Am I a TERF?

Actually whilst I'm in this thread anyone any good at creating questionnaires?

I feel our new member won't be the only refugee once people are back to work and the women of Scotland get talking to each other properly for the first time since the vote.

We might need something to streamline the process so we can do a basic triage assessment with regards shock and horror of being a terf whilst we feed them tea and biscuits.

Then later once the shock has worn off we can do a more in-depth check in where their head is with the whole be kind to the man in a frock, sex is a spectrum, a piece of paper means you LITERALLY change sex stuff.

Agree with this.

I've had that tried on me. "TW are real women".

What's a real woman then?

Because that's a demand to repeat a comforting lie to sooth a male ego, and that's the limit of it.

Frankly OP, if you don't believe in the sex based inferiority of women, don't believe in the subordination of women and children's rights and safety and protections to male whims and sexual freedoms, or don't believe in compelled speech and performance of some with criminal punishment to serve special others with more rights than others, or believe in lies set in our legal system?Then yes, you're a Terf. And why worry about it. If you did believe in those things you'd have a much bigger problem.

I completely get that! & I agree. I don’t like to called CIS. I’m female. I’m a woman.

@PurplePalms oh that sentence proves it 100% TERF.

😁welcome to your new home.

Oh, but we do have one rule from the off@PurplePalms

Don't mention CIS. It's rage inducing in here and there are enough of us with hot flushes as it is without getting us more heated under the collar.

Welcome to the tervern. Come in, take off your coat, get comfy. Thou could be here a while.

Drink? biscuit? Cake? I've still got some crackers and a slither of cheese left.

Most people are TERFs. No one actually believes TWAW however much they shout it. They are simply lying for what could be a number of reasons.

As a woman who struggles with suspected endometriosis, fertility shit like this upsets me.

Your understanding of what it means to be a woman is grounded in reality, in biology.

No transwoman can ever have that. For a trans person it is all about belief.

Everybody has the right to their own beliefs, but nobody has the right to impose their beliefs upon others.

& it’s probably a very small percentage of trans women who behave like this.

Don't know. But some of the loudest, most aggressive people who behave like this are not trans themselves, but are the TRAs, the Trans Rights Activists. More accurately, they are MRAs, Male Rights Activists, busily handing over to men anything women have - even the ability to name ourselves.

Part of me feels awful for feeling this way. Like I am a bad person. Obviously I would never say to her face “you are not a real woman” never in a million years would I want to cause someone upset, start drama etc. Am I a terf? Do I sound awful?

Is it feminine socialisation that makes us make excuses for others? It is certainly feminine socialisation that leads us us think we must move aside so as not to upset others. You do not sound awful. You sound realistic.

So he doesn't know?

Even though you were born genetically male and (most likely) have male genitalia- you can’t be a real woman? You can’t possibly understand how it feels to be a woman. Hormonally, emotionally, physically and socially.

You're totally right. Transwomen are transwomen. They have their own struggles, but they have no idea of what it's like to be born and raised a girl, and live as a woman. They cannot ever know this, as they're male.

Terf is just a word. It's used to silence women and men who are brave enough to speak the truth about reality.
It's meaningless, pointless and neither a badge of honour or shame. Like curses, it only works if you believe in them, and I don't. I don't believe any of the gender ideology stuff, it's not my religion.

That doesn't make me a bad person. It doesn't make us evil genocidal maniacs.

Maybe your "terfs are bad" attitude could do with a bit of honest self evaluation now, huh?

Was your male family Member openly gay before this person came on the scene?

Yes you are a bit of a TERF. And it is a slur. But like anything it has to be owned. Most TERFs are actually MERFS, or, simply reject gender woowoo entirely.

I don't know if you're a 'terf', OP. It possibly depends on what your views are on other radical feminist issues, like prostitution, porn, male violence, etc.

You're correct that it's now used as a derogatory, sexist slur, rather than its original descriptive meaning.

Are you a terf? Yes. Does this make you a horrible person? No. It just means you don't think the earth is flat.

Can I ask if this person was living as a male but was female? Or you saw pre-transition pics ?

I just feel a bit sad, as TERF, to me, is a very negative and venomous adjective.

well, that’s why it’s used, isn’t it?

because most people don’t actually think TWAW/TMAM but they have no problem with trans people and have a live and let live attitude, there has to be some way for MRAs to demonise women. Calling them (and making to em concerned about being called) Terf is a great way to shut kind people up and then say “no one agrees with you horrors!”

your relative’s partner may not be like this, they may respect your views and prefer to not really discuss it. But that’s the power of words like terf/bigot/transphobe. They shut women up. They’re used by specific people for a specific reason.

there are no cis people btw. just people - male or female

Sometimes there used to be contestant on Britain's Got Talent who really couldn't sing. But no one had told them, perhaps because everyone around them was trying to be kind and not break the awful news to them.

Denying reality isn't kind. It's neither kind nor unkind to say that humans can't change sex: it's simply telling the truth. Forcing everyone to be complicit in other people's delusions about themselves can only end in tears.