Drop the Queer

sorry that happened to you...have you made a complaint? people like that need feedback

The thing is, often reaching out to that 0.02% entails alienating a whole separate chunk of people.

A while back I was on an online moderated support chat room for people with one of a particular group of sexual orientations, and having a particular issue, and the staff facilitator in the chat room was very surprised when I reacted with upset and offence to him referring to me specifically as queer, when I'd used entirely different words to refer to myself.

The facilitator seemed shocked, as though it was entirely unexpected for me to feel upset when I go somewhere for support, and the staff member refers to me, in front of me, using a "reclaimed" historic term of homophobic abuse, without asking me.

I'm not even that old, but for me "queer" is a term of abuse first and foremost when applied directly to an individual, and its use by activists through the twentieth century has mostly rested on that shock value.

I can also see the value of reclaimed words within a community between individuals who know the others are on board with that use (though I have a feeling that many of the people who have "reclaimed" the word are not of the group who would've been targeted with it in the past).

I don't expect a paid support professional to call me queer.

I've never been back, or to any other similar support services, because I don't know now whether I'll get sudden unexpected homophobic slurs thrown at me — these things can be more upsetting when you're expecting an atmosphere of open acceptance, kind of like you're not braced against the possibility.

If you're a female homosexual the TQ+ political lobby would prefer you to say that you're 'queer'. Saying that you're 'lesbian' if you're female implies that you're one of those stroppy exclusionary cows who won't open their legs on command for males. When I say prefer, this request can come with rape and death threats.

yes, you don't get to 'reclaim' queer unless you have actually had it said to you as an insult

I had the impression ‘Queer’ was now the fashionable, arty way to say homosexual.

I wince when I hear that word - what an insult to all those in the 70's, 80's and 90's who were insulted and assulted by those using it. including my poor friend Andy who was set upon and kicked half to death.
Shame on Stonewall.

Not to mention that many L & G people have repeatedly asked for it not to be used as it's a slur with a lot of history to many who aren't bright exciting young things and remember actual oppression.

But the TQ+ politics as per usual have no interest in lived experience or deeply held feelings or language choices of others, only ever of themselves.

I hate the word, it was an insult when I was a child and should be left in the past IMO.

And I'd bet mine that they use the term "Queer" because (1) they think it makes them special and (2) they have no personalities of their own so they have to have an identity.

So Stonewall can make more money by shoving as many people under the queer umbrella, now that boring gays and lesbians have the same rights as everyone.

It can also be a way of rejecting the perceived norms of the LGBT community (racism, sizeism, ableism etc)

Are they perceived norms of the LGBT community?

15,000 people who are "queer" and I'd bet my bottom dollar at least 10,000 of those are straight...