How do you protect your children from getting sucked into and brainwashed by this?

My oldest daughter is probably lesbian, possibly autistic and very into cosplay and manga. I show loads of interest in her obsessions and outgeek her in her hobbies. I teach maths and computer science and am fairly gender non conforming in my personality. Up until puberty, she usually wore boys clothes and I never batted an eyelid. She still would never be seen dead in a skirt, but is definitely embracing a much more feminine (but punky) look as she comes through puberty. I let her have quite a lot of freedom online, but only on the basis that she keeps me in the loop. I watch a lot of YouTube with both my kids, so I’m just trying to stay on the inside, rather than get caught out of the loop.

As a secondary teacher, I’d definitely say being trans was catching, and declaring yourself non binary even more so. I’ve already jumped the gun and declared myself non binary at home long ago, so I don’t think it has much shock appeal for my kids anymore. (I have years of photos of myself with a shaved head and pin stripe suits to back it up).

Oh, 100% the fashion is already on the wane. Most teenagers are quick witted enough to understand coercion, manipulation and bullshit, and most are already over this.

What is likely to happen, unfortunately, is that the more vulnerable children will be caught up in this ideology, as is already the case. It's them who need support and understanding. Let's hope the Cass Report is helpful when it comes out later on this year.

@RoseslnTheHospital my niece in secondary said pronouns are "so last year" so you may be right! She never used them as she has a very girly name so "everyone who knows me knows I'm a girl, it's a no brainse".. She's 17 & GC as are her friends.. Some of her close friends are gay & bi but at the same time GC .. She has no trans identifying kids in her class.. So I really do hope the tide is turning in the younger generations.. My niece will be a good mentor for my dc, they worship her as it is!

@Suncreamweather what is promising is that there seems to be a shift in younger teens to move away from focussing on identities and labelling themselves. Not surprising as time moves on and those behaviours are associated with the now older generations as they have moved from being teenager to young adults into boring old grown ups.

Being trans is not catching. Rapid onset infection is a total myth spread by interviewing trans hostile parents. It's really not something you need to worry about.

Unless they are trans, which is highly unlikely as there are so few, I wouldn't let it worry you. And if they are, then it's a blessing, and there are many jewish trans kids living rather happily. Don't buy into the fear - we are better than that.

@IcakethereforeIam thank you, that's what I'm hoping for I'm really trying to get ahead of the curve & know exacting wtf is out there & happening. DH is gender critical but is very oblivious to how trans sweeping children's culture.. He keeps saying it won't happen our dc..
They don't game or have access to the Internet or social media. This doesn't bother them at all..it was a conscious decision of mine. If needed for homework I'm in the room. Whats out there, pop up ads etc scares the fuck out of me. I won't be pressured into letting them online..
I'm also consciousness about books, they are avid readers but babysitters club is banned! I'm sure there was a booklist on here a while ago about what to avoid, I'll do a search.
I can't wrap them in cotton wool & there will be exposure but as long as I'm their mother & they are in my house I'll do my very best to keep this dangerous brainwashing out of their lives...

If you're aware and educate yourself you can get ahead of it. I became aware a little too late and though my two have escaped the worse, so far, they are both trans rights especially the youngest. Your kids might get friends who identify as trans so prepare them for that. Obviously, they can be friends but how they negotiate new names and pronouns, if that comes up...I don't know. It's not right to put children on the front line of this. The schools and adults behind this and cheering it on should be ashamed. In some instances they should be sacked. In some instances they should be jailed. Imo.

It is tricky and concerning, yes. Some are more at risk, of course. Girls, children with ASD, children with trauma in their histories.

@ArabellaScott thank you. It's very concerning & I want to do all I can to protect & keep my dc safe. So many things for kids seem to have hidden messages I wouldn't understand. It's a minefield.

Teach simple, straightforward biology.

Counter any disinformation early.

Teach them that any child can play with any toy.

Anyone can wear what they want.

Teach them that some people are same sex attracted.

Unfortunately you may need at some point to tell them that their teachers are wrong. This is hard and yes, it erodes and undermines trust. This is the trouble with teaching an ideology.

Monitor Internet usage.

Practise LOTS of active listening.

Bumping up as I would like to know the answers to this too. I wany my children protected from any trans indoctrination but it's everywhere. Will all the cute marketing I can see how it's obvious that children can get sucked in.

What @Leafstamp said.

I'm not calling anyone brainwashed @TheClogLady - people on this thread are.

I'm pointing out in a tongue in cheek way that teenaged children are likely to see things differently to their middle aged parents. This is normal. I certainly disagree with my mother about a few things. I would think that teaching your children to think critically and accepting that, as free thinkers, there will be times that they disagree with you and loving them anyway is a healthier approach and will lead to better outcomes for your relationship them.

It’s hard to convince a woman that there is no such thing as biological sex when you’ve pushed a human out of your vagina.

You can call that brain washing if you like, the rest of us will call it accepting material reality.

I can just imagine all your kids on a forum for teens searching for advice on how to stop their mums being sucked in and brainwashed into being gender crirucal 🙂

I don't know. I did everything right according to this thread - no gender stereotyping as children, open and honest discussion, etc etc, but mine are immersed in it all anyway as young adults.

Children will believe whoever tells them a "fact" first.

I have boys. So I introduce the idea of having to have their private parts cut off - which they were horrified about. Because boys just are naturally protective of that sensitive area of their body.
My DH was unbothered until I talked to him about how his petite mother could be in hospital with an woman with a penis and testicles in the hospital bed next to them. That changed his mind quite quickly.
Then I also showed my boys the pictures from some of the feminist website of where the skin is taken from girls to fashion a penis. They were teens at this point - as it’s pretty graphic.
Luckily both DS are quite into science.
I also emphasized about treating fellow students with compassion. But that if they ever got I trouble for misgendering at school they were to tell me and I would deal with it.
Hope that helps.

This is the website: www.thelightphone.com

The international version can be used on a few different UK networks. We’ll see how it goes in real life!

I’ll update when I’ve got it in my hand I have a feeling a lot more gadgets like this will be released over the next few years - there are already teen specific smart phones in the US so I’m sure we’ll get similar in future.

www.pinwheel.com

(I had been threatening her with a Nokia burner, which is still my back up plan! Call and text only, no camera!)

Very interested in the phone. Please do start a thread. I teach in a girls'secondary school and the stuff I deal with makes me not want dd to get a smart phone ever!

get.futurefocusedlearning.net/critical-thinking-cheatsheet

My eldest thinks it’s nonsense (v black and white thinker) but has learned to be polite about it at uni (I like to scandalise him with my tervery, although he does cheerfully admit to being a terf in the sheets, even if he isn’t one in the streets)

My youngest is a people pleaser so struggles with the urge for kindness v the urge for fairness (she’s 10, so the boys are starting to really pull ahead in sports). I’ve carefully vetted the local secondaries and am hoping to get her into a local girls school that is very emphatic about female centred language, ‘daughters of the school family’ that kind of thing.
The other local girls’ school has banned the teachers from calling the girls, girls, so there is quite a contrast.

We’ve ruled out the best nearest co ed due to mixed sex loos.

I also have a middle-by-marriage who lives with her mum most of the time. She’s properly sucked into Genderland, mostly via affirmation by school staff, but also online. She sometimes wibbles and looks like she’s going to desist and then gets sucked back in and we’re all just hoping she grows out of it before she’s 18 and gets her trust fund from Tony Blair 🙄
if I had parental responsibility for her I would crowdfund and take action against the school, but I don’t.
I totally get why parents generally aren’t up for such drastic measures, as it’s all very walking-on-egg-shelly.
The school is Stonewall Bronze Champion, but none of us realised how sinister that might be when she started there in 2017. Just started lower 6th now.

Witnessing their sister’s distress (she’s also anorexic) has certainly taken the shine off the glitter and the colour out of the rainbows as far as the other two are concerned.

My youngest isn’t going to be given a smartphone until she’s at least 16.

We’ve ordered a light phone from the US, if it seems good when it arrives and like a useful tool without the mental-health destroying algorithms, I will probably start a thread.

Elise Gravel has some lovely free printables that dispel gender stereotypes - great for littles but stylish enough to have around even if your children are older:

elisegravel.com/en/blog/boys-can-be/

elisegravel.com/en/blog/girls-can-be/

elisegravel.com/en/blog/artsy-boys-and-smelly-girls-free-e-book-kids/

There is a great critical thinking questions cheat sheet around that I learned about via another MNetter, I’ll come back with the link…

I really appreciate this thread. Dd is 8. I have had extensive conversations with her school about th e teaching of gender ideology which seem to have gone well. I've also been very open about female biology from the get go. She knows she's a girl because she has eggs in her tummy, and its nothing to do with clothes hair or hobbies. She is quite gender non conforming so we talk about how silly it is that some people think a girl can't do x or a boy can't do y. I've just started saying to her that if anyone says anything silly to her like you can change sex she should let me know.

She's just moved schools so now I need to start again being 'that parent'with her new school.

thank you @QueenHippolyta I really appreciate that