What have people done when asked pronouns? (but are not trans ideologists)

Also I'm not lucky enough to have a job where there's no risk of being disciplined for wrongspeak.

Understood. I don't find that easy to do. It's so hard when it affects those close to you.

We shouldn't need to give our pronouns. They are she/her for us females and he/him for the rest. Stop with this bollocks!!!!! 😡

Of course. Why would I enforce cognitive dissonance on myself and pretend I see a reality that I don't see? It takes up excess neuro power and over time will affect my mental health and my ability to discern the true from the false. What purpose would that serve me or my daughters, friends and colleagues?

I have ignored being asked to put pronouns on my email signature. As have all of my colleagues except my TRA manager.

I have not yet been asked verbally but I have decided to say "No thank you, I don't have a gender identity". Even my TRA manager can't tell me off for that as by her own logic not having a gender identity makes me agender and therefore trans so part of the oppressed group.

Even if it was your daughter, friend or colleague? And they were in earshot?

Don't have the time or headspace for this kind of narcissism in anyone.

I think this point about headspace is really important. It would be really draining and mentally hard to remember that person x who you work with and that - to all intents and purposes - your brain processes as male, in fact views themselves as female and so wants to be called ‘she’.

It reminds me of the picture of that dress that went viral a few years ago and some people saw it as silver and blue, others as grey and pink. You can’t just force yourself to see what you don’t see, and if your brain tells you you’re seeing a bloke then it would be hugely mentally draining to constantly override that perfectly sensible and logical thought.

Yes, exactly.

It's a case of trans-identified people (whatever that means) not passing as the opposite sex or non-binary (whatever that means), and they are being correctly observed by others to be their actual sex rather than the "gender" thing in their mind; and them trying to order everyone else to Be Told.

No. Don't have the time or headspace for this kind of narcissism in anyone.

Well yes, if TW literally were W or passed as W everyone would use the pronouns typically used for W.

The fact they have to force people and declare pronouns says it all really.

I wonder whether transwomen and transmen like declaring their pronouns? I always think, surely if you go to all the trouble of presenting yourself as the opposite sex in dress, voice and mannerisms, taken hormones and maybe even had surgery, you'd hope people would automatically use the pronouns you prefer. I think declaring pronouns has been introduced by those who are not actually trans but want to signal their adherence to gender ideology and by non binary people for whom the only identifying feature of being non binary is telling everyone how special they are and giving them an excuse to bang on about how marginalized they are if anyone (shock, horror) misgenders them.

I'm a born female. I don't have a womany sense of self in the same way that I understand cis- and trans- women do.

What pronouns can I use to indicate my natal sex, which is important to my identity, without falsely claiming alignment to a mental gender I do not in honesty feel?

TIA

not been asked in a work situation - on a (health?) form recently I just put a cross through ‘gender’ - and wrote ‘sex’ female.

No thank you is the correct response I believe…

Well I was a bit awkward when the midwife asked and just said I'm a woman. She said happy to use she/her? And I just said yes. I wish I'd said something like I don't care what you call me when I'm not there. Or use the obvious ones but in fairness I guess that's what she did. If it was in a work situation I think I would be evasive, I certainly won't be adding to email signature or anything silly like that

I don’t subscribe to gender woo, but something that always puzzles me is this:
You are in a seminar or a business meeting, and the chairperson asks for everyone’s pronouns.
Let’s say the thirty trendy people present answer with a different one each, from xi and fae to wrong sex he/she.
How the fuck is anybody in the meeting supposed to remember which nonsensical pronoun is wanted by which member? And who cares?

Seeing as pronouns in emails are rife in my organisation I think it’s only a matter of time before I’m asked in a meeting. I plan to look a little puzzled then say something like “Well I’m female so she/her will do thanks”. Or just ignore the question completely.

If they do not tell you... you use sex-based pronouns, like the majority of the world have been using since (English) language was 'invented'!

how on earth did people communicate pre ca. 2005?!

Names are used more often than pronouns for sure and is a great way to not misgender someone. But sometimes pronouns are used and if we don't know them, because the person chose not to share or we haven't asked yet, then they/them is the default.

The default pronouns that the vast majority of people actually use to refer to people are 'he' or 'she', based on what sex the person is (which is perfectly evident in virtually all cases). They/them is mostly only used when you are referring to an unspecified person (and therefore not somebody of a specified sex).

But it is

What are your preferred pronouns?
Answer : chose them to be compatible with wether you see yourself as a man or a woman

What's a man or a woman?
Why should I be mr or he or she or Mrs ?

If it's sex based that's easy - although some people struggle , sex seems to be universally and externally independently observable

But if you need to say , that implies it's not sex based

So forgive me for asking wtf it is then please ?

I ask you to pick tell me if you are flaigtu or pisny ?

The question was about pronouns- saying I’m Mrs Aveline gives your name and preference in one and doesn’t have to feel ‘weird’ for anyone because it’s been around forever. This thread isn’t about defining men and women.

I’ve just said ‘no I’m not doing that’.

Please add ? After the 7th word for readability

But am I a mr or Mrs if mr is for men and Mrs for women we are still needing a working definition of men and women

That falls into my third paragraph then. I'll call the person in question by their correct pronoun which corresponds to their sex. They don't get to police my speech.

@H34th Agree. France is just beginning to get pelted with this which will be odd since like many European languages it is highly sexed (!) - and don't get me onto Basque. But then you have Estonian which is totally unsexed.