Sexual choking is now so common that many young people don’t think it even requires consent. That’s a problem

A medical article I read in 2019 stated that the harmful effects of being strangled during sex sometimes only appear after a week or two, and that those include an increased stroke risk.

I am also fairly certain that what is discussed here is being strangled during sex, not choked, but perhaps the usage has changed.

Exactly, it's so bizarre. I think some men don't even know why they do it either other than mimicking what they've seen in porn because that's how they've "learned sex". It's rendered them incapable of developing an original sexuality based on empathy and imagination. On top of that, porn is like another universe where suddenly everyone's incapable of critical thought and rampant misogyny goes unchecked. So men and women unthinkingly go along with these abusive acts.

This is one of the things (just one, I also have no opportunity right now anyway) that's putting me off getting out there and dating again - I just want nice, pleasant, mutually enjoyable sex. I don't want to be strangled or slapped .

The thing is, the bolshy bit of me says that if these men want this, they should go first, but then the voice in my head says that I don't want to strangle anyone. And I just don't understand why anyone would.

You never hear of female auto asphyxiation gone wrong. If women enjoyed the actual experience, rather than the experience of pleasing the man, surely you would?

I was watching a Netflix series, ‘Locke and Key’ and there was a sexual strangulation scene. The female bad/evil character had this done to her by a man, then she took control to do this to him resulting in his deliberate death. I was shocked as this was billed as a 15 (happy to be corrected) and watching with my teens, both comfortably over 16. It was the fact the act was quite casually initiated by the man in a random encounter, it was very disturbing. It was never mentioned in the program. Didn’t add to the story, except to cement her as evil but this had been established.

Mumsnet supported the successful campaign to legislate against this abhorrent practice and the wonderful women who led the We can't consent to this campaign.

www.mumsnet.com/news/mumsnet-joins-we-cant-consent-to-this-campaign#:~:text=We%20Can't%20Consent%20To%20This%20aims%20to%20change%20the,a%20couple%20of%20years%20ago.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/sep/07/darlington-man-jailed-for-four-years-for-choking-woman-during-sex

It has already happened. The man who killed her only got sentenced for 4 years and the woman cannot testify as to whether it was consensual or not because she is dead.

Consent for these "kinks" is used by men to justify their abuse and violence towards women. How can a woman consent to self-harm and how can that supposed consent not be questioned?

If a woman asked a man to strangle her in a non-sexual scenario, most men would say no. How does sex make this consent issue any different?

It’s a very dangerous practice. It used to be rather more common - am I allowed to say this- amongst men as an auto erotic practice. Better not say who, but forty years ago a landowner was found strangled in a wardrobe where he had been hanging himself whilst……you can fill this in for yourself.

Its only a matter of time before some poor girl is killed by this practice.

I get so angry! And that doesn’t help either.
All I can think of doing is talking about it to the younger people, men as well as women. They will cringe… Tough.

I just get so sad at being a girl or woman today. I know being sad doesn't help. But I am.

Sounds horrible. I wonder if there is also a rise in young men being choked by women in sex. I suspect not. It's a violence thing not a sexual pleasure thing.