Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Non-consensual sexual activities

60 replies

JellySaurus · 16/02/2023 10:05

I have a question about non-consensual sexual activities, both those that require physical contact and those that don't.

Why is it generally men who do these things, and not women?

It happens worldwide and across eras, so I can't believe that it is cultural or entirely down to socialisation.

Is it purely biology? If so, why don't women on testosterone exhibit these behaviours? Does their socialisation restrain them? Or do they simply not have the 'urge'?

Why do some men never do them, even though they may be dominators or controllers in other aspects of their lives?

What causes these behaviours?

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 16/02/2023 11:09

Exactly nimbus

Nimbostratus100 · 16/02/2023 11:06

Naunet · 16/02/2023 10:32

Jesus Christ, why are we seeing so many “women are just as bad” comments on the feminism board? It’s patently untrue.

well, because in this case, the OP is asking why women dont do this, but the answer is, they do.

And most sexual violence certainly comes from men, and worse sexual violence, but certainly not all.

If 98% of convicted sex offenders are men, that doesnt mean 50 x more men than women are committing these acts, becasuse the same act, from a woman, instead of a man, is less likely to be classed as a crime

Fairislefandango · 16/02/2023 11:04

Just not in such a big percentage.

Do you think 'not such a big percentage'is a sufficient way to describe 2% vs 98%? I don't.

Nimbostratus100 · 16/02/2023 11:02

Comefromaway · 16/02/2023 10:28

hormones have nothing whatsoever to do with it - it is personality

Young, teenage boys are fuelled by testosterone. Social conditioning & personality mitigate this but some do stupid things if they are in an environment where it is seen as acceptable. SO as I said before, a mixture.

But testosterone is a male sex hormone involved in reproduction

but this sort of behaviour is not about reproduction

It is about power games, sadism, bullying and generally deeply inadequate personalities seeking out someone they can exert themselves over

HyacinthineMacaw · 16/02/2023 11:01

Part of the motivation is surely power, to create fear and reinforce dominance? Flashing, upskirting, rubbing up against you on the tube - men know these incite a fear response in women. They are asserting their power over us. Women on a hen do flashing their boobs don’t make men afraid. They might be embarrassed, or find it funny. No woman who has experienced these things from men find them funny. We are back to power, patriarchy and the need to subjugate women.

ArabellaScott · 16/02/2023 11:00

OP I have to go out just now. I will dig out stats on fetish/paraphilia later. This is an overwhelmingly male crime, as are all crimes of non-consensual sexual activity. There's quite a lot of research on it.

ArabellaScott · 16/02/2023 10:57

rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/statistics-sexual-violence/

98% of adults prosecuted for sexual offences are men

ArabellaScott · 16/02/2023 10:55

Naunet · 16/02/2023 10:32

Jesus Christ, why are we seeing so many “women are just as bad” comments on the feminism board? It’s patently untrue.

Indeed.

Do we really have to dig out the statistics again?

Fairislefandango · 16/02/2023 10:55

I have heard several young teen males...

I think it's probably best to view this from a statistics point of view, not a 'several young teen males that one person has met' point of view. What are the statistics like for men arrested or imprisoned for rape or sexual assault vs women, I wonder...

ArabellaScott · 16/02/2023 10:55

Comefromaway · 16/02/2023 10:13

Women & girls do, do those things. Just not in such a big percentage. I think its a mix of social conditioning and (in younger males) hormones

All of those things are overwhelmingly committed by males.

Runningonempty01 · 16/02/2023 10:49

Naunet · 16/02/2023 10:32

Jesus Christ, why are we seeing so many “women are just as bad” comments on the feminism board? It’s patently untrue.

It's awful so patently untrue, a few examples of woman behaving badly at hen dos compared to the appalling and ongoing history of sexual violence and murder against women and girls . It just not the same!!!

Mango101 · 16/02/2023 10:47

Evolutionary biology.
Pattern across most mammals, genes express different behaviour between the sexes, to maximise reproductive success - for genes, nothing else matters.

Comefromaway · 16/02/2023 10:33

I have heard several young teen males talk about situations where they have met a girl and they have received unwanted physical attention/remarks or been sent unsolicited pictures. It's made them feel uncomfortable, but they don't complain for fear of being laughed at.

Naunet · 16/02/2023 10:32

Jesus Christ, why are we seeing so many “women are just as bad” comments on the feminism board? It’s patently untrue.

Nimbostratus100 · 16/02/2023 10:30

I agree its common in women too

I stopped going out with one group of women from work because of their attitude to some of the men we worked with, they carried score sheets on amount of "accidental" physical contact they had achieved, and with higher marks for different physical areas.

This was carried out in normal day to day interactions, not after drink, although the score sheets were compared in pubs / coffee bars etc

CompleteGinasaur · 16/02/2023 10:29

TulaDoesTheHula · 16/02/2023 10:21

There have been some studies that have shown sexual violence within lesbian relationships to be as high as 50-55%.

Could you cite specific studies, please? As an older lesbian with a long and varied history of relationships of lengths ranging from one night stands to over 25 years probably totalling around 50 in all (non monogamy was almost compulsory for a while in the 80s!) I am frankly sceptical of this assertion..

Runningonempty01 · 16/02/2023 10:28

maddy68 · 16/02/2023 10:16

It definitely isn't confined to men.

Have you ever seen a group of women on a hen night ?

My brother is a singer and is frequently groped , bum pinched. Flashed boobs at

Very unpleasant behaviour, i am sorry your brother has been sexually assaulted i hope he feels able to report this to the police/ management of where he works., It seems that there are rare and specific situations where women behave like this. Whilst the list of things mainly done by men is grimly endless. Indecent exposure, unsolicited sexual images, cat calling, groping, child sexual abuse, rape and sexually motivated murder is so dominated by male offenders.

Comefromaway · 16/02/2023 10:28

Newbutoldfather · 16/02/2023 10:21

At least some of it is perception.

if a woman is kissing a man and she touches his penis, it is unlikely the man would feel violated and, even if he did, unlikely he would complain about it. Equally, if a woman flashes, unlikely many would complain, even less that it would be recorded as a crime.

finally, we have a long tradition of men being expected to ‘make a move’ and for a woman to encourage or reject it. Not saying whether this is biology or cultural, but it is still true, albeit less than it was.

it is easy to say ‘men’ are more likely to be sexually predatory, and it is also true, there are more predatory men than women. But, there are some predatory women and genuine misunderstandings also exist.

I'd agree with this.

Comefromaway · 16/02/2023 10:28

hormones have nothing whatsoever to do with it - it is personality

Young, teenage boys are fuelled by testosterone. Social conditioning & personality mitigate this but some do stupid things if they are in an environment where it is seen as acceptable. SO as I said before, a mixture.

Beowulfa · 16/02/2023 10:27

The only time I've seen women make suggestive comments at or attempt to grope men has been in groups, emboldened by alcohol, and usually on a Hen Night. I've never seen a lone woman do anything like this.

bbgx · 16/02/2023 10:26

maddy68 · 16/02/2023 10:16

It definitely isn't confined to men.

Have you ever seen a group of women on a hen night ?

My brother is a singer and is frequently groped , bum pinched. Flashed boobs at

That is true. I feel for these examples, they're done because they think they can get away with it/think it's funny rather than because it's erotic/arousing to pinch a random man's bum

Naunet · 16/02/2023 10:26

TulaDoesTheHula · 16/02/2023 10:21

There have been some studies that have shown sexual violence within lesbian relationships to be as high as 50-55%.

Can you link to one of these studies? I ask because the only one I’ve heard of is one that showed lesbians have experienced sexual violence at a higher rate than straight women. MRAs ran with that and claimed this violence was at the hands of other lesbians, but when you actually looked at the study, they’d experienced it at the hands of men.

Fairislefandango · 16/02/2023 10:25

A bit of biology imo (higher reproductive drive due to being able to potentially impregnate multiple women, not limited by having to go through the danger and pain of childbirth etc) resulting in prioritising sexual gratification over other things most women would consider more important. But mostly socialisation into a belief (conscious or subconscious) that women's main purpose is to provide sexual gratification (and service in general) for men.

Newbutoldfather · 16/02/2023 10:21

At least some of it is perception.

if a woman is kissing a man and she touches his penis, it is unlikely the man would feel violated and, even if he did, unlikely he would complain about it. Equally, if a woman flashes, unlikely many would complain, even less that it would be recorded as a crime.

finally, we have a long tradition of men being expected to ‘make a move’ and for a woman to encourage or reject it. Not saying whether this is biology or cultural, but it is still true, albeit less than it was.

it is easy to say ‘men’ are more likely to be sexually predatory, and it is also true, there are more predatory men than women. But, there are some predatory women and genuine misunderstandings also exist.

TulaDoesTheHula · 16/02/2023 10:21

There have been some studies that have shown sexual violence within lesbian relationships to be as high as 50-55%.