Do you know any TRAs in real life?

My daughter. She is gay and autistic. She thinks JK is evil, worse than Putin. My husband has rows about it. I avoid the subject where possible. Yesterday she told me after a long rant to educate myself. I told her cold as ice that I had educated myself and I had formed a different opinion to the one she holds. I told her she needed to learn to tolerate other peoples opinions and stay open minded.

We actually have a great relationship and she is kind and funny. On this she is militant and narrow minded. I ask gentle questions and go my own way, sneaking off to feminist meet ups.

I want our very good relationship to survive but I can't lie. I've been a feminist and this feels like our darkest days in some ways. I also see a lot of women organising that probably wouldn't have been, that gives me hope.

Onwards sisters!

A couple of women in my bookclub who are not fully TRA but definitely agree with wearing rainbow lanyards, pronouns in emails, and TW should be able to play in women's sports. Didn't get as far as 'discussing' toilets, single sex health provisions, prisons or trans children. They are NHS/University employees.
Another friend who is just a 'be kind' person, and doesn't really think beyond this to the practicalities.
A couple of of other friends are GC but not vocal about it.

Yes. At work. A 60 year old transwoman. I am scared of them, not because they are trans, but they are prone to aggressive outbursts but seem immune to usual policies due to their trans 'status' (no GRC).

Yup. A full on “TWAW and anyone who says otherwise is an evil monster terf”. I tried to reason with him once and I thought he was going to blow a fuse - the arrogance of a man believing that he has the right to tell women that they’ve got their feminism and views on matters which affect women “wrong” is mind boggling. He also seems to feel completely OK with calling people fascists and Nazis for having any opinion different from his. We are no longer friends.

(I also suspect he might be one of our monitors <waves two fingers> )

I know a few. One is a former colleague, straight, partnered to a woman. The others are female and all writers. They are scary people.

This. I don't know anyone who doesn't agree with me on this.

Quite a few, some former friends are now they-thems. I miss them but can’t really see a way back, as I can’t risk socialising with them any more in case the issue comes up.

Yeah I sadly know more than a handful of proper TRAs who blithely post about punching people for not 100% agreeing with their stuff, sharing it etc. Which is why I keep getting called something that rhymes with turf, despite having never actually aired my views on this subject to anyone. I would just delete/block but I remember them from their pre-TRA days and keep holding out for the scales to fall. I'd say of the people I know, it's about 50% blokes who are too left to be incels (but just as misogynistic) and 50% transwomen.

I have one friend in particular who surprised me in the twaw views. She's a lesbian so you'd think she would understand same sex attraction more than anyone (never dated a man, however he identifies, so I actually think she perhaps does get it on some level).

She's very into the whole woke silliness so I suppose I should've seen it coming. She posted some daft comments about men in women's sports around the whole UPenn swimming debacle.

Lost a lot of respect for my friend that day.

I work with a trans person who themselves acknowledge the problems with self ID and prisons/sports etc.

Yep. I met the individual when we were doing the new mums baby group thing and they were still going by female pronouns and heavily into extended breastfeeding etc. They had three sons and then split from the father of all the kids - went through a period of being asexual and then non-binary and posting more and more extreme TRA type content on social media... then came out as male, started hormones and had a hysterectomy and are now in a relationship with another individual who I think defines as non-binary or male (my brain got sick of the mental gymnastics by this point).

Poor kids who were previously the centre of their world no longer get a mention unless it's to praise them for never once misgendering - gender identity and trans rights is all that seems to matter.

I think they're autistic - they fixated heavily on topics (mainly fandoms and fan fics) in the past before getting sucked into the TRA vortex. Unfortunately for them their most previous fixation was Harry Potter which has caused quite a big dilemma for them in terms of how they've had to pivot toward Potter being the source of all evil now.

Wouldn’t this thread be moved here if it was originally posted on aibufor example? @Genegenieee
’AIBU to think that TW are not actually women’. No chance.

oooh. This is like the game show, Jeopardy.

’Who is Jameela Jamil?’

Yes. She is a 31 yr old beautiful woman

Echo chamber or the silent majority?

Most thinking people know that humans can’t actually change sex.

Plenty. Not sure you get representative views from this board, it's a bit of an echo chamber

Do you think your particular filter bubble is likely to be "representative"?

Plenty. Not sure you get representative views from this board, it's a bit of an echo chamber

Yet, here you are.

Yes. Both are men aged 30-60 from backgrounds of financial privilege. One has a massive chip on their shoulder and is quite clearly neurodivergent (I suspect ASD and ADHD) but undiagnosed. Sometimes I consider telling 'her' that an ASD diagnosis will be much more useful than a trans identity. Classic case of failure to launch, clutching at straws, trying to find a way to live and work in a neurotypical world.

The other has been living as a woman for decades, surgery, the lot. A very vocal online campaigner who was reasonable and moderate but seems to have been emboldened by the online vitriol and is showing an unpleasant streak of misogyny which was better concealed before.

Plenty. Not sure you get representative views from this board, it's a bit of an echo chamber

I live on the same street as MtF and FtM couple. The male transitioner is an actual full time activist who does it as a job.

They’ve (accidentally) made all my neighbours GC.
I do my gardening in a ‘Hands Off My Rights’ T shirt that I got when flyering for Fair Play For Women during the GRA reform consultation. My activist neighbour won’t even make eye contact with me.

aaah yes. I personally do not know of one, but a close friend is the grandmother to a child (an adopted biological girl who suffered extreme abuse in her early years from her birth family) who has decided she/he is trans. The adoptive mother (my friend's daughter) is totally on board with it and they are discussing mastectomies. My friend's belief (and tbh honest mine) is that this child who is not yet 12 ought to receive extensive therapy and support for her significant trauma rather than heading first for the puberty blockers and the surgery. Because a girl child on the cusp of puberty who has been subjected to rape and incest is probably deeply fearful of everything her body represents and this might be the root of her desire to be a boy.

That's just my gut feeling though.

No. I know some people who pay lip service to the TWAW argument but they have admitted privately it is because the 'debate' is so toxic it might be harmful to their career if they say anything else.

I have a paid up 'be kind' cousin who used to be a committed feminist and probably would still describe herself as one- but she recently admitted she thinks the TRAs are self sabotaging and slightly disturbing and that women's prisons should be for biological women only so i assume this means the penny is starting to drop.

Not many, most seem to dwell on social media. Most people think its nonsense.

I did know someone who was a transman and was a hard-core TRA.
They lived in a fantasy world where gay men would arrive and sweep them off their feet. (Which of cause never happened, gay men being gay).
They also believed they could be possessed by ghosts.

What is incredible was anyone ever took them seriously.

Both my sisters are adamantly TWAW. But neither of them will actually discuss things like women's sports or women's prisons ( ever mind loos/changing rooms). They just flounce out the room with a "ugh, I can't even TALK to you about this" 🙄

I know one, a former colleague, middle aged man, not the brightest but seemed a nice guy. Began transitioning to TW and still seemed OK but seems to have become increasingly radicalised, now full on TRA, posting nasty stuff about Terfs on Twitter. I give him a wide berth now. I know his partner who has been really supportive but it's all about him and she seems quite trapped, mental health not good. I find it all really sad.

My teenage children are not TWAW. The youngest thinks it is becoming less popular/fashionable in her age group 13-15. Some who were calling her transphobic for not believing it possible to change sex in the immediate post covid return to school now reject the ideology. It was a child who declared the emperor naked after all, I think they see through the attempt to acquire special status.

It seems to be popular with middle class, high achieving girls age 17–19 who tend to look down on their “basic” peers. They identify as queer or non binary. Some describe themselves as non-binary and attracted to non-men. I’m told that in this age group the females who identify as men, are exclusively SEND and often wear ear defenders.

It doesn’t seem to be a particularly popular ideology with many of the boys.