National Autistic Society - yikes

Yes definitely this plus the massive rise in autistic girls adopting trans identities could he because they will often mirror other people and peers because they are more innately driven to be social so could be social contagion as well whereas autistic boys don't do mirroring as much.

Plus girls and women do have more complex social interaction (not a sexism thing this is a primate thing we are evolved to behave this way) so I can understand it being easier for autistic girls to find male interaction easier and then think I must be trans because I get on better with men much as Schlaar posted.

I know right it's almost like they were looking for faults, clearly by this I was t supporting her to be her true self and find her hidden autistic talent.

Which further irritates me why does everyone have to have a talent why can't she just be? She doesn't have to be talented or gifted to be important to the ones that love her.

I wonder if some if it is a battle with themselves that they have autism (if they are autistic) and that can be really shitty (and by diagnostic criteria) affects their daily lives but if they admitted that having autism is shit they are admitting that a part of them is bad. Like they can't separate themselves from the autism or deep down feel shame about?

I can certainly relate to that I am on the path to an ADHD diagnosis (I'm certainly not self IDing) but have a specific form of dyslexia that is auditory processing I'm in the very bottom percentile for it and even though I know it's not my fault I was born this way I still sometimes get angry/embarrassed about it although I can avoid the things where it really shows up (I'm the world's worst receptionist or note taker at a complex meeting) and I have a high powered job and no one really knows unless they really know me. However I don't think autism is as easy to hide or compensate for.

*I was told I wasn't allowed to say:

My daughter as she's not a possession.*

This is so bizarre. How would they want you to phrase it?

I can only think of:

‘A female child/person that I gestated/adopted’

‘A child/person to whom I am a parent’

Is that the sort of thing they mean? 🤯

i find the idea of being able to self identify as autistic worrying , it seems to trivialise the condition.

Gah autocorrect

'Son with ASD' not 'sim'

Can't offer much to this thread - am impressed by the level of knowledge overall here.

I have a sim with ASD (11) diagnosed at 6.
I've never really joined in with the online autism community and reading this I'm bloody glad actually.

Also really worried that an emergence of being able to 'self ID' as autistic is absolutely going to undermine the already fragile message that a diagnosis is a complex and multidisciplinary rigorous process, not just a question of saying 'I'm autistic because I think I might be'.

Kids already get disregarded by people thinking that it's a label parents just ask fit in order to game the system somehow

I always assumed the connection between autism and gender identity was about rigidity. That someone with asd might have rigid, black and white views of male and female and have difficulty tolerating the aspects of themselves that don’t fit that stereotype? Like a heightened version of what’s going on for all the young people who have bought into gender identity rather than realising these are stereotypes.

I’m autistic. I am also a non gender conforming female. I prefer male friends and my interests are stereotypically male. As a teen I wore baggy male clothing because it made me invisible to men and desexualised me, which meant I didn’t have to negotiate sexual interest which I couldn’t handle. I have no doubt that nowadays I’d be labelled as trans, and I would have accepted that. For several reasons.

1 I was rejected by my peers. So if someone gave me an explanation for why the other girls didn’t want to be my friend and the boys didn’t want to be my boyfriend, I’d have been overjoyed to have an answer.

2 I felt threatened by my developing body and was unable to negotiate any sort of teenage social or sexual encounter, not even flirting. So if I could identify out of that I would have done.

3 Autism has been described as extreme male brain. I get on better with men. Being trans would give me access to male friendship groups which I was (and still often am) shut out of as a female.

4 Being trans makes you interesting. People rush to accept you to prove how accepting they are. So if you’re someone who’s constantly rejected and ignored, then you say you’re trans and suddenly people want to defend and support you and befriend you, that is incredibly seductive.

I seem to recall the NAS being investigated by the charity commission? I can't remember if it was on financial or safeguarding grounds. Perhaps I'm mixing them up with a different charity, not Mermaids.

The National Autistic Society website really helped us when DD got kicked out of school for having autism in the summer.

This is heartbreaking.

I've thought that too.

Is it because lots of TRAs are autistic? We know there's a disproportionate amount of autistic girls transitioning.

Although I still think the separating from family thing is being pushed by pedophilic adults and then others have jumped on the bandwagon.

All of the alphabet soup isn't a safe.

So frustrating watching the clip as they could have represented girls like my DD.

Quite makes eye contact doesn't have meltdowns in public not what many think of when you say autism but struggles with it daily.
or
They could have spent the time and money on doing something to support autistic teens during puberty like information videos and education materials.

Going back to Lex's article.... at least it's a warning that non-binary is not a "safe" identity. As a parent I would probably have seen non-binary as relatively harmless and perhaps encouraged it. But this article shows that non-binary can lead to surgery too. So promoting non-binary identities is also harmful and dangerous.

Yes. This is entirely my experience too. The parallels between the behaviours of TRAs and many in the online autistic groups I have been part of are very striking.

Don't worry I did laugh when they said that.

But for some parents more vulnerable than me it could tip them over the edge ( although granted they were already at the edge anyway).

I forgot I was also told I'm clueless because I'm NT and could never speak for her.... There was a bit of a reverse ferret when I actually said I'm not NT and have a learning difficulty!

Exactly I wonder if the vulnerability has meant she's experienced traumatic events as a result and we all know that people will try to disassociate themselves from the trauma.

You hear it with women talking about rape, well I make sure I'm safe by...not walking alone at night, not wearing X, not going to Y because it is really hard to take mentally that there is often no reason for someone becoming a victim over you, which then opens up the possibility that it could happen to you.

I wonder if this is what happens with autistic girls/women especially with their more rigid thinking patterns is that if I change gender I will be safe and the trauma I've experienced will go away and also not happen again.

I can see the conversation has moved on from the video in the link, but I just wanted to comment on her saying she was vulnerable as a teenager all through to her early 30s. Yet she is now 36, has been diagnosed with autism, realised she was non-binary and has had a double mastectomy. Someone doesn't stop being vulnerable just because they've had a diagnosis. She is still vulnerable and she has simply found a group to join and the initiation process is bodily harm.

I only do the opposite if it’s a controlling person trying to control me .I’m not controlling them

If every time you asked your children to do something they purposefully did the opposite, would you change how you approached them? Changed what you asked of them or how you asked them? If you change anything about your approach as a result of them doing the opposite they have controlled you. Doing the opposite in reaction to a request is a pretty blunt attempt at control, much more passive aggressive than just saying ‘no’. That doesn’t mean what you asked of the children (or someone asked of you) was reasonable.

We all control people around us. I don’t think autistic individuals are necessarily more controlling but most control takes place through social communication. Which means autistic individuals attempts at control probably seem more blatant. Children in the playground use friendships, negotiation and persuasion to get other children to join in their games. If you don’t have those skills then your attempts might seem much more controlling but are actually just less successful.

The online autism community is a totally toxic and to be avoided. It is dictatorial, polices language ferociously, bullying and steeped in identity politics. Autism is an identity. The loud voices are all adult diagnosed, if they have been diagnosed at all. Diagnosis is not necessary, you can simply identify as autistic. The vitriol aimed at autistic/people with autism who disagree with them is shocking.

Completely agree, anyone who doesn’t hold the views of the dominant narrative is rounded on. Anyone whose autistic presentation isn’t the typical presentation is also shouted down and othered and I’m not just talking about those with what some describe as ‘low functioning’ autism. Those who are less articulate are shouted down. You see it happen on here too.

Going back to the paper posted earlier, I'm sure I've seen it asserted that transition is a cure for autism.

As said upthread all people with autism are different

How so ..
I only do the opposite if it’s a controlling person trying to control me .I’m not controlling them ,
oh never mind ,I can’t make myself understood

I was told I wasn't allowed to say: My daughter as she's not a possession.

This is another crossover with TRA - separating children from parents, being a replacement ‘family’ who ‘know them better and advocate for them better’.

I should also say, controlling others is something we all do to some extent. It is necessary for survival.