Another surrogacy nightmare

He must be spectacularly stupid to think that the Kenyan authorities won't figure out he's gay when his public Facebook page has photos of him and his husband on it.

Those poor babies.

His partner isn't mentioned @BaggyAndWrinkled because despite his complete ignorance re all things related to pregnancy, childbirth, multiple birth, the legal processes to remove Kenyan born babies from their mothers to take them back to Ireland he almost certainly knows that homosexuality is illegal in Kenya and has taken measures to conceal the truth regarding his relationship.

I can't find it now but I have read an article about surrogacy in various African states and it is common for homosexuals to have to lie and pretend to be in a relationship with the surrogate mother to obtain their babies. It's covered up but I understand a bit of this goes on in Ukraine too as although surrogacy is VERY lightly regulated there it is limited to heterosexual couples only. In Jennifer Lahl's film #bigfertility which you can find on YouTube the surrogate mother agreed to carry twins for a gay couple from France, where surrogacy is illegal. In order to pass parenthood to one of the gay fathers and obtain travel documents for the babies she was required to attend the French embassy and claim to have had a one night stand or brief relationship with the guy and be giving the babies to him. It was all done in French and she didn't know what she was signing.

I think it is safe to say this sort of subterfuge is widespread.

It's utter madness that this isn't legislated against. Madness.

That poor Mum. Those poor babies.

This is all so completely avoidable.

I'm suspicious that his partner isn't mentioned at all.

I can't work out what enrages me more - the Internet shopping to find the cheapest surrogate possible, the implantation of 3 embryos with zero consideration of how much riskier that is for both mother and babies, the wilful ignorance that they'd be on the hook for increased hospital costs or the complete lack of concern for how the mother is doing.

Honestly if that man is so stupid that he doesn't realise the almost certain medical risks of having triplets, I question whether he's capable of caring for them at all. What other aspects of having babies is he woefully naive about?

Oh he does seem as thick as mince. It's embarrassing that he didn't know that a foreign national couldn't just waltz off with babies born to a Kenyan mother. Also astonishing that he didn't anticipate triplets being born early and that there would be medical costs associated with that.

Oh wow, yeh, all about him. I am glad that the Irish Embassy in kenya isn't wading in on his behalf. Also makes you wonder if there are forms he should have filled out but didn't. I'm sure 'white man uses poor kenyan woman as a womb' is not something the embassy want to get behind.

It is weirdly horrible that he doesn't mention the mother at all.

This. Agreed.

I wish someone would start a gofundme to find this woman and see if she needs support. I am shocked that the national broadcaster of Ireland had this man on the radio publicising his fundraising campaign and did not take the needs of these babies into account.

I’m against all surrogacy, whoever is buying. Mothers and babies should not be separated, human beings should not be bought and sold like commodities.

Sorry I see it's already been mentioned further on in the thread.

I've found his social media.

He is in a same-sex relationship with a man so PPs were right about the reason why this wasn't mentioned.

I'm still aghast this took place in 2022

Not only but I doubt that she will be paid now.
Presumably she is the end of the food chain of money.
And I presume she will have hospital bills too.

God help her - poor woman.

Those babies didn't look premature.

Yes. I'm against surrogacy for heterosexual couples, lesbian couples, gay couples, and single heterosexual person of either sex, single lesbians and single gay men and any other combinations I might have missed.

Is that clear enough for you?

His stupidity really shines through doesn't it.

"From the 1st to the 5th we were told that the babies were doing OK, they just needed some oxygen and some special baby food

"Special baby food??

,"We went in, we seen the babies and to our dismay there was tubes everywhere.

I don't know how anyone can reach adulthood and not know premature babies are very likely to be in intensive care with tubes.

And yes, I'm amazed how these babies carne in to the world- were they found in a cabbage patch? Or did an over-eager stork drop them off too early?

Poor wee things.

And what also gets me is the penny pinching. The money he's being asked to come up with isn't really that much. If you're going to set off being the parents of triplets by surrogacy bloody well sort your funds out first

(And no I don't mean by that , that I support commercial surrogacy- just that using it and trying to do it on the cheap seems especially egregious)

If a woman was only paid minimum wage for every hour of a full-term 40 week pregnancy, it would come to £63,840. (168 hours per week @£9.50 per hour). Given you don't get weekends off being pregnant, that's not enough. There are no rest breaks, no weekends, and she's absolutely working more than 48 hours a week. Working Time Directive, anyone? So we need to consider anti-social hours allowances and overtime pay. She needs to be paid shift allowances between 10pm and 6am, and in addition over-time rates need to be applied to over half her working week. So that's well over £63,480!

In reality, she will not see anything like such a figure.

They tried to find a free surrogate but couldn't.

I wonder why they couldn't find a free surrogate?

"I have friends currently going through surrogacy, and the surrogates are not victims, they love doing it and love being pregnant. There is a whole community of surrogates who do make a living from this and enjoy it. "

Could it be that these surrogates who love doing this so much are actually doing it for money. And that for some inexplicable reason women aren't keen on going through nine months of pregnancy, childbirth and giving a baby away to complete strangers unless there is some financial gain to be had from the arrangement?

This is very surprising I must say.

Thanks - subscribed now.

Stop Surrogacy Now
stopsurrogacynowuk.org/
For those who want to learn more.

+1 against human trafficking.

The government went one step further in 2019 when it banned all international adoptions.

Shocking that the problem persists, but rich foreign dudes will always expect special treatment I suppose...

Nicely said, Moonatics.

Its been said before by much cleverer women than me, but I agree.
When rich women have babies for poor women then I'll rethink my attitude to surrogacy. Until then renting a body is all kinds of wrong.

+1

I'm against all surrogacy. I'm childless and would have desperately loved to have a child, but it's not a right and I've come to terms with that.