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Original poster

pronoun advice

37 replies

ginslinger · 13/12/2022 15:16

I am part of a mentoring programme for university undergraduates. I am doing this in a voluntary capacity and the person who is running the programme is someone I am loosely friendly with, we have lots of mutuals. This year I have lost 2 friends because of my gender critical stance and I am tired and disappointed with much of it.
I have had some guidance about the mentoring programme and introducing my self to my mentee; part of this guidance is that we should share pronouns. I have written to my mentee and told her my name and some details about myself but have ignored the issue of pronouns. If this pronoun thing gets pushed is there a way that I can say that I don't want to do this without having a huge transphobic label stuck to me and lose even more of my network? I have some memory that making people declare their pronouns puts them in a shaky position if they don't want to do this and I was wondering if I could fall back on this - I know it's a bit of a weasely way out but I'm honestly fed up to the back teeth. I don't know how those of you who work in education cope with this

OP posts:
SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 13/12/2022 16:29

And it isn't only lately. If you have a look you'll find a few years worth of discussion about gender ideology and preferred pronouns.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 13/12/2022 16:28

momtoboys · 13/12/2022 16:21

I have seen several threads similar to this one around lately. I do not mean to be rude but I don't understand the hesitancy of telling someone your preferred pronouns? If you identify as female, why don't you want to make that clear?

Because I don't identify as a woman I am a woman

Because I think Gender Ideology is ludicrous, science free, fluffy thinking

Because no matter the source forced speech, anti scientific blather is something to be refuted, not embraced.

Because the upshot of Gender Ideology is inherently dangerous to women's rights and women as individuals

And not forgetting, pronouns are only ever used in my absence. Why the hell would I want to force people to use words that do not identify me? That only cause anxiety, are forced, untrue, utter bollocks?

Original poster
ginslinger · 13/12/2022 16:27

Thanks everyone - there's some interesting things to think about there. Hopefully I've squashed it for now. I do worry about the state of universities these days.

OP posts:
Original poster
ginslinger · 13/12/2022 16:26

momtoboys · 13/12/2022 16:21

I have seen several threads similar to this one around lately. I do not mean to be rude but I don't understand the hesitancy of telling someone your preferred pronouns? If you identify as female, why don't you want to make that clear?

I don't identify as female, I am female. Frankly if someone did make a mistake a thought that I was male then I'd explain that I wasn't. Although you would have to be pretty obtuse. I use indicators such as a sex-specific title in front of my name to show that I'm a woman.

OP posts:
eurochick · 13/12/2022 16:22

momtoboys · 13/12/2022 16:21

I have seen several threads similar to this one around lately. I do not mean to be rude but I don't understand the hesitancy of telling someone your preferred pronouns? If you identify as female, why don't you want to make that clear?

Because many women don't "identify as female". They are just of the female sex.

isthewashingdryyet · 13/12/2022 16:22

I am female , I don’t identify

momtoboys · 13/12/2022 16:21

I have seen several threads similar to this one around lately. I do not mean to be rude but I don't understand the hesitancy of telling someone your preferred pronouns? If you identify as female, why don't you want to make that clear?

JellySaurus · 13/12/2022 16:20

She doesn't want to out herself as GC.

I don't think any of this pronoun-wankery has legitimacy, so I don't think that quoting the neo-religion's bible back at them gives it any more legitimacy. And if it gives the other person pause for thought, maybe they will also see the wankery for what it is.

BellaAmorosa · 13/12/2022 16:16

Forgot to add, you may indeed lose people from your network, but equally you may find you are not the only one who thinks as you do. And if people drop you, it just means they would have dropped you at some point anyway.

This may not be all that helpful but I'm In A Mood today.

BellaAmorosa · 13/12/2022 16:13

I would say don't quote Yogykarta principles because it gives legitimacy to the entitled ramblings of a self-selected group of Men's Rights Activists.
Contact sex-matters.org/ - I think they have a guide.

My inclination would be a firm no and, if they persist in demanding you do the pronouns thing, tell them to stop trying to compel your speech and thought - you have more important things to focus on, like your actual mentoring.

JellySaurus · 13/12/2022 15:59

Quote Principle 6 from the Yogyakarta Principles, The Right to Privacy, at them.

f) Ensure the right of all persons ordinarily to choose when, to whom and how to disclose information pertaining to their sexual orientation or gender identity, and protect all persons from arbitrary or unwanted disclosure, or threat of disclosure of such information by others.

The Yogyakarta Principles is a sort of trans manifesto, expressing what a small group of trans-identified people want the governments of all countries to enshrine in their laws. It has absolutely no legal validity, but is the source document for trans-inclusivity.

Velvetbee · 13/12/2022 15:22

‘I don’t try to dictate how other people talk about me because that’s weird.’

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