Women are only as safe as their male partner allows them to be

In my view men can be a useful and beneficial part of your life provided that you keep them on a tight leash, it's important to never let them have the upper hand, you must never ever surrender yourself to a man.
If you are in a situation where you're trapped and vulnerable this will tend to trigger the predatory instincts and they become very problematic.
Obviously I'm saying all of this in hindsight, there was no way for me to see or appreciate these things when I was younger.

1-I do not live with my partner, this is a key factor in the success of our relationship
2-I cannot abide dogs, a dog that's powerful enough to defend me would feel like too much of a threat, I'm very confident than my partner will never attack me I cannot say the same about a dog.
A dog is far too much hard work for no benefit at all, I hate the fecking stinking festering rancid things and all of the stupid besotted owners, another benefit of my partner is that he's very good with dogs and when I'm with him I'm not scared of them.

Women, it's dangerous to be too successful. Think of the poor men!

twitter.com/emmavj/status/1624194092354752514

Surely a big dog (German Shepherd, Rottweiler, or similar) would have the same effect, and be more pleasant to live with (better house-trained, make less mess, not talk, etc.)?

that's the reason I keep mine, scares off all the others, I dont actually live with him but I make sure people know he exists, if you're going to retain a man it needs to be a big muscular hands like shovels one, he has to look capable but never actually lose his temper or get into fights etc

Some of us don't feel safe unless we do live with a man. The amount of stalking I've received has gone down since my partner is visibly living at my house.

Plus the reality is that in leaving, most abusers still get unsupervised contact with their children, even when there is compelling evidence (medical, police reports) of abuse. So in escaping you are often leaving your children more exposed to abuse. It's an awful dilemma.

Hard to make your kids homeless and live in abject poverty after just one slap. Easy to say it
This^
If she could easily leave and be financially comfortable with without him, he'd not be abusive, they start, -the predatory instincts kick in- when they are in a position of power. It's not until she is trapped that he starts getting the urge to exploit the situation, he wants to increase the feeling of power and domination, he cant get that feeling if she can easily up and leave and have a comfortable life without him.

Such a blinkered perspective.
Easy to judge from a position of such simplicity.

Hard to make your kids homeless and live in abject poverty after just one slap. Easy to say it.

Maybe listen to women with experience of the situation.

That’s not the point. I’m having trouble articulating my feelings but it certainly was not that. It’s more the fact that it feels she was describing this amazonian utopia is the only solution and that women must simply opt out of being around men.

Also the idea that women can’t and shouldn’t make their own choices because we can’t make good choices about men. that’s a very bad way of wording it but that’s what I mean.

It also erases the fact that many times women do marry there’s men they are often not violent in the beginning. The idea that they are forced or coerced into marrying them is very misleading and problematic.

If you want to have an imaginary argument go for it. But this definitely isn’t about me saying that my man is better than your man so they all must be good. That’s very much taking my comment out of context and you may effectively be arguing with a wall if you feel the need to push that narrative! But good luck if you like misrepresenting women and unfairly painting them in uncharacteristic ways!

As a Lesbian all my former safe female-only spaces; bathrooms, changing rooms, gyms, yoga class Lesbian dating sites, Lesbian groups, women's social groups, now permit men who can say they are women.
I want all men out; the good and the bad. Because bio men are the problem!
Putting on a dress doesn't change male behavior.
I want my fucking boundaries back!
I want safeguards for young girls

@TheMatriarchy this! You just have to trawl through the posts on Mumsnet from desperate mothers who are being threatened with having their children taken away by bitter ex partners! Then these posts are hijacked by the 'fathers4justice' brigade who jump on these women's posts and shout 'what about the father. Go to court and you'll be forced 50:50.' Family court is used to abuse and manipulate vulnerable women even more!

@LuluBlakey1 the situation isn't black and white. You don't give men credit for the amount of power they actually have. For the many women that do leave, these men then take the women to court, twist truths and can get 50:50 shared care and in some cases full custody. A mother cannot protect her children, the family court is not set up that way. It is set up and run by the patriarchy and is centred around a 'shared parenting model' which can be used by abusive men to control women in their life and is certainly not in the child's best interests in many cases. I suggest you go and volunteer with some DV charities to educate yourself about living with abuse.

Abusive men begin by innocuously removing your support system, your financial freedom, your confidence... The physical abuse rarely starts before getting you into a vulnerable position where its not easy to leave. I would put money that the unemployed 'Dave' who murdered Emma Pattison told her if she tried to leave he was a SAHD and therefore would be the resident parent of their daughter. Not easy to leave if you think you are handing your daughter over to an abusive man for most of the time.

I agree but predators tend to have an instinct for what they can get away with, the more 'successful' the predator the more finely tuned their ability, it's about controlling dominating and breaking the victim, a clever predator won't use violence at all it's too much of a blunt instrument or they won't use it until they are sure they can make the victim put up with it.
I think there's a lot of grooming and a lot of exploiting trauma bonds, this may be done instinctively some of it may be more conscious and strategic.

This case doesn't involve a trans individual, but it is symptomatic of the wider issue of male violence and female safety. For example, trans ideology meant a university student couldn't organise a women's group for female survivors of male violence without being called bigoted and phobic and having to take the student union to court.

Gender woo didn't cause the deaths of this woman and girl, but it makes it harder to try and do something about it.

More women are attacked by men than the group of men who identify as trans women, because that group is a small proportion of men. However, once you adjust for that, the attacks carried out by men identifying as trans are disproportionately high. While there are transwomen who are nice people who are personally no threat, that absolutely does not mean that transwomen as a whole do not pose a threat. They evidence shows that they, as a whole, do.

If I was a relative, I’d be disgusted that people were conflating a horrific, tragic domestic violence case with trans people. This husband wasn’t trans. Trans people have nothing to do with this, and the vast majority of attacks against women- they’re overwhelmingly perpetrated by cisgender, heterosexual men.

i did respond, it got deleted.

My response said the opposite of the accusations in this thread- I work in gender equality, I work with trans people, I have been sexually assaulted, I have supported friends who have been sexually assaulted. I have never felt threatened by a transwoman. I have many, many times felt threatened by men.

Once again, I am not going to fuck off. Sorry to disappoint you.

Male-bodied people having access to our single sex spaces and women being told they are bigots for not being OK with this, and for not being OK with our boundaries being further and further eroded is 100% part of this problem.

It is completely and utterly obvious.

It is one of the most significant issues facing women at the moment. It is yet another festering symptom of male oppression, and of even the most ‘progressive’ members of society not giving a shit about women and their safety.

Of course "trans issues" are pertinent to a discussion on female safety and male violence. Under gender ideology, women won't even have 5 minutes a day in the Ladies away from the male gaze, let alone feel safe in an "inclusive" domestic refuge. Under self ID crime stats about male violence will become fudged and useless. Under gender ideology male oppressors get to claim that they are now actually oppressed, marginalised and vulnerable.

Why are we making it harder for women and children to be safe?

At this point I don’t know whether I’m more angry at male violence and their inherently predatory tendencies - or the “my Dave” brigade who believe abuse-victims deliberately chose to seek out abusive men.

I imagine those women are also in the “my Dave would never cheat on me” camp.

Delusion is alive and well.

If you think women should leave you need to help create a society that supports women who leave.

That includes funding DV shelters, housing, employment opportunities and benefits. If you are in a position to influence any of those, please step up and do so.

Even if all women were free to leave when they saw signs of violence, it's often hard to find housing, childcare, etc especially if they have been financially abused. It would be lovely if there was free money for all who deserve it but that isn't ever going to happen.

It's one line taken from a full quote - might be better in context. Don't have a link to the full BBC piece I'm afraid.

One woman is killed every three days by their current or former partner (in England & Wales). I think it's incredibly important this isn't dismissed as 'any man could do it'. Partners are massively more likely to hurt and kill you.

We need to face facts.

Absolutely this is imperative for young girls; I'm a lifelong Lesbian. The male figures in my personal life have been strong and supportive.

The minute I leave my house, go into parks, bathrooms, gyms I am at the mercy now of strange males, no matter how they identify . And from childhood I have had men;
expose themselves, feel me up, make lewd public sexual remarks, follow me & curse me for not being sexually available, try to force their way into my dorm to have nonconsensual sex, write unfavorable recommendations/give a bad uni grade due to not having sex with them, falsify their sex to date me ( transwoman on lesbian dating site back in 2010), enter bathrooms behind me for sexual purposes, touch me sexually in the sea at a public beach.

It is imperative young women are taught strong boundaries and to defend themselves.