetergeneration Hi OP,

I'm also a trans woman in a very similar situation to you, I'm sorry you feel the way you do but you won't get support here - I've sent you a private message if you wish to talk to someone in a similar situation to you and feels similar to you as well.

Take care and be safe

Did you miss the bit where the OP said they wouldn't be reading any more posts? Including yours, presumably.

What is the point of that post, other than to announce, publicly, that women everyone will have their boundaries violated, whether they like it or not?

viques · 21/02/2023 11:43

The word trans is not an adjective to describe a woman’s lived life , a woman’s culture or a woman’s experience.

GailBlancheViola · 21/02/2023 11:40

Transwomen who do not do what you or the OP do is given.

Should say: Transwomen who do not do what you or the OP are given support.

GailBlancheViola · 21/02/2023 11:39

Bathhy · 21/02/2023 11:27

@bluepetergeneration Hi OP,

I'm also a trans woman in a very similar situation to you, I'm sorry you feel the way you do but you won't get support here - I've sent you a private message if you wish to talk to someone in a similar situation to you and feels similar to you as well.

Take care and be safe

Why would support be given to someone who trashes women's boundaries? Who apparently listens to all the reasons why women do not want ANY male in their female only single sex spaces and services and then says they will carry on going in there anyway?

Transwomen who do not do what you or the OP do is given.

Take care and be safe but don't apply that to women, their care and safety comes as a very distant second to yours.

HootyMcboob76 · 21/02/2023 11:32

ArabellaScott · 21/02/2023 11:30

you won't get support here

Unsurprisingly, women do not support males in women-only spaces.

Get with the program.

If you don't support unequivocally, 100%, no debate, no questions, you are a BIGOT.

ArabellaScott · 21/02/2023 11:30

you won't get support here

Unsurprisingly, women do not support males in women-only spaces.

Bathhy · 21/02/2023 11:27

@bluepetergeneration Hi OP,

I'm also a trans woman in a very similar situation to you, I'm sorry you feel the way you do but you won't get support here - I've sent you a private message if you wish to talk to someone in a similar situation to you and feels similar to you as well.

Take care and be safe

GailBlancheViola · 21/02/2023 11:23

Datun · 21/02/2023 10:24

Yes. Search facility is enlightening.

Show quote history

Isn't it just @Datun.

Datun · 21/02/2023 11:19

My teenage daughter, my elderly mother in law and my son do not feel the same so kindly refrain from trying to remove our rights to single sex spaces. My son is particularly uncomfortable with older ladies being overly forward.

Quite. That poster might feel confident undressing themselves in front of strange men, but my son would be very put off. And not because she's older than him, he would feel just as embarrassed if his peers did it.

What do these woman think?

RichardBarrister · 21/02/2023 11:10

NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 21/02/2023 10:52

Regarding shared sink areas, follow this link to twitter.com/RubySampson18/status/1627365418321977347

Also relevant to the hand-drying discussion.

Oof, I saw that letter she wrote. The male born trans person in the toilets next to Ruby washing hands at the sink made the observation that he would dry his hands on his penis (for anyone rushing to complain about my correct use of pronouns, there is no way in a million years that I would refer to someone who is proposing to use their penis as a hand towel as ‘she’).

To be in an enclosed space with a male that has an obvious joy in making women feel uncomfortable must have been terrifying. Women’s toilets are often down a long dark corridor where no one will hear you scream.

Swipe left for the next trending thread