Keep letting it out here!

So I've just put my self in a time out as I can't say what I want to on a thread without getting banned So I'm letting out out here

THE FALL AND RISE OF WOMAN

DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCREAM?
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCREAM
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCREA
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCRE
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCR
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SC
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME S
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME
DOES ANYONE HEAR M
DOES ANYONE HEAR
DOES ANYONE HEA
DOES ANYONE HE
DOES ANYONE H
DOES ANYONE
DOES ANYON
DOES ANYO
DOES ANY
DOES AN
DOES A
DOES
DOE
DO
D
DO
DOE
DOES
DOES A
DOES AN
DOES ANY
DOES ANYO
DOES ANYON
DOES ANYONE
DOES ANYONE H
DOES ANYONE HE
DOES ANYONE HEA
DOES ANYONE HEAR
DOES ANYONE HEAR M
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME S
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SC
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCR
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCRE
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCREA
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCREAM
DOES ANYONE HEAR ME SCREAM?

WE DO

HEAR OUR SCREAM

WOMEN WON'T WHEEST

REAL WOMEN VISIT TOILETS IN GROUPS

We have to pass the gents, and are scared, of the men who lurk by the door
With their cocks out, quite freely, in all their galore.

So we wait, until there's six of us, and all go as a team
Because also, in the ladies, the woman aren't as kind as they might seem.

They have a go. They tut, or scream. And can sound rather shrill
as they look in shock, at my cock, as I get my sexual thrill.

Of course, we have been offered new third spaces, to be accommodating
But we've screwed our nose at those, as they aren't exactly validating.

But have no fear, us real woman, have one more card to play
If we are really really desperate we'll pee anywhere anyway.

Because we aren't actually really scared. We just like getting our sexual kicks
From intimidating women with our beautiful lady dicks.

Came for the tea, stayed for a poem or two

Boiledbeetle's tea bag poem informed me of this thread
With a warning to be kind if I'd like to keep my head
I need be careful with my words for this post to live
So "NIcola you FUCKING CUNT, those rights weren't yours to give"

Now I'm here because the klaxon sounded on a thread
The words writ large, in bigly letters, designed to kill it dead
The regular amongst us break and nip to the off-licence
Whist the TRA sits wondering about literal

CLITORAL VIOLENCE

IT'S MY PUSSY GET YOUR HANDS OFF

I suspect OP enticed him with her famous mouse curry
Well, he's handsome, and luscious, and all soft and furry

He went off to OPs to help write a poem
But OP I do miss him, so tell him "Get going"

Then I can get back to being sat at my table
And write the best poems that I'm possibly able

But I can't just yet as I've got really cold feet
I need the cat here, to lie on them, I need his heat

Mister Fluff get yourself home, you dirty stop out.
Then I can go back to doing some "Nicola shout"

See, I need my cat, won't someone think of my pussy!

@TerfranosaurusVagina Have you been doing my cats dictation again?

Send him home will you I need him to warm my toes

if you see me anywhere tell me to go bed The head is pounding.

night night

My personal slave
Her excuses gave
Her head is splitting
(From feathers spitting,
Her magnificent stance
On renaming nonce
Has made me quite proud
Though don't quote me aloud)

My Beetle she begs
Someone like LangCleg
Can write us a verse -
The wait has got terse
Queer men in a frock,
With pronouns to mock;
Nic's ears to scorch;
l pass on her torch.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

🍫now you've got the video to the right spot...chocolate?

and

💜for the poem.

So, how did this year pan out? or had you already had too much sherry and fell asleep five minutes in and snored til the end of the video until the bells rang for 2024 woke you

2023: Paused in right place 🍾

Happy 2023,
Nicola, I say to ye,
please stop talking shite,
supporting pervs in plain sight,
Make your new year resolution be,
to protect women like you and me.

It is with great sorrow that I have to inform you of the loss of life of Corporal Tea Bag in a friendly fire incident during the writing of the last post.

After pressing post I returned to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and discovered that in my haste to be witty I accidentally left the box of tea bags open and Corporal Bag, having decided to identify as a teaspoon, accidentally fell into the boiled cup of water that was unattended on the counter top.

I take full responsibility for this wasteful and totally unnecessary loss of life. I apologise to his family and friends and absolutely guarantee that lessons have been learnt.

Going forward safeguarding of vulnerable confused members of our community will be our top priority.

RIP CORPORAL TEA BAG

This post is sponsored by the poster's love of Yorkshire Tea.

Many tea bags lost their life in the writing of this this poem and post and we should pause a moment to remember the gallantry of those that have fallen (into the cup of boiled water).

So, as I start on my, God knows but quite a lot and I'm not going to count the used bags blghhhh, nth cup of tea this morning. I remembered a poem that I used over the summer to blag some free tea bags, (it worked 240 of their wonderful paper bags of absolute heaven).

So with some slight tweaks to make it more topical I give you

PAPER BAGS - An ode to Yorkshire Tea

MY PERFECT MAN

Potent
Agreeable
Pleasant
Elegant
Reliable

Bronzed
Accommodating
Gorgeous
Superlative

Huh! Who knew!

My perfect man identifies as a Yorkshire Tea bag.

You having trouble with the video remote, it's impossible to get it to stop at the right point. You need to fast forward a tadge.

We will wait.

Can't wait for you to regale us with what happened this year.

Lottery numbers, you remembered to make a note of all this year's stunning and brave winning numbers right?

Happy 2022 🤣

FINAL PUSH

There is 600 left to go
To show how the anger does grow
The women are pissed
Because Nicola hissed
You are so much lesser than a man
So can we do this? Yes we can

Because

WOMEN WON'T WHEEST

Shit already? I thought I only dozed off for a minute.

Have you been at the sherry🍷

2024 Happy new year!

Happy New Year

Happy new year and good night

Ooh bonus I've just realised that having read the poem with brackets bit, if you then read it again and ignore the bracketed but it only bloody does rhyme, and scans OK.

Bonus

And only minutes into the new year and I'm already winning at life. Plus I've got a purring cat acting as a foot warmer.

Life is good.

night night

Boiled

HAPPY New year all xxx

Love it, Boiledbeetle. Wishing you a fantastic 2023.

You'll probably like this, from the wonderful women at FWS

(P.S. I sort of feel like we should have a special handshake or signal for women won't wheesht - a bit like the Mockingjay symbol in the Hunger Games).

I'm slightly early with this but...

My fellow WOMEN of the mumsnet FWR boards.

I've been busy ranting at paedophile apologists this evening, lovely way to see out a shitty year. It was very cathartic, as Clitoral Violence will confirm as she witnessed in real time, and PMs.

So I've not had much time for poems this evening. But I did come up with a very quick one, completely none rhyming, very wordy (rather like this sentence) one for your drunk/hungover/stone cold sober/high reading delight.

But before you get the good stuff, no not the poem I mean tea and paracetamol and a volume button for the kids...

To a lot of women on here you won't know me or have interacted with me but this board, like it does for many of you on here really helps keep me sane and entertained through the day but most especially through those hours in the stupid o'clock where only burglars should be awake.

Sleep alludes me as it probably does you, for many different reasons. But you wonderful lot help the hours go much quicker. Although you do play havoc on my pelvic floor, so altogether now, clench.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL

Right my poem, and then I really truly probably maybe should at least try to go to bed, and sleep. Hahahahahahahaha! I'm so funny!I

2023

Same as. Nope, not having it. We are not starting a new year in a defeatest mood. Let's try again.

2023

Better than 2022 because many many, oh hell Nicola what have you unleashed?

Many more women have absolutely merkinly (over a million views, won a terfie, although I'm not sure if it went to Elaine or the merkin) decided that

WOMEN WONT WHEEST

Boiledbeetle x

I can show you the world
Stunning, sinister, slimy
Tell me, Beetle, which rhymy
Is most accurate in this?

You can avert your eyes
Close your ears to their thunder
Even so, know the under-
World's new fad is Trans and Cis

A whole new year
An old fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Their pronoun's Ceaux
Or say be kind, you bigot...

😏🤐😎

And even biglylettersmum was impressed!