Just resigned due to abusive male ‘customer’. I feel so sad and humiliated.

God help your staff if you really are a manager and you think how the OP's workplace operate is fine. Yes, you will get abusive customers, but everywhere I have worked the practice has been to walk away to a staff-only location e.g. the kitchen (even if manning the till) and get the manager. It shouldn't have escalated to what the OP had described if effective management and policies were in place.

Yes. Staff need to know that they are not expected to put up with abuse or rudeness and that their employers will back them up.

Dear God, op your incident reminded me of the time that a "man" chose to personally blame me because government funding had been denied to his business because his application turned out to be fraudulent. He got my direct line and was threatening to wait outside the office and beat me up, was called a cunt, bitch, fucking moron. Because his attempted fraud failed.
I nearly resigned and mine wasnt face to face, I wasnt in the local office as he thought but hundreds of miles away AND my employers took immediate action ( all calls recorded so police informed) .
I was terrified to answer the phone at work for months afterwards.

Don't be hasty. Don't resign.
Go off such with stress for a few days. Give yourself a break.

Ask your HR what they plan to do to protect their staff

Get a solution that ensures your safety. Some people are just highly unpleasant this isn't your fault

Do sorry this happened. I used to work in retail while studying then lookeing for a job afterwards. So it was a hard time anyway and my mh was poor. But a huge part of that was customers. Many were so rude and some abusive like you describe.

I'd think about your finances before resigning but if you can afford it and font feel safe I get it.

I would speak to ACAS about your employers' behaviour and whether you can claim constructive dismissal.

To tell you that security will only protect stock and not staff is inappropriate and their failure to intervene is unacceptable.

Your employer has a duty to provide a safe environment for you to work in.

Totally agree. All staff must be able to protect themselves from verbal abuse and the threat of violence. I understand you may want to move on, OP, but - if you are a member of a union, please let them know.

@TheEmperorIsNaked so sorry to read what you have been through, particularly the lack of support from work, that support can make all the difference. I was off work (NHS) with PTSD caused by a particularly vile tirade from a patient, I had counselling sessions with the Occupational health Consultant and he pointed out that even though we are public facing we are in caring roles, not security, and should not be expected to deal with this sort of abuse. Which was a very useful point as I had been thinking it was my lack of resilience that led to my inability to cope. It absolutely wasn't, and my role is not a punch bag for abusive people.
I also (eventually) got counselling via my GP (CBT) and I was surprised at how helpful that was.
So please seek support from other agencies, it is there even if absent from your workplace 💐

Agree completely. On man threatened to be waiting for me at the end of my shift. I was terrified.

My 20yo dd faced similar once and said to the woman “do you know you’re being really fucking rude”. Certainly made the customer shut up. 😁🙈. Dd did get reported by the customer but her manager backed her up. Personally I’d like to see more staff feeling empowered to be able to tell nasty, bullying customers what they think.

It's appalling that a security guard claimed that he was there to protect the stock, not the staff.

Really sorry this happened to you, good luck with job hunting. I'm glad your mum can help out - I would definitely want to help my daughter out if she was in the same situation.

Why do people keep telling OP not to resign? Seems like she already has resigned.

I think you’re acting completely in your best interests by resigning like this and leaving them in the lurch. I wouldn’t want to work an evening shift on a Friday night after the company has demonstrated complete disregard for my personal safety either.

it’s not the OP’s responsibility to stay and try to enforce policy change and this does end a powerful message to her shitty former employer. I work in recruitment and this is an extremely challenging market for companies, they are crying out for decent staff. This means it should be easier for OP (who has extensive experience) to get a new job, and it makes it more difficult for her ex employer to fill her role. Recruitment is also expensive so it will hit them in their wallet.

Sorry you had such a nasty experience OP. If you can manage it it could be worth calling in sick for a couple of days to clear you head if you're still feeling unsettled by the experience. It would mean you've taken time to confirm that resigning isn't a knee-jerk response.

Ignore the posters who come on a feminist board to basically tell a woman to get over unpleasant, intimidating male behaviour. It's a strange thing to do.

Course you did pet.

I've been spat at, sworn at, threatened with rape (a particularly bad day) and had one charmer hold his fist in my face while screaming that I'm a fucking cunt. Dealing with the general public is shit.
I feel for you OP. Usually it's water off a ducks back to me but every now and then one of them gets under your skin and you can't shake what happened.

Sorry to hear this op the general public can be vile. The problem here isn't the customer it's the lack of backing from your colleagues. If it's not to late instead of resigning go off sick as it will give you longer to find another job. Good luck op x

It’s so depressing that manners and common courtesy are a thing of the past for so many these days. What fuels theee oriole and their behaviour I wonder. Imagine having to live with them.
I would be reporting this to your union and writing to the head of HR. It’s totally unacceptable that you are expected to just sit there and take abuse with no security back up. Is there no CCTV that the police should be looking at?

Your employer has a duty of care to prevent harm to you. That man's behaviour was disgusting. Report it, don't leave your job over sone tw@t. If he comes in again, don't serve him. Go to security and report him, get him banned. Problem solved and you don't need to loose your job.

Sending a hug xxx

I work in a customer facing role too OP. I can absolutely understand where you're coming from. Just wanted to send my support.

Just want to send you a hug & to say hang on in there. Don’t resigns I’m so sorry things were so bad. This is not your shame but his.

I would encourage you not to resign but to take a few days to think it over.

There is something here about unfair constructive dismissal due to your employer’s breach of a fundamental implied term in your contract - your health and safety at work. I’d also suggest you give ACAS a call. Assuming you’ve been there for 2 or more years.

Please don't resign. Think about this for a day or so. Ring manager, ask for today off. Don't let one vile customer ruin it. When you have calmed down over the weekend you will talk to Dh and realise how you could have handled it better. Work on your self esteem to recognise that you are better than this. In hindsight maybe you should've walked away, said please don't talk to me in that way, and got a fellow colleague / manager to deal with him?

And OP, I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. You being told that you weren't allowed to leave the desk despite being in fear of possible physical abuse and security refusing to do anything are just unacceptable.

Sounds like www.glassdoor.co.uk