Parents with inconvenient truths about trans

Just bumping this in case there are still some parents who haven't read it.

Critcycle so sorry to read your experience, hopefully in time your son will come back to you

Because financial scams operate like cults. Its all about isolating vulnerable people from other opinions and critical thought and applying coercive pressure to control behaviour. It's the evangelical stuff that prays on fear of missing out.

Critical thought protects people.

We live in an era where critical thought is being actively discouraged.

What struck me was the similarity in their story to a financial scam. Often people who are caught out are those who think they are the most careful - in this case they considered themselves very open minded. Then there is the panic - if you don't transfer the money, you could lose it all/ if you don't transition your child immediately, irreparable harm will be done. Don't tell your bank why you are transferring the money, there are criminals working there/ don't speak to any family members who don't back you up, they are working to undermine this vital thing you are doing. Then as the doubts creep in there is self denial and you frantically look for evidence you are right until the reality hits and you realise it was all a con.

My inconvenient truth about trans

Transition in the modern era is nothing more than a weapon against gay people,when me and my ex got divorced the court ruled that he would have full custody of my son he was was 10 at the time - 4 years later he came out as gay to my ex husband. A couple of years after that my husband took him to Tavistock, my son is now 18 and lives as a “Straight woman”. The inconvenient truth is that gender ideology has opened up a gateway for homophobic fathers to trans the gay away.

I don't talk to my son or my ex-husband much anymore because I am ”transphobic”. I really do hope that one day my son comes to his senses and will talk to me again. What gender ideology has done to my family has destroyed me.

They told us that during this period, it is very important to protect the child's transgender identity, and therefore, you must eliminate contact with any family or friends who do not support this identity or go along with it.

This is really chilling.

Much as I want to bang my head against a wall for the gullibility of the parent getting sucked into this in the first place, getting out can't have been easy, so kudos to her for that.

Good for those parents for turning things around. Must've been an incredibly difficult decision to make. I know we're not allowed to use the "c" word but perhaps I can get away with a couple of quotes from the article.

"At one of the support groups we attended, we were also told that transgender identity takes a few years to develop in children. They told us that during this period, it is very important to protect the child's transgender identity, and therefore, you must eliminate contact with any family or friends who do not support this identity or go along with it."

"This experience for me has felt like leaving a cult, a cult that would have me sacrifice my child to the gods of gender ideology, in the name of social justice and collective liberation. I have left this cult, and I am never turning back."

Another bump.

Bumping to keep this visible.

If you are talking about the same person as me, they and their pals were involved in a high profile situation which involved someone getting kicked out of the LDs and was reported about in the Times.

Very much institutionalised bullying.

this is an amazing window into therapy and trans support.

It’s worrying that vulnerable people with autism are more likely to assume they are trans (possibly to do with black and white thinking around male and female roles/presentation. Also feeling out of step socially).

Just adding to pp, my toddler misgenders constantly, even to very obvious children and is convinced both he and granddad are pregnant.

I know exactly who you mean. They were involved in publicly bullying someone at Pride. They and their mates specifically target "Terfs" over and above actual transphobes. Something about labelling and denouncing people as the wrong kind of feminists clearly appeals to them more than tackling actual issues. I find it depressing.

This is such a good example. Perfect illustration.

How do you unpick that?

Christ. I have no idea. What a disgrace.

As has been pointed out, this mother doesn't seem to know how to think for herself. She went with Woke ideology, and then moved to believing what she read about "attachment". There has to be a theory for her to follow, apparently.

One of the autism charities in Manchester has a prominent TRA who is a prominent LD activist as one of its leading activists.

How do you unpick that?

Just to add, what’s worrying is that these days, if all this was happening and I’d said to his teachers “Oh he’s feeling like he identifies as a girl at the moment”, they possibly would have just taken my word for it and started referring to him as ‘she’, and almost rebranding (sorry don’t know if correct word) him as a girl in the class to the other pupils.
And then possibly the pressure of beginning puberty blockers - doesn’t bear thinking about.

I think there’s a psychological word for it - when people go along with something they know is incorrect because other people are going along with it. They change their initial answer to fit in. Maybe that’s part of it?

But in this case, I think the parents were too busy wanting to be ‘queer’ and ‘progressive’ for the sake of their self-image rather than the approval of others. A gay friend does that. It’s posing for points. The more Likes he gets, the more ‘progressive’ he is. Some people are really hung up on their image because they have a weak sense of who they are.

I just can't understand why common sense doesn't kick in at some point.

Children think all kinds of crazy things about their identity. It doesn't mean we take them as gospel.

There have been kids gravitating towards stuff more stereotypically associated with the opposite sex since the dawn of time, to no great implications.

Haven't we all felt uncomfortable in our bodies at some points in our lives?

Do these things not occur to parents heading down this road? Are they that limited in their thinking? Or do they override these thoughts for the cool points?

Your comment really resonates. 20 odd years ago my son aged from 3-4 went through a stage of wanting his quite long hair in pigtails, he liked wearing dresses, he used to take my heels out of my room and try them on. Sometimes when we were out, people would assume he’s a girl and be shocked when I told them he’s a boy. He did look very “girly” due to his features so I can see why people thought it.

At no stage did I ever think any of this meant he was “really” a girl. It was unthinkable. He was born a boy, was happy describing himself as a boy, and no one else ever suggested he might be a girl trapped inside a boy’s body.

I dread to think these days what kind of pressure he would have come under. He’s now an adult, very much happily a straight man, he likes to experiment with nails and makeup occasionally when going out, but is very obviously a man, and I’m just so relieved he was born when he was, otherwise I’m certain that at school he’d have been under pressure from certain influences trying to tell him or me that he may be trans.

I worry so much for the similar young boys and girls growing up today.

At around 3, my son used to wear a dress. At roughly the same age my daughter would put a toy car in her pants and say 'look I have a penis '! Spoiler alert - I hadn't accidentally got their bodies the wrong way round in my womb. They have both turned out perfectly happy with their biological sex.

My sibling transitioned later in life.

One of the biggest problems there's been for me is my mother's role in this.

When we were little she made a huge deal about how we had 'been born the wrong way round and I should have been the boy and he should have been the girl'.

I'm older and it resonated. It affected me in my late teens and early twenty.

My sibling said that he had 'felt like this since he was a child'. From right slap back in the middle of when my mother was constantly saying this.