“You don’t get to decide whether you’re transphobic or not and you don’t get to decide you’re an ally”

That's definitely more correct

"I never used to be transphobic, but the definition keeps changing so I'm not sure at the moment."
"I didn't used to be transphobic but I've seen some shocking behaviour from tansactivists which no one seems to object to, so I'm starting to change my perspective!"
"I wasn't before but a trans person has been so rude to me and it's hard to remember not all trans people are like that".

Men's Demands Movement.

Why does it not seem to occur to the frothing at the mouth activists that they are doing an awful disservice to their arguments.

I know I had a rant up page, but honestly, I am perfectly capable of supporting more than one group of people. Everyone should have a life that is free from discrimination and fear.

But every suggestion over the past few years, that the majority of transgender people would probably welcome, gender neutral spaces alongside single sex, finding a solution to the prisons that didn't put women at risk etc. Gets shot down under be kind and no debate.

At this point i imagine this would have all be done and dusted without anyone's existing rights getting trampled on.

But I swear the element of the activists that are winding the masses up to fever pitch are going to cause the whole thing to implode soon. And whilst we will get our rights back, and the laws and legislation will get sorted the main fall out will be in the genuine trans population that just want to go about their lives with as little fuss as possible I would imagine.

So who exactly are these activists supporting? It's not women obviously, But it's not the transgender population either. Which makes the frothing at the mouth lot a Mens Rights Movement. and the only people they want to help is men.

This whole time it's been classed as women against trans. It's not it's really women and transgender people against misogynist men.

There is three groups in this relationship.

It's a worry really, because there is so much misinformation on this topic, and people share it and believe it. It's like those nonsensical facebook posts that people like or share ("like this post to win a range rover" etc.) and I wonder how my friends can be so stupid as to fall for this crap. But somehow they do...

Well given that anything less than 100% agreement to whatever nonsense is spouted by TRAs next makes you 'transphobic', I can't be too bothered if that's how they label me.

I'm pretty much live and let live but am not up to agreeing to compelled speech or denying reality so if that makes me a transphobe then 🤷‍♀️

It gets used so often now, I think the word has very much started to lose power in a lot of places.

I'm completely done with the idea of 'trans' at all.
People should be honest about which sex they are, and present themselves any way they want .

I shared something on Facebook about JKR (about one of her books) and my dd accused me of being transphobic for supporting her. I asked her to find one transphobic quote by JKR, that is her saying anything hateful or even slightly dismissive of trans people. She couldn't find one of course.
On another Facebook post about JKR, a poster said and I quote, 'transwomen are literally being killed every day because of what JKR said'. Of course lots of people liked it and agreed with it. It's all such bullshit.

Thank you for sharing. Yes it’s important to remind ourselves that we are fighting an idea not an entire people! If I’m being frank sometimes I have to remind myself of this. I try to follow gender critical trans people. It not only helps me keep myself in check but they also have some really balanced opinions which is fantastic! It’s good to keep things mixed up and also a good reminder that trans people are no more a monolith than women are.

Hi Running

That app, Refuge, could you please tell us who created it? If it is for trans people, which group is creating something like this?

from a previous poster:

Of course you don't get to decide if you're transphobic, your words and actions will demonstrate it one way or another.

Well then in the same vein I declare anyone who supports trans rights and tries to shut up women and give away our rights is on the side of the Decapitate Terfs sign waver and is a misogynistic woman hater.

So, A message to those that still don't get it

THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY?

Does this look right?
Everyone?
Can you see yet?
Are you still blind?
Perhaps you missed it?
It was there in plain sight
There were
A lot of signs
Telling each and
Every one of those politicians
That tried to deny the
Evidence
Right there!
FUCKING HELL
Seriously?

DECAPITATE TERFS??

WAKE UP

OP I wouldn't worry about it - I'm a transman and apparently I'm also transphobic because I support the safeguarding of women and children, think JK Rowling isn't transphobic and always will love Harry Potter.

There is an app I use called Refuge which is simply for trans people to use to find either unisex toilets or LGBTQ services in their area with trans friendly bathrooms.

A lot of trans people seem to want to be accepted as the opposite sex, which of course I fully understand as gender dysphoria is horrendous to go through, but at the same time nobody can deny biolog or change their sex, and being either rude or threatening to others isn't going to change that.

You're very much right about trans people making things worse for themselves - I'm so, so tired of the hate and anger I see daily in the groups I'm in. What used to be groups of support are now mostly lists of celebrities we should shun, anti-feminist rubbish and the word TERF used in every other paragraph.

I'm sorry for those of you who feel like you need to question yourself or have been made to feel bad in any way for trying to protect yourself and your children - but please know not all of us are full of anger and hate, and you are not wrong on this at all.

No one gets to decide if they are transphobic but they also don’t get to decide if they are misogynous or anti free speech.

And just because they call someone transphobic doesn’t necessarily make it so.

Like you said they want everything to be exactly their way at any cost even at the expense of others. They want to destroy women’s sports, safety and children’s rights so they can feel more accepted as “women” or in this case a “man” but they still want the appropriate health care in which case they have no choice but to back down. “BUT THAT IS DIFFERENT.” they say. Would they say it’s their… biological reality? Aw but cis women don’t get the same return of respect. Who cares about us anyways? Us and our “cis privilege”. Sure.

Well my toddler thinks I’m not her ally because I didn’t let her put her hands on the hot stovetop while I was cooking dinner last night but that doesn’t mean I’m not on her side. I suppose she will feel differently when she is old enough and determined enough to sneak behind me and do it anyways and I have to go out and buy her some burn cream. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have wondered about some sort of trauma. They are a young adult and their parents have been very supportive despite being a bit baffled by it.

Although I'm close enough to discuss potential trauma I think it would devastate the parents to think that this is the reason for transitioning. I was hoping that age and maturity would mean a change in mindset but sadly testosterone is going to be ordered off the internet and they are actively saving for a private mastectomy.

Friends have been alienated due to accidental misgendering and a couple of girlfriends dumped unceremoniously now they've realised they're not a lesbian. They also seem to have a total dissociation where trans women are concerned, insisting they are just women with a penis.

I feel desperately sorry for them but I have lost a bit of sympathy with the disabled toilet usage.

The only right answer to that is, "oh dear, is that so? Well, so be it." Unless you are prepared to diligently track the shifting mood, you might as well accept the inevitable and save yourself some time.

Well, it might be, e.g. 'I'm not racist but I have sadly noticed that the grooming gangs of Rotherham were mostly made up of Pakistani men'- which is a statement of fact, because they were.

Hes not wrong

bearing in mind the OP has been accused of being transphobic for buying a game

That’s up there with “non-crime hate incidents”. Either it’s something or it’s not; it can't be Schrödinger’s crime.

I was talking to ds2 a few months back and he said that I wasn’t transphobic but that i said stuff other people might find transphobic

its very confusing 😀

Hence voluntary solitary confinement? I wonder if they've really thought that one through.

It’s pure jealousy. Harry and his pals had the ability to change things with a wand swish and a bit of pretend Latin, no faffing around with hormones, meaningless new birth certificates and passports, voice coaching, surgery and changing the language to prove a point. I’m not surprised that TRAs are peeved.

Many TRAs seem obsessed with Harry Potter and JKR. They can't let it go.

I do sincerely hope that India and all people invited for cervical screening attend the appointment. With the proviso that where the speculum is inserted should be at the discretion of the healthcare professional.

If someone needs to rely on emotional manipulation and blackmail it's because they don't have a good sensible argument.