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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

When did this board become a "safe space"?

306 replies

OmiOmy · 10/11/2022 07:25

Long time poster here, name changed.

I've recently seen this board as being described as a "space space"? This has happened a few

Wikipedia says The term safe space refers to places "intended to be free of bias, conflict, criticism, or potentially threatening actions, ideas, or conversations".

Well, going by that, it's hardly a safe space, is it? We have robust discussions here that are rarely seen on other parts of the internet.

I don't know, I feel cross and disheartened to hear the term "safe space" being ascribed to this board as if we're too fragile to cope. Ugh.

Instead I would describe this board as broadly supportive, wouldn't you?

OP posts:
OmiOmy · 11/11/2022 10:47

Robustness is not abuse. Abuse should be reported.

Also @picklemewalnuts has stated my own learning curve on many things on this board. "But..." goes through "I'm not quite getting it" to "oh I see". Surrogacy was a big one I had never thought about.

That doesn't mean, however, that I agree with everyone else. I have my own lines and may compromise on some things or be more firm on other issues. This board allows me to clarify my own thinking.

OP posts:
Helleofabore · 11/11/2022 10:41

OmiOmy

You are missing something, sadly.

That posts pointing out the hypocrisy and the hyperbole is writ large will be considered and portrayed as 'a pile on' and hostile and defending the echo chamber.

That is way it works from what I gather. Happy to be corrected.

OmiOmy · 11/11/2022 10:30

autienotnaughty · 11/11/2022 06:15

You don't debate. You have your own narrative and shut down any opportunity for debate. Your posts are essentially you all agreeing with each other. Jk Rowling good, Emma Watson bad etc. So it is a "safe" space as it's a place you all say this stuff that no one else agrees with beyond yourselves.

I love the irony of this post saying you're an echo chamber and you don't allow debate and then proceeding in subsequent posts, arguing/debating, thereby proving it's not an echo chamber and we do allow debate.

OP posts:
BordoisAgain · 11/11/2022 10:01

Helleofabore · 11/11/2022 09:51

I figure any posters who genuinely believe that they engage in 'healthy discussion and debate' when they use terms such as 'echo chambers' and other disparagements against other posters probably have little intention at all in having a 'healthy discussion and debate'.

It is pretty hilarious to see them pretend otherwise though.

Indeed, it does come across as you MUST agree with me bigots, or else!

Helleofabore · 11/11/2022 09:51

I figure any posters who genuinely believe that they engage in 'healthy discussion and debate' when they use terms such as 'echo chambers' and other disparagements against other posters probably have little intention at all in having a 'healthy discussion and debate'.

It is pretty hilarious to see them pretend otherwise though.

Finegar · 11/11/2022 09:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ as it's the work of a PBP.

picklemewalnuts · 11/11/2022 09:36

I find this "I think it’s very reasonable to treat any male who has or is currently role playing as a woman with extreme caution. Their choices demonstrate that they have VERY disordered and sexist views about women " so interesting.

I have to confess I probably wouldn't arrive there on my own. I learn such a lot here. I don't agree straight away, and feel as though people are being really harsh. I think of a few people who I see doing good stuff and want to argue on their behalf. Then I pause and wonder. Eventually I usually agree.

My only hesitation about falling in with Tinsel's statements is that education process has to happen somewhere- but she's right, it mustn't be at the expense of other women.

Helleofabore · 11/11/2022 09:34

TastefulRainbowUnicorn · 11/11/2022 09:28

I have mixed views and I'm open to healthy discussion and debate.

Do you consider your contributions to this thread to be “healthy discussion and debate”?

I think that is exactly what autie and noname believe.

It is yet another redefinition of words to allow people to use them and feel self righteous.

FrancescaContini · 11/11/2022 09:32

And when did disagreement start to equal “abuse”? The hyperbole is ridiculous. It starts to limit the power and meaning of words like “abuse”.

FrancescaContini · 11/11/2022 09:30

I hate the concept of a “safe space”. So mollycoddling.

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 11/11/2022 09:29

MangyInseam · 11/11/2022 00:03

I'm not sure it's possible to have the kinds of discussions we have here about gender ideology without talking about male detransitioners. After all, we talk about transwomen fairly often. They are significant in GI and if we are seeing men, especially older men, detransition, that's significant too.

As Tinsel said, discuss yes. Lionise, no

I think it’s very reasonable to treat any male who has or is currently role playing as a woman with extreme caution. Their choices demonstrate that they have VERY disordered and sexist views about women

it would be naive in the extreme to make any assumption that they’re on the side of women

Helleofabore · 11/11/2022 09:28

autienotnaughty · 11/11/2022 09:16

@Helleofabore the group not you personally. I haven't searched your posts.

I have tried to debate in past and got shot down are you suggesting I need to persevere? And accept the abuse?

Abuse? No. You should never accept abuse.

You can go and report them even now.

But disagreement is not abuse.

And not only that, if you have entered a thread using the same disparagement as you have on this thread, then I ask again, why would anyone engage positively with your posts?

Or is the sensitivity only allowed to go towards you and not the other way?

TastefulRainbowUnicorn · 11/11/2022 09:28

I have mixed views and I'm open to healthy discussion and debate.

Do you consider your contributions to this thread to be “healthy discussion and debate”?

BordoisAgain · 11/11/2022 09:27

autienotnaughty · 11/11/2022 09:16

@Helleofabore the group not you personally. I haven't searched your posts.

I have tried to debate in past and got shot down are you suggesting I need to persevere? And accept the abuse?

What abuse did you get?

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 11/11/2022 09:25

autienotnaughty · 11/11/2022 09:00

@Helleofabore quick search 14 posts commending jk Rowling 10 posts demonising Emma watson. All in last two years. Mostly on this group (one on chat) no posts slating Rowling and none in favour of Watson.

JFC

you want threads demonising JKR? Start one. Be prepared to explain why she’s a baddie though, as you will be expected to back up your views

people asking you questions you can’t answer isn’t an attack. It’s a you problem, not a them problem

even more controversially you want to start a thread about what a good actress Emma Watson is? Good luck with that

picklemewalnuts · 11/11/2022 09:21

Did you report the abuse? It doesn't get to stand if you do.

Disagreement isn't abuse of course. I got my arse handed to me in my first few forays on here. It was distressing to be bluntly told I was ignorant, but not abusive! Grin

Helleofabore · 11/11/2022 09:21

autienotnaughty · 11/11/2022 09:00

@Helleofabore quick search 14 posts commending jk Rowling 10 posts demonising Emma watson. All in last two years. Mostly on this group (one on chat) no posts slating Rowling and none in favour of Watson.

Or are you talking about 'threads' in general on FWR and not specifically my posts? Because I have just checked and have posted two posts about Emma Watson outside this thread and neither was actually specifically about her.

In which case, if you are discussing threads would you like to then calculate the proportion of threads that is over the course of those two years.

I am quite certain your overexaggeration is working in your head, but in the cold harsh light of reality, it lacks any substance.

TastefulRainbowUnicorn · 11/11/2022 09:20

Accusing people of being abusive for disagreeing with you/having boundaries is in itself an abuse tactic.

Doesn’t work very well on here, there are too many of us to be gaslighted. I guess that’s why certain posters try to take things to PMs.

picklemewalnuts · 11/11/2022 09:20

"Pick a thread, count the posters on it and then calculate the % of posters all agreeing / saying the same thing vs those who offer an alternative view. If this board represents feminism and encourages debate, what percentage would you expect the balance of competing opinions should be? And what actually is it."

To be fair, that approach won't offer much insight when the opinion is "water is wet, fire burns".

I mean, self evident truths aren't going to get a 50/50 split and that's no reflection on the forum where the post is made. You can pop up and say- freezers can give you burns too, and be right, but that's not going to change anything.

autienotnaughty · 11/11/2022 09:16

@Helleofabore the group not you personally. I haven't searched your posts.

I have tried to debate in past and got shot down are you suggesting I need to persevere? And accept the abuse?

Slapmyslapmyass · 11/11/2022 09:14

I hate the term "safe space". It basically means you are safe from having your quite often repellent views unchallenged.

We all know MN is actually a nest of vipers.

But this is presumably actually now a thread about trans things, which are a complete irrelevance and non-issue to 99.9% of the people I actually know.

Babasghost · 11/11/2022 09:11

I found the moderation of yesterday's post about a man and his son in the ladies changing room at the pool demonstrates that mum's net is a safe place for tra trolls who use moderators to delete critical replies to them.

What I note is the first 2 pages of any discussion about single sex spaces is women talking to each other, then trolls appear with derails and devisive often misogynist language and the thread then has many deleted by mn posts .

I feel that regular posters here on this board recognise male misogynist posters. We can't mute or block them yet mum's net refuse to allow us pointing them out. It exposes everyone to their abuse whilst at the same time silencing their critics.

That's why spinster.xyz is a much better place for anyone gender critical who wants to explore this issue.

Of course there are trolls, but they get their balls handed to them in an open discussion and they scuttle off because in an open forum where they can't game the moderators they are forced to rely on argument alone and its a flimsy sham.

Helleofabore · 11/11/2022 09:10

autienotnaughty · 11/11/2022 09:03

@Helleofabore I wouldn't describe you as a large group but it's all in context I guess. I have mixed views and I'm open to healthy discussion and debate. Something that has never been available on this group.

Why would anyone want to 'discuss and debate' with someone who has been clear in disparaging other posters?

And the polls over the past year show that yes, the majority of the population believe that sex is immutable and that sex matters some times and should be prioritised above gender when it does matter.

Trying to minimise the majority of the population as 'I wouldn't describe you as a large group', is dishonest.

Helleofabore · 11/11/2022 09:06

autienotnaughty · 11/11/2022 09:00

@Helleofabore quick search 14 posts commending jk Rowling 10 posts demonising Emma watson. All in last two years. Mostly on this group (one on chat) no posts slating Rowling and none in favour of Watson.

Pardon? Are you talking about my personal history?

Cool. So what? I don't agree with Emma Watson. Can you pick the posts where I have 'demonised' her?

And have you then looked at the huge number of other posts I have made. Would you like to state the proportion of the time that I have spent discussing those two people vs the wider issues, please?

And yes. Trying to portray this board as being mostly concerned about hateful gossip is disparaging to huge amount of information that is disseminated on this board on a daily basis.

To do so is a weak attempt to shame women so they stop posting.

autienotnaughty · 11/11/2022 09:03

@Helleofabore I wouldn't describe you as a large group but it's all in context I guess. I have mixed views and I'm open to healthy discussion and debate. Something that has never been available on this group.

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