How to avoid / decline stating pronouns or gender in meetings, forms, signatures etc:

Personally I think we need to move away from this veneration of the pronoun not encourage it. How are pronouns deeply personal? In this context they are just words that people use in place of a person’s name. I suspect most people didn’t even know what a pronoun was 15 years ago and it’s absurd that in such a short space of time they’ve become a tool to manipulate and control other people’s language to the point where, in some countries, you are at risk of criminal conviction by not using the “correct” pronouns.

The problem with "I don't mind how I'm referred to" is that I would mind if someone referred to me as anything other than she, because I am a woman. I would be insulted. So it isn't true to say. However, I would not want to be compelled to use language I understand to be false. I would probably say I'm not on board with sharing pronouns and leave it at that. I am noting the words true and false in this post. These are meaningful words to me.

I just ignore. If it’s a meeting where we’re going around the table saying who we are, I give my name (and affiliation if relevant) and nothing more. I’ve never been challenged. If I were, I would say I didn’t feel
comfortable.

Why would I lie? My best friends child is going through this exact struggle at the moment and their pronouns (or anyones) is no one else’s business. It’s a deeply personal matter and no one has a right to demand what another person’s pronouns are.

But that would be part of my reason for not. I have multiple reasons for not adding my pronouns. Would take a while to list them all.

If people want to, they can. If they don't want to, they shouldn't have to explain it.

Many people will know adding pronouns is a trans thing and if they don't, they are likely to be confused about the question. Their ignorance of the issue will be obvious.

If somebody pushes the point IMO they would be seeking to label you transphobic. I am not transphobic.

Yes I agree

Because why play the silly game?

Followed by a shrug...

Anything wrong with just saying "I'm a 'she', obviously"?

Or explain what a pronoun is. In the way. Reception teacher would explain it to a 4 year old (and with a look of slight exasperation and pity).

"it's not a practice I follow"

Which reminds me, I saw a form recently that avoided the sex/gender issue by asking the question "What are you?" followed by the options male/female/other. Respondents could interpret it to mean sex or gender without the question setter tying themselves in knots trying to navigate the thorny issue. I thought it rather clever.

WTF. What are you????
I find that incredibly rude and stupid. I'd be going with other and writing unicorn or witch or something.

I'm up north but it's started around here. I asked some fellow local terfs if they felt there was a suddenly change just this year and they too felt there'd suddenly been a great deal more young visibly trans people. Mainly transmen. All hitting the work place. One woman said she'd heard a lot of grumbling at her gym around pronouns etc. as it's now becoming so much more if a thing at the local business level.

Which reminds me, I saw a form recently that avoided the sex/gender issue by asking the question "What are you?" followed by the options male/female/other. Respondents could interpret it to mean sex or gender without the question setter tying themselves in knots trying to navigate the thorny issue. I thought it rather clever.

Yes, but the data collected would be unclear. Unless, it's a box ticking exercise, in which case, they wouldn't care.

On forms: If gender is clearly a synonym for sex (i.e. choice is male or female) I fill it in. For other options I put none or N/A or write in sex depending on format.

IRL: I live up North so it's never happened. I met an alphabet person for the first time the other day: multiple pronoun badges, pink and blue hair- the works.

I have seriously entertained the thought of putting he/him on my email whilst changing absolutely nothing about myself (I’m quite obviously female and wear skirts, etc.) If you subscribe to gender ideology surely you then have to believe in what people state to be their pronouns even if it goes against very obvious visual evidence, so logically nobody could complain, surely? I really like the idea of everyone struggling to remember to refer to me as “he” behind my back. Would I suddenly get paid on the scale of my male colleagues? Or get listened to in meetings?

However, how long do you bet it would be before my boss complained that I shouldn’t be doing it or that it was offensive and faking the piss? Because when actual women women, the boring old fashioned kind over 25, do stuff like that, they tend to get reprimanded pretty sharply. Going about making everyone call you something that is obviously false is only for men, and girls when they are young enough to be unthreatening.

I'm very tempted to start saying he/him and hope someone mistakes me for a transwoman and gives me a payrise

And if you felt like it, after ....anyone in the process of transitioning

you could add 'or those who don't subscribe to Gender Ideology /are Gender Critical' (Thank you Maya!)

No thank you. It is an individual's right to choose when and whether they disclose any information about their gender identity, as made clear in the Right to Privacy of the Yogyakarta Principles on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity. I would ask you also to respect Principle 6(f) by not arbitrarily disclosing the pronouns of others, either.

Bit of a mouthful, though. :-)

I haven't been asked in person yet, but if I were, I'd probably look puzzled while I worked out what a pronoun is (we weren't taught that level of English grammar at school) and then have a lightbulb moment and say "I, me, mine". If pushed for third person pronouns, and after working out what they are, wonder aloud why I would want to tell other people how to refer to me, other than getting my name right.

Based on your second para, I quite like "I don't follow that belief system".

Email signature not an issue at my current employer. Some people include pronouns but it isn't encouraged by management as standard. There would be very strong pushback from some areas of our org if they tried. If I were ever asked, I'd say that unless there is a practical reason for an individual to include pronouns (eg unisex or unfamiliar foreign name) then including pronouns as an act of support is a political statement, which wouldn't be allowed for a religious or political declaration.

Forms are easier. If asked gender, either select "Other" or if free text box "I don't have a gender. My sex is female."

Which reminds me, I saw a form recently that avoided the sex/gender issue by asking the question "What are you?" followed by the options male/female/other. Respondents could interpret it to mean sex or gender without the question setter tying themselves in knots trying to navigate the thorny issue. I thought it rather clever.

"I have no opinion about pronouns"

In my particular department of the Civil Service, its starting to fade away. I've been doing a lot of training and awareness-type meetings recently, and haven't been asked for my pronouns once. Noone has asked any of us to put pronouns in our email signatures. So, in my department at least, its starting to die a natural death.

I've never been in this situation and don't think it's likely in the near future, but my pronouns are first person and therefore irrelevant to anyone else. I would expect other people to refer to me using perceived sex-based pronouns and I wouldn't ask or expect anyone to do otherwise.

Ignore as a first line of defence.

No thank you with a smile as second option.

Third option 'That's against my belief system', also with a smile. If they ask what your belief system is I would go with 'science'.