Parents with inconvenient truths about trans

I've seen the same thing with this too. A person I know through a family connection - a child psychologist - asks her daughter every day whether she feels like a girl or boy.

How the daughter is meant to know what a girl or boy sounds like isn't questioned.

Obviously we can't really engage with or discuss the article because it contains some very, very uncomfortable and unwanted evidence.

I respect this poor woman's own terms for her experience, since lived experience and people's voices are supposed to matter. And deleting their voices does not make the issues go away.

we were also told that transgender identity takes a few years to develop in children. They told us that during this period, it is very important to protect the child's transgender identity, and therefore, you must eliminate contact with any family or friends who do not support this identity or go along with it."

Which is treating this as the most important thing in the world. What if the person who is 'eliminated' is a source of comfort, advice, healthy relationships, what if they are warm and kind, what if they help and support in myriad other ways?

This demand for perfection and adherence isn't conducive to children learning about diverse opinions and positions. There's no critical thinking any more.

So despite their claim that social contagion doesn't exist, and you can't make someone trans if they're not 'really trans', they believe that you can make someone who is 'really trans' not trans if they aren't constantly affirmed.
It's all a bit inconsistent. Like everything else about gender ideology.

Ain't that the truth, they contradict themselves every time they open their mouths.

For me this shows the importance of open debate.

Everything about this woman's identity - her friend group, her political beliefs - required her full belief in gender ideology. She and her partner were celebrated for announcing their child was trans, and told to remove anybody who questioned this new trans identity from their lives.

It took courage for her and her partner to admit their mistake. But it doesn't look like she actively looked for other information or opinions that contradicted gender ideology until her three year old told her no. If those dissenting voices hadn't been suppressed by everybody in her echo chamber, if it had been ok to question this, then maybe her son would not have had to go through this experience.

I think that's very harsh and not really fair. It's difficult to walk back from this and she's brave to admit her mistakes. Is she supposed to performatively self-flagellate for you? Be glad that she's changed her mind and hope that you have the same humility and courage if it comes to it.

That article! OMFG. So misguided and also rather controlling even if wrapped up in all that attachment stuff. I wonder if the author of the article is also autistic, it's odd this clinging onto schemata, if its' not the social justice stuff, it's the attachment philosophy. Her parenting doesn't seem intuitive and instinctive but all led by theories and trendy philosophies. Poor children, I'm sorry to say that the parents can't be terribly bright and I think that based on her writing she is incredibly navel gazing and self-centred. Ultimately the parents have no common sense whatsoever.

@Blister agree, my sympathy is for the children. Not a word of concern from the author about the other children mentioned in the article. Still, at least they came back from it, hopefully before too much damage was done.

I expect they're afraid. Or recognise they'd be wasting their time.

One of my work colleagues told the catering staff she was gluten intolerant then found out she wasn't, but was too embarrassed to admit it, so now eats nothing but gluten free food at work. People struggle with reversing positions far less drastic than this one.

It is brave of her to admit her mistakes but I only grudgingly want to recognise this.

It only hit home when SHE was personally affected. Only when SHE could see the harm without the shadow of a doubt.

I know first hand that cult thinking (her words) is difficult to see through but my sympathy for those who only see through near-misses is also difficult to rouse.

It's all about gender stereotypes. While they say it's not all about stereotypes but the only things they ever seem to point out are stereotypes. I mean, basically, their other son couldn't possible be trans because he was masculine and liked boy things. Yet because the other kid was sensitive etc he was? But it's not about stereotypes?

Is that the generalisation that's been made?

Fantastic piece that deserves sharing widely. I admire their honesty. What a horrific mess we are creating with this stuff.

“A woman is someone with a female body and any personality, not someone with a female personality and any body”,

I wish the trans brigade could see this.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius I really resonate with this. My child has completely taken the view that she's male and has now embarked on hormones, binding, etc. Whenever I looked at her growing up, I never thought 'boy'. I thought 'kick-ass girl.' I didn't have the vocabulary or the courage (she was self-harming, saying that I hated her - and her dad supported her) to keep pushing back.

But mum!
Oh alright...

This really replicated a family I knew well who trans-ed their pre-school child. They kept asking whether she felt like a girl or a boy, but when she'd answer "girl" (her real sex), they'd try again later. As soon as she said "boy" they were all over it, so much attention, so much the impression it was the right answer, didn't ask again.

They talk as if it was child led, to people who didn't know them before, like their DC came up with it out of nowhere, but they asked her all the time - it was insane.

It’s brave of her to admit she was wrong though - I think sometimes that’s the issue with this type of topic. People feel there’s no way to back down gracefully as it’s embarrassing. It reminds me of the movie Dogma if anyone’s seen that, where one character says he prefers ideas to beliefs because ideas are easy to change but beliefs become part of who you are so it’s difficult to change them as it feels like betraying your principles. I think a lot of people feel like that - if I change my mind am I still the same person? Type of thing.

At the nursery I work in we often make the kids line up in smaller groups to avoid a stampede to the outdoor play area. Sometimes we’ll say ‘if your name begins with A’ and do it by letter. Sometimes ‘if you are wearing wellies.’ Sometimes ‘if you are a boy please line up/if you are a girl.’

Inevitably no matter what you do Isaac will try to line up with the ‘if your name begins with A’ and Alice will go with her sandals to line up with the ‘if you are wearing wellies’ and Evie will line up with the ‘if you are a boy.‘ Because they are preschoolers. Their comprehension skills are still developing, their sense of self and identity is still fluid and often confused by their lack of understanding. So how on earth does it come to a 3 year old being sure they are born in the wrong body, when most of them don’t have a clue what day of the week it is at circle time?

Wow this is such an important piece. Im a social worker and the ways my colleagues and other professionals fall all over themselves to be socially “progressive” around gender, the way parents are patronized and sidelined and the cult like quality of it all makes me very alarmed.

I think people should bookmark this article. And read it.

This is a really important article, and the writer is brave to admit to her mistakes. It was heartbreaking to read her realisation of how she was harming her children by doing what she thought was right "for the world". So sad. Thank goodness she came to her senses, and thank God she's been honest enough to share this.

So despite their claim that social contagion doesn't exist, and you can't make someone trans if they're not 'really trans', they believe that you can make someone who is 'really trans' not trans if they aren't constantly affirmed.

It's all a bit inconsistent. Like everything else about gender ideology.