I feel conflicted on job role as a woman

Very good advice.

Also noting this post by gospelsinger

"I imagine carers and district nurses often drive more than an hour away, are often alone and may do heavy lifting. They will be out when it's dark, visiting people in their homes. Most will be women."

Yes, you are correct. The same is true of many other health professionals and social care workers in the community - most of whom are women.

OP - part of the issue you have about this is that you are framing key aspects of the job as "men's work" simply because most delivery drivers are men.

However, those key aspects are common to jobs that are predominantly done by women.

In the case of health professionals and care workers we do not get to just drop off a parcel at a door but spend time indoors in strange houses, often with people we have never met before, plus unexpected animals, visitors, etc.

I would routinely travel about a hundred miles, often to remote rural areas, much of the year leaving home in the dark, visiting other people's homes in the dark, driving in the dark and getting back home in the dark. Lifting heavy equipment also came into it and I also had to unload all the equipment at the end of the day, rather than driving back with an empty vehicle.

I am not suggesting you should be complacent or take risks but I do think that the reaction of your female customer was a mite OTT and has skewed your perceptions a bit. It has got you focussing on the fact that most delivery drivers are men - rather than recognising that many women work under similar conditions in other, more traditionally female jobs.

Your employer should have a risk assessment and a duty of care.
It's why some jobs are always done with backups, or in tandem, body cams, harness etc I.e. someone like yourself raised the issue and CRUCIALLY it was listened to and acted on.

You might find that second part harder. OSHA is easier to quantify than perceived safety.

I imagine carers and district nurses often drive more than an hour away, are often alone and may do heavy lifting. They will be out when it's dark, visiting people in their homes. Most will be women.

Trying to address the OP question: you’re not being silly, of course you’re more vulnerable and of course it’s precisely because you’re a woman.

Some self defence skills wouldn’t hurt, provided they don’t give you a false sense of security. Even with exceptional martial skills the average height/weight woman is merely getting away at best. They won’t be knocking out even a fairly diminutive bloke.

And men targeting women sadly isn’t going to be expunged from society in our working life time so wishing it was different doesn’t mean much for todays decisions.

You have a realistic view of the risks and on balance you enjoy it enough to take those risks so if anything you sound like the right kind of advocate.

334bu, when one is properly trained, the sense of security is not “false”, it’s genuine.
My DD took krav maga and now volunteers to provide security at feminist meetings.
Saying that a self defence course to boost confidence is “dangerous advice” is patently silly. What do you suggest instead - remain permanently defenceless and terrified?

10 posts in, not bad. Normally the 'what about men!!' Starts much sooner

👏

OSHA explain why men are more likely to have fatal accidents at work; its because of safety violations. Either by their employer or because workers themselves disregard H&S.
workinjurysource.com/workplace-injury-statistics-injury-rates-common-work-injuries/

The threat of women is not something lone male workers have to worry about.

This is exactly the issue.

An example. When I started they had bags that would take up to 40 kg of materials like sand etc. Everyone except the ex army guys would struggle with these and there was a Machi culture of being too sissy to carry them.when I was promoted I ordered half size bags, iteamt we had to take 2 samples for each 1 of the old bags but we could lift them, the plastic could actually be a lighter gauge and they were actually cheaper. All the ex army guys took the piss but all the younger lads actually thanked me for this because it actually caused them as much pain as they caused me.

She handles heavy boxes magnificently! 🤷‍♀️

My local DPD delivery person is a woman, I’ve a bit of a crush on her 🤭

Absolutely this!

Do more men die at work because they are more likely to be in an industry that uses heavy machinery, working at height etc than women? These are male dominated environments, but surely a woman doing the exact same job on that construction site or in that factory is at the exact same risk of death or injury.

yes, it is true that men are at more risk from workplace accidents, as you say. But if women did exactly the same jobs, they would be at more risk, mainly because of the equipment not being made to fit their physical requirements. The book Invisible Women is good for lots on this

"Once you are confident that you can incapacitate any attacker, you will able to relax and enjoy your job. You will also not be giving off any “vulnerable” vibes or nervous body language, for predators to pick up."

I think this is quite dangerous advice and might give someone a false sense of security.

Could you carry a personal alarm?

I am always so pleased when a woman turns up for deliveries.

In a thread about women in jobs, you had to bring up 'what about men'.

Can we not just for once in a fucking lifetime have a thread about women?

OP I agree with you. I worked in construction in the 90s, and had to go to various places on my own, to take soil samples, pick up this and that, drop off stuff and that's well before mobile phones. I then worked in a mobile job where I'd have to go to construction companies, many of which of the smaller companies were based at their home addresses. And we did install a buddy system and used various techniques to make sure someone knew where we were and what to do if we weren't out by a certain time.

These days if I was a manager of a mobile team I'd have some sort of group on what's app or something just for the end of day meetings so that we could sign in and off each day just to be sure. It would be quite easy to manage, postcodes and times in, and report that you are out each time you leave a meeting or venue.

Obviously I'd do it for all the team.

OP, if you are concerned re the possibility of attack during a remote delivery, why not take a self defence course?
Something like krav maga will teach you how to drop any size of opponent to the floor, allowing you time to escape to your van and drive away.
It also teaches how to break a choke hold when grabbed from behind.
Once you are confident that you can incapacitate any attacker, you will able to relax and enjoy your job. You will also not be giving off any “vulnerable” vibes or nervous body language, for predators to pick up.

no the world is not fair or equal: women are more vulnerable to some crimes and it's not fair.

Women are vulnerable primarily to men's crimes and men are the majority of perpetrators.

Its dreadful if men are injured or killed at work. Obviously.

But let's not kid ourselves it's the same as risks women may face from men due to biology differences. Mainly coz it tends not to be a deliberate act .

What if scenarios are the very basis of good safeguarding policies. Most businesses should have a lone worker policy and since the awful disappearance of Suzy Lamplugh, these policies should also take into account the added risks lone female workers dace.

Males are probably not actually safer - overall men are more at risk of stranger danger

Yes certain types of assault but not all

It’s a thread where someone suggested that women, being more vulnerable, are excluded from some jobs. It’s hardly unrelated to point out that if that were really the case then there are an awful lot of jobs that men would be excluded from too.

There is no reason for the OP not to be a delivery driver. Bringing up “what if” scenarios about very unlikely events doesn’t make much sense.

Women are more vulnerable than men in certain ways, it’s a fact of human nature that we’re stuck with. Life isn’t fair, all you can do is try to assess risks and use common sense when it comes to your personal safety - which goes for men as well as women.

I used to work in a job that meant going to some possibly dodgy houses after dark. I was pretty confident so I never worried. However, I remember once going to a three storey block of flats at 4.30 in winter so it was dark. The hall lights were on timers and gave the residents enough time to get from the lift to their door, and then switched off. I went to the third floor and knocked on the door of a man that could gave been polite or a nutter - I didn't know. And the lights went off. I realised for the first time what a perilous situation I was putting myself in. It's scary and it deflates your confidence.

You have to remember that it's highly inlikely anything will ever happen but you need to put in a system that leaves you protected. That could be having 999 on your phone ready to be pressed immediately. Telling a colleague where you are, or having them on an open line so they can listen to your conversations.

Women definitely are more vulnerable so we need always to minimise our risk. The only person I can remember being attacked was a male colleague, although I did have things thrown at me!

Do more men die at work because they are more likely to be in an industry that uses heavy machinery, working at height etc than women? These are male dominated environments, but surely a woman doing the exact same job on that construction site or in that factory is at the exact same risk of death or injury.

A male lorry driver however is not at the same level at risk doing the exact same as a woman for the reasons given.