Women are only as safe as their male partner allows them to be

I can't read it. I'm not keen on the title. Yes we know that statistically most women are attacked by someone they know. But phrasing it that way I'm not keen on. Women could be attacked by any man, not just their partner.

What did you mean then?

Try this: 12ft.io/

I agree but they must leave.

I do understand what you say but I can't accept excusing women who stay in that situation, especially with children.

I agree to an extent-but when it gets to physical aggression of any kind for the furst time that is surely a turning point and a woman should leave and never go back. We can not choose to expose our children to this but that is what happens. Men should not behave like this but women MUST walk away with their children (if they have them). Yes, it's hard to do but there is no excuse for not doing it- no child should live with these men; the damage they suffer is lifelong.

That is far too simplistic a view. It negates the impact of coercive control and financial abuse. It ignores the fact some women will be living under threat of their children being harmed if they try to leave. It assumes a robust support system is in place for women who flee. It disregards the fact the courts instruct mothers to hand their children over to abusive men for unsupervised contact in the event that they do leave. I do sometimes find it hard to fathom why women stay or return to abusive men, but then I give my head a wobble, remind myself “there but for the grace” and it’s far too complex an issue to be reduced to “shoulds”.

But it DOES need bringing in when people are telling our daughters to ignore their instincts and allow men into women’s spaces. It’s absolutely related.

Women have a responsibility to themselves and to their children to not live with men who are aggressive, controlling, abusive and violent. Of course men have a responsibility to not do those things but women should never put up with them or expose their children to living with these men. There are no excuses for men or women putting children in that situation repeatedly- apart from the danger, the emotional damage is terrible and perpetuates the behaviour continuing when boys grow up, if that's what they grow up seeing.

I now see men as inherently predatory, I believe that the majority of them are capable of being decent but if they get too much of the taste for power and control they turn bad very easily.
It's too easy for them to get the upper hand in a relationship because they are physically able to dominate us and because society gives more licence to men to be dominant. Never let them get the upper hand never let them get in a situation where they have too much leverage because if they have it they will use it.

‘We’ll keep advocating for those things here’ sounds awfully like there’s no room for dissenting opinion, which again, would explain why my inoffensive post defending trans rights got deleted.

Actually I typed that we'll keep advocating against those things. I notice that you haven't denied what you are advocating for though.

And what rights do Trans People not have? We keep asking this question but no one seems to be able to answer it.

You're calling people transphobes because they care about women's rights. And you don't think that's offensive? You're advocating for men's rights over women's rights but you want to paint people who see the damage this does to women as the ones not allowing room for dissenting opinions? Your statements are one sided and worthless. They are just mud slinging dressed up.

BTW, if I was a relative or friend of this family, I would be disgusted if people were putting a lot of effort into presenting that gender ideology is no making women more vulnerable and trying to hide the fact that all men can be a danger to women regardless of identity.

How did you choose to be safe?
And in the awful event that your DH did hit you or abuse you, would you still be able to choose to be safe?

I think you are saying that your DH is not responsible for your safety, which I get, but it does leave a slightly bad taste for those who don't feel safe in their homes. And that shouldn't be their fault.

‘We’ll keep advocating for those things here’ sounds awfully like there’s no room for dissenting opinion, which again, would explain why my inoffensive post defending trans rights got deleted.

The discussion of choices puts me in mind of something Caitlin Moran once wrote (back in the days when she was writing good stuff about actual feminism). She was talking about the physical differences between men and women, how much more powerful men are, and likened it to being surrounded by bears. So you go on a date with a bear, and you just have to hope you get a good one (I'm paraphrasing obviously!)

That's what it's like to be a woman. There isn't really any choice involved, apart from the choice to go out in the world. It's a leap of faith, every single day - we literally just have to hope we don't meet a bad one. And if you're straight and you choose to live with one, you hope you've got it right. What you can't do is choose to be safe - unless you avoid the bears completely (women’s commune maybe?)

True this. After being married to two men who turned on me I'll never live with another man. I cant bring myself to trust them when my gut says they are dangerous and uncontrolled.

Pro women. If you think being pro women is anti Trans then you know there is a clash of rights. You can keep on advocating for the men if you want but if I was you, I'd start thinking of excuses as to why you advocate for rapists in female prisons and a lifelong medical path for young people as people are waking to to it al.
We'll keep advocating against those things here.

I was objecting to your assessment of my critical thinking ability.

I'm more than capable of disagreeing with someone. You didn't need to get personal so you can fuck off again.

I repeat: You do not know me. You do not know about my personal or professional experience.
And you actually don't know my views on gender.
All you know is that I don't agree this needs to be brought into a discussion about this woman and her child.
I find it insulting and if I was their relative or friend I would be appalled.

More ridiculous attempts to name call and shut down women I see.

I remember my father telling me this years and years ago that a woman's ( and I'll add on heterosexual) most important choice in life was who she decides to have children with.
At the time it seemed ridiculous. I thought that there were so many others choices/factors/luck, who knows, along the line that would be more decisive, but now I agree with him.
Obviously this is on a broad scale, and obviously talking about women that do want children.

Being pro women, and believing that TW are TW but still male is not anti trans. Accepting that current statistics indicate that TW offend in the same pattern and proportion as other men is not anti trans.

As with other men there are plenty of nice TW who aren't bad people. But whilst the statistics show that offending rates are similar, all males should be included in the risk assessment irrespective of presentation and identification. Eroding this is eroding women's rights and teaching people than women are not worthy of safe guarding

Two cheeks of the same arse.

And of course you also have the rise of incel forums, men grouping together, supporting misogynists and bonding over hating women.

Violent rhetoric against women online is rife. Some of the most openly graphic threats come from trans activists and the men who follow them. There is no respect for women and girls. It's perfectly expected that women protesting their rights can be openly threatened with violence in the street.

This is on the sex/gender forum. If you don't want mention of women's rights in relation to single sex spaces, and how these relate to Emma and Lettie Pattinson's murder, you should find a discussion on another forum.

This. We regulars didn't ask for the board split. But this is where women can talk about things that affect women based on sex.