CAHMs therapist using trans name for DD

Except the emails sent to the OP refer to her daughter as her son. So clearly that's what is on the system.

And I don't know if you work in CAMHS but in my extensive experience, they get 90% of things wrong 100% of the time so I'd be amazed if they were capable of maintaining two names and sexes and remembering which was which.

Agreeing with young people that they were born in the wrong body and organising their life around that belief is not a low risk thing to do. It’s a serious psychological intervention based on denial and avoidance. Believing their happiness is conditional on denying reality puts young people in a fragile state, dependent on the pretence of others for their psychological wellbeing. Affirmation feels like such a relief, but it’s a seductive illusion.”

This is what happened with my DD, but as we weren’t allowed in on any sessions, we had no idea. Her behaviour and mood deteriorated so significantly that we removed her. Best decision we ever made

@TheClogLady that doesn't mean that the child's name is now recorded differently on the system. Where I work there's a bit for preferred name and this doesn't change the legal name and gender so wouldn't mean that they now have a boys name on the system just means that the admin staff would know that this is the name to use

they would have told the admin staff what to send/say.

Exactly. hence the boy name now being recorded in the system.

She already is encouraging her on a path to transition. The therapist has made this decision for you despite explicit instruction to the contrary. I would tell off the therapist very clearly both verbally and in writing, then put in a formal written complaint to whoever the therapist reports to.

I wouldn’t continue with the therapist, I’m afraid she’s actively harmful to your child. Affirmation is not a neutral act.

“Agreeing with young people that they were born in the wrong body and organising their life around that belief is not a low risk thing to do. It’s a serious psychological intervention based on denial and avoidance. Believing their happiness is conditional on denying reality puts young people in a fragile state, dependent on the pretence of others for their psychological wellbeing. Affirmation feels like such a relief, but it’s a seductive illusion.” Rest of article in link below.

www.transgendertrend.com/teenager-says-theyre-transgender/

@TheClogLady fair enough if that's the case but emails often come from the clinician doing the assessment of they would have told the admin staff what to send/say.

@BlueWhippets it’s an email from CAHMS with all the forms attached. CAHMS have dedicated admin staff so it’s hugely unlikely that the person OPs daughter spoke to and the person who sent the email are the same person.

@ArabellaScott Yeah it isn't clear. I suppose not using the preferred name on the email even if it is only to the parents would seem a bit disingenuous plus if the young person saw it that would be a bit betrayal of trust. And using the same preferred name throughout gives some continuity I guess

@TheClogLady I'd assumed it was just a normal email sent by the therapist, no templates or anything etc so wouldn't have to override anything

Why does everyone keep referring to this person as a therapist? They are not a therapist.

I do think you should contact them OP and insist that her correct legal name is used on all emails/documents to you - with dd I'd let them call her what they like for the few sessions they see her. DS was diagnosed in 45 minutes straight so I can't see it going on long if they have any idea what they're doing which to be fair CAHMS often don't seem to (in a bit of postcode lottery luck we didn't have to go through them).

LOL.

it’s not a gender appointment, it’s an ASD diagnostic appointment.

the child is 14 and CAMHS are allowed to cut anything off anyone.

the upcoming appointment is a bunch of puzzles, it’s not therapy.

If you believe that you clearly have no idea what you are talking about and it would probably be better you don't comment on areas you are not familiar with.

They are also a lot less inclined to do anything like gender reassignment surgery on autistic individuals

Cripes, that escalated quickly. Plus I've seen absolutely no evidence to suggest this is the case.

This is hogwash.

no it isn’t.

Your child cannot legally change their name but can go by another name if they wish, the therapist is respecting that. Using a different name when alone with you could get very confusing. They are also a lot less inclined to do anything like gender reassignment surgery on autistic individuals as feeling like they don't fit into gender stereotypes is a common symptom of autism so that may alleviate some of your fears.

Give it a go for a bit longer, see if they actually help your child before assuming they won't.

Is there any indication that the OP's daughter won't engage with the assessment process unless the therapist uses her new name and pronouns?

A lot of assumptions being made

Sorry for extra full stop; cat is helping me type.

If it’s written on an email it’s clearly part of the admin system - whether it’s overridden the main name of just being used as if it has, we can only speculate.

hence reassuring OP to use legal name on all paperwork and ask why OPs daughter has been unexpectedly (and without express parental permission) transed in the comms.

Well, perhaps! It's a bit unclear. In any case, I don't see why the therapist wouldn'
.t use correct name/sex when emailing parents.

"This isn't therapy though, and they never offer this for ASD. It's an assessment like, say, a dyslexia assessment. The doctor/psychologist needs to get your DD to answer questions but a diagnosis can be made from a nonverbal child so it isn't essential."

This is hogwash. A diagnosis might be made when it is clear from history that the likely cause of an individual being nonverbal is related to the condition, but if the individual has a clear ability to speak in other contexts and chose not to engage in the diagnostic process then a diagnosis would not be made and the practitioner would have no choice but to stop the process.

OP please don't jeopardise your child's opportunity to get a diagnosis and the subsequent support they could benefit from as soon as possible.

@ArabellaScott it doesn't sound like the legal name and gender have been changed on the system though, just referred to them by the name they had been asked to be referred by in an email to parents

How is a therapist supposed to build trust with your daughter if they don’t respect her enough to use her preferred name?
@Countingdowntodecember
This isn't therapy though, and they never offer this for ASD. It's an assessment like, say, a dyslexia assessment. The doctor/psychologist needs to get your DD to answer questions but a diagnosis can be made from a nonverbal child so it isn't essential.
We were at CAMHS for my DS ADHD review today and the paediatrician couldn't get his name right after seeing it, presumably, on the clinic letter 2 minutes previously though. So maybe act dumb and say "this is wrong, I think you're a bit confused". DS has a long slightly unusual name and we've had both the shortened form (which we never use, think Maximilian and they use Maxie) and the name that sounds similar but is more common and isn't his name (think Benedict and they use Frederick - the similar name doesn't start with the same sound even).

True. So OP could email therapist and clarify that they are aware of her DD's correct name and sex, and clarify why they are using a different set of info.

Not trusting the person doing the assessment is a big reason to not consent. Also depends where the name and gender have been changed. Most of the time it's clear that this is the young persons preferred name and pronouns but their legal name and legal gender are still on the document

Well, they might. But if we're talking in random hypotheticals, the young person could decide not to consent for just about any reason. Doesn't seem to be a sensible argument for changing their name and sex on documentation. At all.