I feel stupid for supporting trans activists and now I have no one to talk to

This is such a clear, straightforward, and compassionate description @FaazoHuyzeoSix 👌

Setting the price for questioning the group so high is a way to block dissent. In scientology people who leave are called Suppressive and they are shunned (and worse).

Members of your group have to be vile to detransistioners to stop other group members following suit.

Welcome acrossthe golden bridge, op

It must have been eye opening to see how little these Genderists cared for the emotional welfare of the detransitioner.

The utter hypocrisy to guilt & manipulate people into silence because Trans people will self harm due to our words & opinions

But they are happy to tear that poor person apart then "TERF" them out of their group.

For me it was realising that a lesbian subreddit I used to occasionally glance at was closed down.

Was shocked that a harmless Reddit page could be just shut down like that....

Considering the depraved crap on Reddit that's when my gut realised something was not right

Didn't even know Reddit pages could be just shut down like that....

Sorry posted too soon, so it is important for the HCP to know.

Not many people will argue with that, and those that do, well they will not listen to anyone or anything.

OP

Many years, probably a life time ago I was a clinical physiologist, I've found using the, "In medicine you have to record sex not gender to get accurate test results and appropriate treatment.

OP as other posters have said, you may find that there are some others in your group who have doubts.

The current research shows a tendency for the 18-28 age group to be one of the most intolerant in society. A group who cannot allow others to have wrong thoughts in their group, friends, family etc. All this means is that there will be others who have thought deeply and are uncomfortable but cannot be seen to not follow, as you are.

I mentioned Keira Bell to a young woman embarking on the same journey.

'Ah, she just didn't think it through and made a mistake. I'm sure and I've wanted this for ages, so it's fine'
How long?
Ages. Over a year.

Sadly, this is seems to be more common a reaction than it should be.

I have read many detransitioners, in various stages of transition, feel traumatised by their treatment for even asking questions. Questions that signaled they were thinking independent thoughts that did not fit the group.

Or mentioning negative side effects.

Or mentioning doubts.

Those who do are living proof that shows the lies behind what amounts to propaganda. Those inconvenient truths behind the ‘low regret’ rates, the affirming only treatment plan suits most and should be followed without exception, that Puberty Blockers treatments are reversible etc.

We also see the attempts to disconnect people from their loved ones. The love bombing by the ‘glitter families’, the ‘we love you, your family doesn’t’ type approach.

That is very upsetting to hear that that young person was ostracized by the group they may well have relied on for support. I hope they find support else where.

Op remember some, or many, of your friends who would eat you alive could be having doubts too, but they’re too scared to say anything as well. Because this has set itself up as a topic you’re not allowed to question in any way on pain of being bullied and ostracised, people will go along with it and keep quiet. That’s how this kind of belief system works. But it can’t last forever - humans naturally puzzle over things that don’t make sense and want to ask questions. The reason for the “whole “no debate” and “eating people alive” who disagree is because there aren’t actually any good snswers to the questions, when you actually do debate and think it through, as we do on here.

That isn’t to say trans people don’t deserve the same rights and protections as everyone else - they do. And many trans people themselves say that the extreme ideology and religion-like, no=questions aspect of it, and transitioning children, is wrong. If you’re banned from asking questions about something and pointing out things that don’t make sense, it’s usually because it doesn’t stand up to that.

I've had deletions and warnings for using it, but really we should be able to, because it's entirely appropriate. Genderists know it, and use the c-word against anyone who disagrees with them - the clearest case of projection I ever saw!

Beautifully put, @FaazoHuyzeoSix 👏

Yeah, well, everyone’s a transphobe these days, by dint of living and breathing. I’m a transphobe because I’m alive.

The word has lost all power, and I’m happy to be labeled one, because it’s utterly meaningless. It carries no weight. I don’t care if you call me it. Bring it on.

Said it before, dress it up enough and it is possible to getaway with anything. I view it like jimmy Saville got away with child abuse as he mixed with the famous, including royalty, & did charity work.

Anyone who criticised him got shot down. One day we will look back at this era with a lot of regret & wonder how they got away with butchering a healthy young bodies & making death threats to anyone who challenged them.

Avoiding the 'c' word.

OK so a lot of the way TRAs act is like religions that are, "high control", ie describe the way you have to dress, what you do, even in your own home.

But this goes further, with the hormones and the surgery.

What is odd (well one odd thing of many), is that the older trans people don't often have any surgery or hormones. Some like Caitlyn Jenner do but then you have Eddie Izzard with his 'girl mode' and 'boy mode'.

But at the same time the teenagers are being pushed towards a medical route.

I find it sinister.

OP, I am sorry for your friend. you have received some good advice here.

with regards to this board. So many TRAs and MRAs hate us, call us mean, try to DOX us and we are heavily censored and always under the threat of being banned for saying the wrong thing.

Do you know what they hate? It is that women say NO.

We don’t want inappropriate sex talks (anal sex and toys) or gender talks given to primary school aged children.

We don’t want puberty blockers, cross sex hormones and irreversible operations performed on under 18s.

we don’t want drag queens with erections you can see in photographs (in very tight clothing) reading stories to young children and toddlers.

we don’t want people with penises (in jail for sex offences) to be put in the same jail as vulnerable women.

we don’t want a female rape survivor having to talk about her rape in a room with a person with a penis.

< I could go on and on >

on this board we say NO. That is why they hate us. That is why they call us horrible and awful. Women have the audacity to say no to people with penises. Women have the audacity not to validate people with penises.

Thank you for sharing this.
You are a good person, doing the best you can with the information you had available.
You were lied to. That doesn't make you stupid. Forgive yourself.
If you can still contact the detransitioning person then let them know they still have your support.

There's a difference between the TRA movement and a cult because there's no single central god-like leader, but there are a lot of similarities.

There are a lot of really complicated issues and there are no simple answers.

Sexism exists and young people still get shoehorned into cultural roles according to their sex which often doesn't sit well with an individual's personality. The solution is not surgery or transitioning but abolishing sexism. That can't be done quickly - we've been trying for decades.

Body dysphoria exists although is a lot rarer than you might think, and is not usually best treated with surgery or hormones. It's similar to anorexia in some ways.

Autogynephilia exists and if practiced without intruding on another person's privacy, dignity or consent is harmless, if somewhat distasteful as it can only exist in the context of accepting sexist stereotypes as truth, but you can't easily fix the fact that people were brought up in a sexist world.

There are people who get their kicks from transgressing other people's boundaries. It is in their interests to promote a worldview where people get made to feel guilty and wrong if they complain about their boundaries not being respected

Mixing all these issues into one "movement" benefits a small number of powerful people at the expense of a large number of vulnerable people.

Some other resources

www.detransawareness.org/

post-trans.com/

If you are still able to contact the person who was expressing regret at their transition, please get in touch with them privately and let them know about the detrans sub-reddit.

There's also Detrans Voices.
www.detransvoices.org/

They can find support from other detransitioners. It is very hard to be ostracised and rejected by your social group. (That's why it is used as a mechanism to control members in all kinds of political, religious and ideological groups.)
They need to know they are not alone and there are (sadly) thousands like them.

I’m so sorry to hear this, both for the detranistioner and for yourself. I believe that people support transitioning out of kindness and because they genuinely believe that it is right for the individual, and when that narrative is ended through being presented with the harsh reality of the physical and emotional issues that are created through these physical interventions, unwanted side effects, etc, it is horrifying.

Although your friend has been flamed, I imagine there must be some silent supporters on that group, or at least some people whose views will be shifting as a consequence of seeing their story and the reaction to it. I do believe that attitudes will slowly change as more of these stories become heard but it is so, so heartbreaking for the individuals involved.

There needs to be a detransitioners support group for these vulnerable people - is there not one already? Does anyone have a link?

This is tragic. I often wonder if society will look back on this period in history as being completely barmy.

Haha, I was trying to avoid the c-word! (No, not that one.)

Can we say that here now?