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Original poster

What have people done when asked pronouns? (but are not trans ideologists)

185 replies

newbookonshelf · 13/11/2022 14:22

I've never been asked my pronouns but I wonder what I would say if I was. I WFH so never come up. I think I may say 'none' , 'you pick' , or maybe 'the' or simply 'what do you mean?'

So I'm just wondering how people do respond to this if they are not gender/trans ideologists. I'm looking for examples and what happened when you said it.

OP posts:
SidewaysOtter · 13/11/2022 20:19

“No, thank you”.

I’ll leave it to them to work out whether that’s a statement or my pronouns Grin

JanieAllen · 13/11/2022 20:13

Yeah I had 'Your Imperial Majesty' on my twitter profile.... long story but I'm regent for my niece who is the Future Empress of the Universe but currently occupied with riding and Strictly.

YouDoIDo · 13/11/2022 19:54

my boss tried this one I said my pronoun was her majesty she was not impressed.

MangyInseam · 13/11/2022 19:41

The first time I was asked I just gave them, though I rather regret it now, I was so surprised.

Subsequently I have just never done it, although I've never been asked so directly again. I think I would just go with "I don't care" or "use whatever you think is appropriate".

JacquelinePot · 13/11/2022 19:37

At my last job one of the younglings suggested we get everyone to do it because "inclusive". I said no thanks, I won't be doing that. At least, not until we've solved sexism.

Original poster
newbookonshelf · 13/11/2022 19:03

God I'd love to meet some women like this in day to day life.

OP posts:
PriOn1 · 13/11/2022 18:57

boddidoil · 13/11/2022 18:11

I couldn't even envisage anyone asking me that question to my face. I'm old(ish) and a little intimidating. If any poor soul did ask me that question, then I would let rip. The usual - 'of course it's 'she' you absolute tool, I've been a woman all my life, do I not look like a woman, why am I being asked this, I've been on this planet (X) number of decades, why has the world gone fucking mad ... ' and so on.

My daughter, young, not intimidating, but definitely self-confident rolled her eyes, indicated her body and said “I’m a woman, obviously” in a tone that indicated scorn.

CousinKrispy · 13/11/2022 18:41

I just don't bother stating mine and have never been questioned about it.

If I am, I'll just point out that surely it's most inclusive to have a mixture, as some gender nonconforming people won't be comfortable having to state pronouns, so I'm ensuring that the group has a mixture of pronoun staters and non-staters.

Walkingtheplank · 13/11/2022 18:22

I think in a group setting you can get away with omiting it - and then everyone else follows.

Put in the spot, I'd just say, " I dont do that"

What I'd like to say to some of the idiots in my organisation with pronouns in their email signature is "FFS, at least chose a subject/object pronoun rather than a possessive pronoun". You'd almost think they'd not heard of pronouns before 🙄

Jewel1968 · 13/11/2022 18:20

My pronoun is 'I'.

I can't be responsible for what pronouns others use. Can I?

See how often I used 'I' there.

DrDinosaur · 13/11/2022 18:13

I would say that I don’t care how other people refer to me when I’m not there. If I was feeling stroppy I’d say I generally use sex based pronouns for everyone, as I don’t believe in gender ideology or compelled speech.

Meagainalready · 13/11/2022 18:13

FluffyCat17 · 13/11/2022 17:47

‘Gender is a social construct rooted in misogyny and my right to that belief is protected under the Equalities Act’.

It’s a bit long-winded I know and I haven’t been asked yet, just quietly not added them to my email unlike practically everyone else at my work. On a zoom training we were encouraged to add them to our screen name but nobody chased me when I didn’t.

I am still looking for a punchier one. I do like fck and orf.

I actually like yours!
I am also dodging the email police and hoping it doesn’t become an issue.

boddidoil · 13/11/2022 18:11

I couldn't even envisage anyone asking me that question to my face. I'm old(ish) and a little intimidating. If any poor soul did ask me that question, then I would let rip. The usual - 'of course it's 'she' you absolute tool, I've been a woman all my life, do I not look like a woman, why am I being asked this, I've been on this planet (X) number of decades, why has the world gone fucking mad ... ' and so on.

FrippEnos · 13/11/2022 18:02

Go for

"compelling the use of pronouns is forcing people in to the uncomfortable position of outing themselves or forcing them to stay hidden, I therefore refuse to be part of making people uncomfortable."

Truthlikeness · 13/11/2022 17:57

There're always - 'no thank you'.

FluffyCat17 · 13/11/2022 17:47

‘Gender is a social construct rooted in misogyny and my right to that belief is protected under the Equalities Act’.

It’s a bit long-winded I know and I haven’t been asked yet, just quietly not added them to my email unlike practically everyone else at my work. On a zoom training we were encouraged to add them to our screen name but nobody chased me when I didn’t.

I am still looking for a punchier one. I do like fck and orf.

Alienbigcat45 · 13/11/2022 17:30

I've never been asked but I would like to think I'd say 'he/him, when do I get my rise?'

TheBitterBoy · 13/11/2022 17:03

I had to fill in a form for the charity I volunteer for and there was a box for my pronouns. The staff member administering the form has pronouns in her email signature so I was aware she is all in favour of such things. I left the box blank in the end, and no comment was made.

Most of the volunteers are older retired ladies and most of them left it blank too, one of two queried why they were asking, got a very waffly 'inclusivity' explanation, and also left the box blank, none the wiser.

Painterpallette · 13/11/2022 17:03

'Eh?'

GlassDeli · 13/11/2022 16:03

'I don't have any.' Same with star signs, I don't have one.

Teamsaction · 13/11/2022 16:00

I was asked by my DN while playing Barbie's. I just said this Barbie doesn't believe in gender so just use the one corresponding to her sex but I felt abit silly and wished I'd made up one instead.

Fantina · 13/11/2022 16:00

I once said ‘I do not support that ideology and I don’t think it is appropriate to be asked this question in the workplace’

the external trainer looked like a goldfish for a while and then carried on around the circle. I’d say the majority of people after me did not state their pronouns.

Original poster
newbookonshelf · 13/11/2022 16:00

Yes I don't "Identify as female" because I don't need to.

OP posts:
Original poster
newbookonshelf · 13/11/2022 15:58

What if you did "she/he" ?

OP posts:
Original poster
newbookonshelf · 13/11/2022 15:58

Schlaar · 13/11/2022 15:53

I offer male pronouns and watch people stumbling over themselves trying to refer to me correctly.

I like it.

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