First non-binary priest in C of E

I know that feeling. When the urge you ever feel strongest is for...tea and a nice biscuit

So would I @Boiledbeetle . Endlessly. And my libido has been missing in action for quite some time.

I think he may have had a lockdown assisted health boost, like me! I'm pretty sure he didn't look that good 5 years ago. No matter, he's back and in business. Good for him.

Ideally he'd start delivering training on gender busting. I'd go!

I still would! He's looking good isn't he.

I'm not far from Brighton. I might have to go to his show.

😀

came here partly because I heard there was talk of Adam Ant. I went down a very small rabbit hole and found photos of him in 2019. Still utterly beautiful. I described him as what Johnny Depp wishes he saw in the mirror rather than the misogynist piece of shit he actually seems. Plus, he's 68 and ... be still my beating heart

@IReallyLikeCrows I went down a very small rabbit hole and found photos of him in 2019 pics or it didn't happen

Just sticking my head in to see if still is still calm.....

Yay!

I can't actually focus properly mind having been on angry 😠😠😠 Map watch unto early this morning.

Currently the words won't sit still on my screen....but from what I can focus on I can't see a sea of deleted posts.

2023. Kicking 2022's pert little round bottom!

I came here partly because I heard there was talk of Adam Ant. I went down a very small rabbit hole and found photos of him in 2019. Still utterly beautiful. I described him as what Johnny Depp wishes he saw in the mirror rather than the misogynist piece of shit he actually seems. Plus, he's 68 and ... be still my beating heart.

That out of the way. @Toomie thank you so much for the Rebecca Reilly-Cooper article. She echoes so many of my own thoughts. I also find that with many men who identify as trans or non-binary their notion of feminity is regressive and bears little to no resemblance to what it is to be a woman in the 21st century. It's cosplaying feminity at its most reductive.

@WerewolvesAtMidnight like others I appreciate your candor (sp?) and lack of shouting "you're all bigots!" It's a sadly rare thing. I disagree re non-binary/trans not meaning "I'm better than you." I don't doubt that for many people it isn't that but for too many it is. The invention of cishet is all about creating a different binary where women are still at the bottom. That awful person who performed on the charity edition of Friday Night Live may well have been tongue in cheek but there was something verging on hatred in that song and it had a real impact on me. I went from concerned about the erosion of women's sex based rights to angry that shit like that is normalised. I know that person is not indicative of all trans people or non-binary people but there are too many like that. I actively support anyone's right to live how they choose as long as their choice doesn't hurt others (e.g. I don't support paedophiles, terrorists, serial killers, rapists, etc) but my support for women's rights to safety and privacy will always come first.

I'll stop now but hope to come back tomorrow with more coherent posts.

Anyway. Adam Ant.

Going back a bit (OK, quite a lot):

From birth, and the identification of sex-class membership that happens at that moment, most female people are raised to be passive, submissive, weak and nurturing, while most male people are raised to be active, dominant, strong and aggressive.

Others have covered clothes and their slogans comprehensively, which is one of the more blatant manifestations, but there are a lot of more subtle ones going on when you start looking out for them.

Boys and men being praised for 'leadership' and 'directness' while the same behaviour in girls and women is described as 'bossy' and 'aggressive'.

Schools seating disruptive boys next to girls for their 'calming influence'. Adults making small talk with children tend to compliment a girl on a pretty dress/hair/shoes, but with boys are more likely to ask questions about activities or interests.

The language that people are expected to use - if you look at work emails the ones from men tend to simply state what they want and add a single thanks at the end, while those from women are peppered with please and sorry and just checking and would you mind? I edit a lot of manuals and technical info written by women and even those are full of 'please' when there should be a direct instruction. But if women write emails or comment on documents like men they are perceived as abrasive and (in the case of at least one of my friends, who is a lovely person and always polite and professional) sent on courses to improve their attitude and communication skills.

But this all looks very physical and literal.

Bingo has previously written about their autism, so maybe that’s not so surprising.

I have just seen the photos of Bingo and was struck by the fact that I have never seen an actual female priest/vicar looking over made-up like that. On the contrary, the priests I am thinking of have done everything to neutralise any overt show of ‘vanity’, like puritans would have. I wonder if his wife looks like her husband or she is restrained and modest like most female vicars and vicars’ wives?

That look Bingo has is ridiculously not non-binary. It is stereotypical done up woman ( gone wrong). Bingo seems to have mixed up social cues.

I could completely understand if Bingo came to a realisation that spiritually, or humanistically speaking, in our deepest selves, we are none of us male or female - which people know already basically.

But this all looks very physical and literal.

The Church has and always will attract eccentric souls. But as pp says, I really struggle with the exhibitionism of something that would've been done in someone's personal time.

Is non binary being used here instead of transvestite? There's a lot of pontification from Bingo to justify why he should be calling himself non binary and wearing glittery eyeshadow at work.

I see another picture of Bingo posted himself on social media in a skimpy top with braids, it's all 'look at me'.

The fact that men are wearing women's clothes certainly doesn't help the whole aesthetic as I'm sure the fact that i buy from the menswear dept doesnt help me in my looks like a sack of potatoes aesthetic.

I personally find the side to this that we struggle to talk about in here due to rules and monitors etc the side that is by far a small minority but that small minority seem to have a disproportionate amount of power within the movement, and there is no getting away from the fact that a certain percentage of men derive sexual pleasure from wearing these clothes and then the rabbit hole that takes you down on line, and there isn't enough eye bleach in the world for me.

It's this group that I feel are causing the issues.we know we are props in their sexual fetish played in real time. And they are being allowed to abuse us involuntarily as we didn't consent to take part in the sexual fetish.

The rest of them...live your best life as long as you stay out of single sex spaces and go in the one you are born in in. Because i can't tell the difference between you and the guy who is using me to get his kicks. I'm sad it's got to such a bitter place.

Well I wouldn't go as far as to say clothes are just clothes (as they are designed to fit around male or female bodies), but this isn't about the clothing.

Men like this wear women's clothing to give a feminine appearance (I heard a story on a podcast about a man who would be excited by a plain t-shirt that was exactly the same as a men's one but just said "women's" on it), even then I'm not fussed over it.

Rather previously men would have been embarrassed about these stories coming out in public, a threat to their masculinity (even though they like escaping it in private), I even saw a men being physically sick on RuPaul's Drag Race because he was dressed up.

Now there is exhibitionism around it, I think a delusion gained from people on social media saying "how great" he looks. What would've once been detrimental to someone's social standing, is now used as a way to climb up that ladder.

Despite my childhood I do have amazing memories of the freedoms we had in that era that in many ways do not exist now. And with the world in your hand 24 7 the pressures to find yourself and your place in a world where you are no longer just competing with your contemporaries in your town but the while world.

I don't think we can comprehend the psychological effect of that, but then nor can the current young generation as it's all they know.

Whereas we talked to friends then went home and maybe talked things just with parents to make sense of stuff these kids just go on line for confirmination and end up in the grip of an algorithm that may have originally given them a wrong answer to a badly worded question and they trust what they are seeing i's true and correct a there is little critical thinking required when you never have to think about how to get anything. You just press an app and it happens.

It's frightening

Ah, you're all making me feel old - the 80's were indeed excellent, but if you go back a bit to the 70's, you've got Lou Reed's Walk on the Wild Side on the radio, David Bowie in a dress, and all the glam rockers in glitter, make up and platform boots.

Aha my first get on a bus to a different city with older sister concert. Happy memories

Mags might

I mean tablet.

Morton Harket? Will that sweeten the temper of your laptop?

My tablet is glitching and f or a brief moment only gave angry 😠 type faces

😁

Well it was successful for a while, to be fair.

Ah ha!