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Original poster

“You don’t get to decide whether you’re transphobic or not and you don’t get to decide you’re an ally”

166 replies

AuuYSC · 22/01/2023 07:37

Then who does?

This was said to me by a transman when I said that buying a video game (hogwarts legacy) doesn’t define a persons morals and personal beliefs (because let’s face it, nothings really ethical unless you live off the grid completely) which of course was met with a stream of abuse and how I don’t care about trans lives.

I pointed out that actually I do, I am gender critical and I don’t think JK Rowling is transphobic but I also appreciate that trans people do face danger and need protection and I also think they have a right to be who they want to be. I’m also part of the lgbtq community and donate to the local youth club (I’ll admit it’s not just the trans people who benefit from my donation but it helps the whole community).

Am I wrong in thinking that the trans community are actually causing more harm to themselves with this game boycott because judging by the pre order sales (and the millions of people that visit HP world and theme parks and buys all the merch) that actually there isn’t a lot of people on their side and by telling people what they can and can’t do, saying they’re transphobic etc for simply buying a game or spending their money isn’t making the point they think it is?

It just really made me think about what the end goal is here, do they really think being treat as the biological sex they identify with, will help them?

Imagine if we all said okay trans men are men and trans women are women and we’ll treat them like such - trans men will be put into male prisons and wards (imagine how that’ll go), medical treatment will be restricted only to biological sex so if you’re a transman you can’t have smears because men don’t have a cervix etc obviously it’s absolutely ridiculous and won’t happen but I just don’t see the benefit of the whole “transwomen are women” stance, I think they sound be treat as trans people and we look at options for them like a third toilet option or a third sports category etc something that will benefit them without causing harm to biological men and women.

Sorry I went onto a bit of a rant, I’ve never considered myself to be transphobic but I guess if it’s not something I can decide for myself then who knows.

OP posts:
Original poster
AuuYSC · 22/01/2023 09:19

AuuYSC · 22/01/2023 09:18

According to the transman I spoke to, he would like to be imprisoned on the make estate but in a secluded area just for him.

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OP posts:
Original poster
AuuYSC · 22/01/2023 09:18

Myalternate · 22/01/2023 09:16

I’m curious, if a FtM person is imprisoned but they don’t want to be housed in the male estate, where do they want to be placed?

According to the transman I spoke to, he would like to be imprisoned on the make estate but in a secluded area just for him.

OP posts:
Myalternate · 22/01/2023 09:16

I’m curious, if a FtM person is imprisoned but they don’t want to be housed in the male estate, where do they want to be placed?

Waitwhat23 · 22/01/2023 09:13

AlisonDonut · 22/01/2023 08:59

Yesterday [female and they know they are] Scottish MPs stood proudly in front of a sign saying that TERFs need to be beheaded.

So we just call people the sex they are and they know they are and that's enough to call for us to be beheaded?

Ok pal, the gloves are off.

Just in case anyone missed it and is wondering-

news.stv.tv/west-central/police-scotland-launches-probe-into-hateful-sign-calling-for-decapitation-at-gender-rally-in-glasgow

Saltovinegar · 22/01/2023 09:13

nilsmousehammer · 22/01/2023 09:08

<shrug>

You don't get to define your sex or other people's reality either.

You don't decide you can just use disabled facilities just because you're reality is skewed.

Saltovinegar · 22/01/2023 09:09

AlisonDonut · 22/01/2023 08:59

Yesterday [female and they know they are] Scottish MPs stood proudly in front of a sign saying that TERFs need to be beheaded.

So we just call people the sex they are and they know they are and that's enough to call for us to be beheaded?

Ok pal, the gloves are off.

Yes I feel like this, no more sitting back anymore, if it's acceptable to make threats then the gloves are well and truly off.

nilsmousehammer · 22/01/2023 09:08

<shrug>

You don't get to define your sex or other people's reality either.

Saltovinegar · 22/01/2023 09:07

The FtM I've mentioned is insistent they are in fact a gay man but doesn't want to be called he/him but they/they're.

They also, this is the strange thing, hate men, almost fearful of them so I can't get my head around it.

AlisonDonut · 22/01/2023 08:59

Yesterday [female and they know they are] Scottish MPs stood proudly in front of a sign saying that TERFs need to be beheaded.

So we just call people the sex they are and they know they are and that's enough to call for us to be beheaded?

Ok pal, the gloves are off.

EmpressOfTheSofa · 22/01/2023 08:56

It’s also WILD how they scream transphobia while stating some of the most racist, homophobic and misogynistic guff I’ve ever heard.

Nah, it’s not working any more. The spell is broken and the emperor is a naked pervert.

Original poster
AuuYSC · 22/01/2023 08:55

Saltovinegar · 22/01/2023 08:49

Not a Hatty Potter fan but I'm buying Hogworts Legacy for my switch, not because I'm transphobic but because I'm sick of bigots telling me not to.

The FtM trans person I'm acquainted with has informed me they can't use women's toilets because they look like a man (they don't) and they're at risk in men's toilets so they will be using disabled ones.

They've me told I'm transphobic whan I said I thought that was wrong.

Well I'm happy to be a transphobe if it means defending a genuinely marginalised group of people over a fit and healthy young woman who wants her breasts cut off and is taking testosterone.

This is what confuses me about the whole trans movement, I try and be as supportive as I can but they want to be treat as the biological men and women that they identify as but with special exceptions meaning they’re not being treat the same and it goes against the whole idea of it?

I was speaking to a transman about how I really don’t agree with transwomen sex offender specifically being put into a women’s prison and they said it’s a myth that transwomen will hurt women (…) but if they were arrested they would want to be in a male prison but in a separate secluded area (for obvious reasons) but then that means being treat different, treat like a transman and not a man but you want to be treat like a biological man?

I don’t really understand it all but the more I try and educate myself, the more blurred it gets.

OP posts:
Staryflight445 · 22/01/2023 08:53

JenniferBarkley · 22/01/2023 07:50

Of course you don't get to decide if you're transphobic, your words and actions will demonstrate it one way or another.

Has the phrase "I'm not racist, but..." ever been followed by something that isn't racist? Not that I've ever heard anyway. You don't get to declare that you're not racist, you demonstrate it in the way you treat people. Any other prejudice is the same.

You can’t compare racism to transphobia.
racism is based off opinions, ‘transphobia’ is based on scientific fact.

I treat everybody with respect and couldn’t care less how someone is living their life or what parts they have down below compared to how they dress and identify. But do I believe we can change our sex? No. We cant, it’s biologically imprinted.
Dressing and behaving like a cat does not make me a cat even if I identify as so and I don’t think that’s transphobic.
Not wanting female only spaces to be opened up to trans people isn’t transphobic either as much as it isn’t not allowing trans people to take part in sports of the gender they’re identifying with.

EmpressOfTheSofa · 22/01/2023 08:52

There’s no such thing as transphobia. It’s a made up term to protect a made up ideology.

It’s a way of shutting people up, which they had to because the whole thing falls apart with the slightest scrutiny.

It’s been an effective tool to stop people talking to each other about it for a while now, but it’s lost its power. I’ve started being openly ‘transphobic*’ and it’s not as scary as I thought, it turns out almost everybody is but we were all too scared of abuse to admit it.

*transphobic here is stating men can’t be women; men shouldn’t be in women’s spaces, transing children is wrong etc.

Saltovinegar · 22/01/2023 08:52

Plus I've just added Aretha Franklin, Natural Woman to my playlist so I'll be even more of a transphobe!

Wellies54 · 22/01/2023 08:50

JellySaurus · 22/01/2023 08:32

Only trans-identified people are allowed to define what people are. Which is why they insist that gender-atheists are 'cis', regardless of how we feel about their labelling us, whereas we are not allowed to use sex-accurate language in reference to them.

Exactly! A man can say he's a woman, a woman can say she's a man, a teenager with blue hair of either sex can say they don't have a sex, they can make up all sorts of claims such as 'sex is a spectrum' or 'you don't know what your sex is because you haven't had your chromosones analysed' (But obviously don't suggest that trans people could have their chromosones anlysed to check their 'real' sex) Having a period is a state of mind, transwomen will one day give birth etc etc.

However - you - as a lowly woman who isn't under the magical sparkly umbrella of trans may not say or define anything.

Saltovinegar · 22/01/2023 08:49

Not a Hatty Potter fan but I'm buying Hogworts Legacy for my switch, not because I'm transphobic but because I'm sick of bigots telling me not to.

The FtM trans person I'm acquainted with has informed me they can't use women's toilets because they look like a man (they don't) and they're at risk in men's toilets so they will be using disabled ones.

They've me told I'm transphobic whan I said I thought that was wrong.

Well I'm happy to be a transphobe if it means defending a genuinely marginalised group of people over a fit and healthy young woman who wants her breasts cut off and is taking testosterone.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 22/01/2023 08:47

‘Of course you don’t get to decide self ID is harmless & just a teeny bit of admin, the resulting impact on women & girls single sex spaces will demonstrate it one way or another’

this argument ’works in many ways….

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/01/2023 08:45

So am I ok to point out the obvious misogyny of the trans movement @Meaningofthesea

Original poster
AuuYSC · 22/01/2023 08:45

@Meaningofthesea but it’s not right, it’s not as black and white as that as there would need to be intent and malice behind an action for it to be racist, homophobic or transphobic.

@romdowa I guess that’s the only thing to do isn’t it, you can’t win or convince them otherwise. You just are what they say you are which is kind of ironic really.

@AlisonDonut seems that way, doesn’t it. It’s all or nothing which seems to be a losing battle for them as demonstrated with this game.

OP posts:
Meaningofthesea · 22/01/2023 08:40

JenniferBarkley · 22/01/2023 07:50

Of course you don't get to decide if you're transphobic, your words and actions will demonstrate it one way or another.

Has the phrase "I'm not racist, but..." ever been followed by something that isn't racist? Not that I've ever heard anyway. You don't get to declare that you're not racist, you demonstrate it in the way you treat people. Any other prejudice is the same.

Absolutely right.

JellySaurus · 22/01/2023 08:32

Only trans-identified people are allowed to define what people are. Which is why they insist that gender-atheists are 'cis', regardless of how we feel about their labelling us, whereas we are not allowed to use sex-accurate language in reference to them.

AlisonDonut · 22/01/2023 08:26

Everything that anyone else wants that they do not approve of, is transphobic.

Waitwhat23 · 22/01/2023 08:26

SidewaysOtter · 22/01/2023 08:07

Computer games are transphobic! Books are transphobic! Everything is transphobic! Transphobia for everyone!

Hmm

The word ceases to have any meaning when it seems to translate as “transphobia is anything I don’t like because I'm trans and I perceive this viewpoint as “against me”…therefore it’s transphobic”.

Reminds me of a friend who thinks anyone who ever does anything she doesn’t like is “a narc”. And a similarly unhinged point of view.

This list probably needs updated again!

wingsoverscotland.com/everything-is-transphobic/

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/01/2023 08:26

YY.

romdowa · 22/01/2023 08:25

I just don't bother arguing with these people, I just agree, yes I'm a terf and yes I'm transphobic and yes I've pre ordered the game too. What can they say then? Its usually very little, you've taken the wind out of their sails.