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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Just resigned due to abusive male ‘customer’. I feel so sad and humiliated.

130 replies

TheEmperorIsNaked · 16/02/2023 20:34

Yesterday I tried to serve a man who, I think, had decided to act like a cunt before he entered the store. I did my best not to rise to it and tried to remain professional in the presence of what I can only describe as utter contempt from him. He called me names and threw paper at me and goaded me to call the police.

I called for security but they didn’t come. I have since been advised that they are employed to protect stock and not staff 😡.

I should have left my desk but I stupidly decided to follow previous instructions to never leave the desk unmanned. When he left he said, menacingly “You better not report me”.

After he’d gone and a colleague came to relieve me I burst into tears … In front of customers! I think the humiliation of that is what hurts the most. I then had to walk through the shop like that. I don’t know who saw me but I feel so ashamed; like I disgraced myself in public.

I left a note on my bosses desk explaining that I was leaving early. We spoke today and I told her that my husband would be delivering my resignation letter tomorrow and that I would not be able to work my notice period. She was very kind and offered solutions but I just can’t face going back in there. I’m terrified that this man will come back in again, but even if he doesn’t, some other nasty misogynist probably will.

I feel absolutely defeated.

OP posts:
axolotlfloof · 16/02/2023 20:46

Don't go back if you don't feel safe. I wouldn't resign yet though. Ask for a meeting with your manager to discuss your safety. You did nothing wrong.
Don't rush into resigning.

SilentHedges · 16/02/2023 20:43

I'm so very sorry that you had to experience this disgusting man. Its no surprise he's made you feel dreadful. However, how you feel is in your control not his. The way I mentally deal with these encounters is to tell myself that I've had to experience this person just once for a brief moment of my life. They however are stuck with their miserable personality and actions for their lifetime.

Versailles2023 · 16/02/2023 20:43

It’s tough. I’ve been spat at, verbally abused, slapped, called horrendous names and had my life threatened. Welcome to the NHS post pandemic. I left and I do not regret it. Do what’s best for you.

FanSpamTastic · 16/02/2023 20:42

At the end of the day your physical and mental health is more important than any job.

I am so sorry that you had to go through this and your employer is as much to blame as the customer. I cannot believe that security would not come out to deal with this person.

I once had a customer try to physically attack me in a fast food shop - my colleagues immediately leapt to my defence and restrained him while the police were called. He was arrested and taken away. I was able to go back to work because I knew it was an isolated incident and I knew my colleagues had my back. I could not have gone back in if they had ignored it and left me to deal with it alone.

hangonsnoopy · 16/02/2023 20:41

They should not be instructing you to not leave the desk.

When I worked in retail if anyone was abusive we were allowed to just walk away.

The abuse from customers is horrendous.