Another surrogacy nightmare

What?

A surrogate born girl, offers her dad an egg, so he can have a child with her ex boyfriend who is now his boyfriend?

Have I got that right?

Honestly where is the ethics committee in this?

think it will be difficult for a young woman to recognise her instincts and be in tune with her natural biology when she has been reared with no role model for this and possibly with actual misogynistic values.

Saffron Drewitt Barlow has offered her eggs to one of her fathers, so he and his fiancé (her ex boyfriend) can have another surrogate born baby (whilst he is still married to her other father). So far her father has refused and he runs a casting session for egg donors when he wants a new baby. She also wants to have a family through surrogacy but her father Barrie did tell her to 'do it herself'. Perhaps he is surprised despite her being surrounded by surrogacy as all of his children are surrogate-born and they run a surrogacy agency.

However, in the luxury-surrogacy baby-buying world commissioners can just engage clinics in countries that permit embryo sex selection, and have the designer-dress-up-dolly-babies -of-their-dreams

The Drewitt Barlows provide an example of this too. Valentina, the youngest daughter. is one of triplets but her two brothers were terminated in utero by 'foetal reduction', also known as sex section, as Barrie had enough boys. Saffron can at least offer some guidance to Valentina on periods etc as an older sister.

Interestingly one of the things that came up earlier in the thread re: adoptions in Nigeria was that lone woman could not adopt a boy and a lone man could not adopt a girl.

Same sex relationships are not legal in Nigeria but in a country where they are, you could certainly make a case that a gay male couple would be better suited to adopting boys and a lesbian couple better suited to adopting girls (weirdly tho, I seem to recall that women using donated sperm are more likely to conceive boys, something to do with y sperms behaviour being better suited to IUI than x sperms? This means lesbians are statistically more likely to be mothers of boys than mothers of girls).

Of course, in a carefully vetted adoption scenario a social worker might encounter a gay male couple with lots of close knit sisters/mothers young enough to be around for a good long time and vice versa, lesbians with very present brothers/dads and be satisfied that an opposite sex child placement will be perfectly fine (single mums of sons and widower dads of daughters have to muddle through as best they can, after all).

However, in the luxury-surrogacy baby-buying world commissioners can just engage clinics in countries that permit embryo sex selection, and have the designer-dress-up-dolly-babies -of-their-dreams

They can pick a pink/blue embryo to match the pink/blue nursery 🤢

I don't think you are wrong @picklemewalnuts
This little girl will have to navigate periods, grow into a young woman. Who may or may not be naturally heterosexual and want children of her own conceived the normal way. I think it will be difficult for a young woman to recognise her instincts and be in tune with her natural biology when she has been reared with no role model for this and possibly with actual misogynistic values.

I'm actually starting to question same sex adoption for the values a child may inadvertently pick up.

I'm wrong, I know, because dc pick up lessons from having a shit dad or a narcissistic mum.

But two man hating women (trope, sorry) or two misogynistic men are a real risk to a balanced DC.

Gosh, what a horrible path to go down. I'll go and wash my brain and mouth out now. But those guys do gay rights no favours at all.

Is there a word that specifically means 'hatred of mothers'? These stories make me think there must be.

Yes 'using' being the operative word. This awful couple really think it's just like hiring someone to landscape their garden or something. Though they would probably give the garden designer more respect than the mother of their child.

It bothers me more because the child is female actually. What misogynistic attitudes is she going to internalise, growing up? Poor little thing.

“I guess we won’t be using her again,”

This sums it up

There's another very good piece about Lewis/Gage here. Poor child. I wonder what she will think about it all when she grows up.

www.firstthings.com/web-exclusives/2018/06/her-name-is-monroe-christine

This is shocking beyond belief. I especially struggled with the sentence, “She gave birth to the couple’s baby girl.” As for filming the mother giving birth without asking for her consent - the male couple really didn’t see her as a human being worthy of dignity and respect, did they? But they were very happy to use her womb for nine months.

I have been following the story of Alexandra Trent, the surrogate mother of Monro (daughter of Jeff Lewis and Gage Edwards from Flippin' Out). She dropped the law suit against the tv production company in 2019. She had agreed to pre-birth filming but not to the birth being filmed but she dropped her claim for invasion of privacy and fraud. She had not signed a consent form for this specific scene and this seems to be the basis of why the case didn't go to court. Alexandra also cannot re-submit one in the future, though she has said she was damaged and humiliated by Lewis' comments and you can only imagine what followed as she reads about their divorce and the little girl without her mother to provide stability as they each continue to use Monro like a pawn in their bitter split.

I'm guessing that legal advice made her drop the case as she would be taking on two wealthy and reasonably powerful men as well as the tv company. This is from before the case was dropped.

www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/business-news/bravo-cant-force-arbitration-surrogate-childbirth-was-shown-flipping-1154481/

I believe Alexandra Trent was single and may have had little emotional or financial support. It's possible that when she answered the classified ad she needed the money (and a second contract was cancelled when the tv series was aired so she had plans to enter another commercial contract) but she didn't know about the tv series until the first meeting when she was asked to sign a consent form immediately so they could film. She was not seeking fame and hasn't been heard of since.

Some more on when the case was being formed.

pagesix.com/2018/06/14/jeff-lewis-surrogate-sues-over-flipping-out-birth/

Misogyny, ignorance and money. Well, not the first father to have all three and to use them to oppress women. That poor baby girl.

Good god. That's shocking. Incredibly shocking. I didn't think that could happen.

Gosh I hope that she takes them for every penny they have. What disgusting behaviour.

Surrogacy is not about exploiting women and infants for a purchaser's own desire to have a child to order.

At all....

That is revolting, utterly revolting.

Tell me again how marvellous surrogacy is and that it is not just another patriarchal demand to use and abuse the bodies of women?

There are no words to describe how disgusting this is.

“If I was a surrogate, and I had known there was going to be an audience, I probably would have waxed,” Lewis said on the broadcast. “And that was the shocking part for Gage. I don’t think Gage had ever seen a vagina, let alone one that big.”

variety.com/2018/biz/news/flipping-out-bravo-trent-1202844060/

One day your child will grow up and find out exactly how you treated their mother

Mexico - the new surrogacy gold rush boom.

www.vice.com/en/article/k7bxmz/mexico-surrogacy-facebook

The capacity of some humans to take and advantage of and exploit impoverished humans elsewhere on the planet never fails to amaze me. Soon we will have a generation of children growing up to discover their parents are heartless bastards who bought them from an unnamed poor woman somewhere and who probably bought an egg from another impoverished woman somewhere else. They will never be able to trace their genetic roots or discover what happened to the woman who gave birth to them.

This is going to sound a bit mean but why on earth did they think that getting a surrogate in kenya, the world capital of scams, was ever even remotely a good idea? Now it’s an international hostage situation.

I wonder if actually this is huge denial in action, trying to convince oneself

'Moon time' was a new one for me, lower down that thread we are 'imprenatable' or 'formerly impregnatable', apparently word 'woman' is a right wing dog whistle.

Do you remember the mockery when feminists tried to de-sex unnecessarily gendered language?

can you imagine seeing a fertility doctor who describes you as a bleeding body?

get to fuck with that.

That “bleeding bodies” Twitter pic 😮😮

What the bleedin’ fuck??

So yes. Now a bleeding body is potentially also a partner with eggs. Eggs that others want access to.

Or if they are partners with eggs, it means they can be of service as a gestational incubator for others who want access to that gestator capability.

The dehumanisation is vile. Just vile. But hey, how much further do we have to go for human breeding programs? The language is already there and being used and the commoditization is already in place. It is just a matter degrees.

But ‘Bleeding bodies’ doesn’t even make sense. It is just fucked up.

Honestly. Laugh or cry....
"Partner with eggs"
!