I'm not a woman - which facilities should I use

Well yes, obviously. That's the problem. This is exactly why so many people, like myself, find the trans debate so infuriating. I don't understand why men being allowed to shrug on a woman's identity as if it were a pretty little dress is any less offensive than Rachel Dolezal claiming she's black. Stonewall would say sex and race are different - that there is a communality and a history of oppression in being black that can't just be appropriated by a white person. But I'd say you can't appropriate women's experience either!! it's insulting. And belittling. And dangerous.

"the problem for Stonewall would be that because I believe sex matters, I can't disregard the actual physical risk which females are exposed to when not provided with single sex spaces."

This is not a problem for Stonewall. This is a problem for you. Stonewall willput the needs of trans people to feel 'comfortable' over the needs of a biological woman to feel safe.
If you insist that you feel at threat in a gender neutral space, and say you think single sex spaces are safer (and if you believe it's sex, that you think therefore TW should stay out of them) then you are again just transphobic (in their view) and stonewall will have no reason to engage with you.
They'll say there's nothing wrong with their logic. Just something wrong with you. I think they'd question also your understanding of the nature of gender neutrality.

I also think you're also going to have to define what you mean by "(biological) sex matters".
Stonewall will say it matters in some areas e.g. whether or not you need period products,
but will reject the idea that actually menstruating//reproduction/menopause are in any way necessary to the experience of being a woman.
If you think that's bollocks, as I do, then I'd say you're not 'agender' but a woman, who feels connected to her body, and doesn't feel bound by stereotypes

Maybe everyone cut all the pomo crap. If you got born with a male body, you use the men's. Because you're a man. And if you got born with a female body, you use the women's.

All genders welcome whatever! Same as all star signs welcome, whatever!

But we go by what sex your body is, for places and situations where sexed bodies are important. E.g. women's prisons, women's sports, changing rooms, toilets, jobs, political and professional "Women's Officers/Representatives",etc.

I guess you have to ask yourself why you say you were happy to go to the ladies until you found men in them.

And finally.

I thought the whole point of promoting gender neutral toilets is so that people who don't what to have to wee with others according to their sex but according to their feelings about themselves (identity) can do so, in comfort.

Gender neutral toilets would also accommodate people who are gender neutral i.e. yourself.

Stonewall would probably hold you up as an excellent example of why gender neutral toilets are necessary.

THey'd say you are in a difficult position precisely because binary toilets don't work for people like you. In fact, in answer to the. question "where should you wee, stonewall" , the answer is in their advocacy for gender neutral toilets.

However, as you actually think sex matters, then you can just go on ahead and use the women - where you will be welcomed and where you clearly belong. Just don't let on to the stonewall people tell you that sex matters, because when they understand they think that, they'll think all the stuff about being agender is guff, and label you a terf in sheeps clothing.

Sorry about the typos. Makes it hard to follow me.

I'm less interested in where Stonewall would fit you in (the answer is gender neutral toilets which are for non binary people - that is why they want them as the current binary system doesn't matter) than I am in understanding what it means to be 'agender'.

I have no idea what it means to 'not feel like a woman' (i.e. not identity as a woman) but accept that bodies and the fact you have a female one (periods, menopause, birth, oestrogen) is important.

Surely as a female sexed person whatever you feel are the feelings of a woman, so it's quite simple to say you are a woman. Not identifying as a womanseems rather peverse, as if you're just rejecting stereotypical ideas of womanhood - which myself and lots of other people would also agree with.

I do know one general queer person (gender neutral) quite well and theyseemed more or less indistinguishable to all the lesbians I know. Gender neutrality seems to be to reinforce stereotypes not challenge them.

Please do explain.

You might not call yourself a woman, but you ARE in fact a woman. So you go to the ladies. It’s quite simple really, no need to over complicate with circular meaningless word salad.

Again I think you are confused. The TW in the toilet and stonewall will think that everyone has a gender identity as they think that there is such a thing as sex and and such a thing as gender identity and sex doesn't have a role to play in gender identity. They will believe that if people don't buy into that then they are mistaken (or transphobic, or right wing or whatever).

A trans woman in the women toilet thinks they are female as they believe that 'identifying as a woman' makes them female. If the women in the toilet all started saying this is rubbish, we don't identity as women we JUST are women because of our bodies, the TW would 1) think they are mistaken or 2) think they are transphobic. They'd probably say 'your belief you are a woman is in (in my view) the same as having a female gender identity'.

You are asking your questions in the wrong place. Go and say to Stonewall:
"Hey stonewall. I don't believe in gender identity but I do believe sex matters. . So where do I fit in your scheme."

I think you are saying you are 'trans' because you don't have a female identity. But you don't have a 'female identity, because you don't buy into the notion of gender identity.
And they would tell you -I imagine - you don't fit in our scheme as you don't believe in gender identity.

The fact you don't fit isn't a failure of our belief system. You are judging it by standards external to it's own logic.

(Also probably the fact you don't believe in gender identity but do believe that sex is relevant probably makes you transphobic).

If you really can't get your female head around why a male is happy to share facilities with people who are female but can't share facilities with males then you need to read on,

You know what - no one really cares about or where you fit in the worldview!

And afaik the whole point of this thread is that now loos are supposedly not straightforwardly segregated by sex, the OP isn't comfortable anywhere.

Theres scope for them to be so under the valid exceptions. Whereas there's certainly no such thing as a 'single gender' loo.

Anyway. The one many women feel most comfortable in is 'the one with no males other than very small boys'.

😁

Least uncomfortable perhaps!

Does anyone ever actually feel comfortable in a public toilet?