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Do you ever wonder, what else have I been horribly wrong on all this time?

278 replies

JaneorEleven · 04/11/2022 03:16

Do you ever wonder, what else have I been horribly wrong on all this time? If I was SO wrong on those that are GC, what else have I been wrong on?

All my life I’ve been solidly left leaning, and pretty much agreed with most points on the left. I’ve described myself as an old fashioned socialist, love the idea of the NHS, a safety net for lower income people and unemployed, social and economic equality, disability rights, rights for women all tied up with feminism including being pro-choice, LGB and the TQ etc rights, you name it, I supported it.

I had previously been very sympathetic to Trans issues, and had a friend who transitioned, and I supported this person as best I could. But after some time of researching and I guess educating myself for lack of a better expression, I did a complete uturn on this, and found myself agreeing with many wise GC women. It was a bell I couldn’t unring. And Mumsnet played a large part in this.

I’m British now living in the US, and find myself busy Terfing USA. I’ve listened to NPR for years, nodding along, but now almost daily, they have a segment that infuriates me with regards to Trans issues. Could be anything from “trans kids” not getting their meds, to prisons, to bathrooms, schools, and they support it all. Female reporters who I held in high esteem, interviewing and fawning over transwomen, platforming them and letting them hold court without challenging them.

These past few weeks, I’ve started to question myself. How could I have been so wrong on this? I thought GC peeps, or Terfs, were full of hate and lacked patience and understanding.

Which leads me to ask, on what else have I been so badly wrong? Anyone else think like this? Now I don’t think I’m a closet right winger, but is it possible I’ve allowed the left to lead me up the garden path on other issues too?

OP posts:
DogDaysNeverEnd · 04/11/2022 06:23

My change of heart hasn't caused me to question everything, but I suppose I've started to try more to understand why people think what they do. In the UK we've had a tough time with Brexit divisions over the past few years and there are some similarities I think - a binary decision about a complex issue that people took an ideological stance on because it was too big for most of us to comprehend.

I know 2 trans women and they are both perfectly nice people who have clearly gone through the mill. My instinct is to "protect" those individuals and support them if I can, and even though it's a mental juggle to not use their old names or pronouns I mostly manage. I never thought TWAW, and they never spoke in those terms either.

But there's a world of difference between caring for an individual and establishing rules for all. Women have fought hard for sex based rights, and for those to be eroded before we've really had chance to get the benefit another avenue (trans rights) are being used to knock us back down. That, combined with the appealing state mental health care is in and all the difficulties kids face growing up means there's a huge risk of trans being sold as a panacea to kids (esp. girls) finding it hard to grow up.

In summary, it's healthy to question things. Down with no debate!

WarriorN · 04/11/2022 06:07

Nothing else except that I don't trust universities to be the bastions of rigour I once thought they were.

I suppose now pay attention to different news outlets / papers but that only proves this is the only issue I that the left have fucked up on.

I never had strong feelings about trans simply because I understood it to be v much around stereotypes and social issues; that's what had to change not the individual. I suppose I was wrong about that as it appears to be linked to fetish etc via agp.

TheGreatATuin · 04/11/2022 06:02

Oh yes, I think about this too. Its definitely made me examine my own thought processes and beliefs more closely, but I think its a good thing, even if it's hard.
I look back and I see a lot of naivete on my part, even if it was well-intentioned.
It's all very "goodies vs baddies' which is pretty ridiculous because people and issues can be complex, especially when it comes to sex and gender.
But after a lot of soul searching, I've realised that my underlying values haven't changed at all.
As we keep hearing over and over, "I didn't leave the left, it left me".
I'm still as left wing as I ever was, but it's what I believed it was to be left wing, not necessarily what it's become.
I've also always believed it's important to stand up when you see injustice, and that includes when it's coming from your own 'side', and thats what's being tested here and one of the reasons it's so hard.
To quote JKR in HP, “There are all kinds of courage," said Dumbledore, smiling. "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.”
I'm sure I must be wrong about other things. I'm not so arrogant to believe I'm the only person in the world who is always right about everything, but so far, this is the only issue I've done a complete u-turn on.
That's because it's based on overwhelming evidence that there's a serious problem. That's the reason I changed my mind and so many other women.
Ultimately, it's a lot more healthy, recognising we can sometimes get things very wrong and being a little more cautious about what we take at face value.