Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

How to complain about Drag Queen Story Time

181 replies

ElizabethJaneHenchard · 18/08/2022 14:17

I'm going to a venue tonight that is hosting the Drag Queen Story Time later this year.
How do I complain about this, without seeming like a right-wing reactionary?
Do I hand in a letter, talking about safeguarding concerns, or how should I approach it? I will obviously be boycotting the venue from now on, if they have such a weak grasp of safeguarding, but I would like to do more than that.
What would you suggest?

OP posts:
PeriodBro · 19/08/2022 12:52

Also worth noting that the Daily Star pixellated the photo of children's heads before publishing. But Flojob didn't.

ElizabethJaneHenchard · 19/08/2022 12:52

sashh · 19/08/2022 09:13

Dear Venue,

I have some concerns over the upcoming 'drag queen story time' so I'd like you to clarify somethings for me.

What is the educational value of this event? If it is connected to diversity then will you be offering 'Storytime' with other people eg those employed in certain professions or people from minority ethnic groups?

Has this particular Queen had any complaints made against him? I have seen online some other events that I do not think are suitable for children eg a 'monkey' brandishing a large sex toy and another where it became apparent the queen was not wearing underwear and inadvertently flashed some of the audience.

Will there be any physical contact between the queen and any children? If so then is the queen DBS checked?

I realise that queens tailor their acts depending on the audience, however if I were to look up the queen with my child online would the material I found be suitable for a young child to view?

I look forward to your response.

Thank you @sashh this is exactly what I want to say. IMO, drag is for adults and not suitable at all for children. I think a story time with a trans man or woman would be a great idea, but I imagine that would be too sensible and not nearly exciting enough.

Thank you to all the posters who understand my concerns. To those who don't get it - I am neither bigoted or right-wing; I know you don't believe me, but I actually don't care. My only care is for the safety of children.

OP posts:
PeriodBro · 19/08/2022 12:51

Echobelly · 19/08/2022 12:34

How to complain? Don't.

If you don't like a performer in a funny outfit reading a story, you don't have to go. You don't have to take your kids.

Most drag queen performances are not suitable for children, this is true. But drag performers also know the difference between performing at a pub in Hoxton and reading stories to pre schoolers, it's their job to know this kid of thing.

www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/xxx-rated-drag-queen-called-21563900

Flojob posted pictures of Flojob reading to children on Flojob's insta. Also on Flojob's insta - pictures of Flojob sucking a dildo, wearing a ballgag, joking about drugs, etc.

So that's one performer - endorsed and supported by a well known MP! - who doesn't seem to understand boundaries and not to mix their adult and child-oriented performances.

Apollo442 · 19/08/2022 12:40

Echobelly · 19/08/2022 12:34

How to complain? Don't.

If you don't like a performer in a funny outfit reading a story, you don't have to go. You don't have to take your kids.

Most drag queen performances are not suitable for children, this is true. But drag performers also know the difference between performing at a pub in Hoxton and reading stories to pre schoolers, it's their job to know this kid of thing.

How is it 'their job' to know what is suitable for children. They are adult entertainers. Please enlighten us to how they acquire these additional skills.

Igmum · 19/08/2022 12:40

Agree with all of these concerns. Why would any sane parent take their toddlers to see [sexual innuendo name] adult sexualised performers who have erections in front of children, teach them to twerk, get them to lie on top of them and have explicit web pages. FFS.

If you want diverse story time get a trans woman in a dress, a trans man in trousers, LGB, disabled, BME readers but DON'T expose children to sex acts.

Echobelly · 19/08/2022 12:34

How to complain? Don't.

If you don't like a performer in a funny outfit reading a story, you don't have to go. You don't have to take your kids.

Most drag queen performances are not suitable for children, this is true. But drag performers also know the difference between performing at a pub in Hoxton and reading stories to pre schoolers, it's their job to know this kid of thing.

Alltheprettyseahorses · 19/08/2022 12:24

Incidentally, the original roots of drag are in late 19th/early 20th C blackface or to be more accurate blackwomanface.

ThickCutSteakChips · 19/08/2022 11:58

The point is, predators will always look for the chinks in the armour, the loop holes, the places where adults are not paying full attention. It's what they do. Children's entertainment was historically quite a good place for people who wanted access to kids, indeed I remember a bloke who did kids discos round our way was eventually convicted assaulting a child. But with DBS checks, online safety etc things have moved on.

But a predator might look at DQST and see how anyone objecting is vilified and dismissed. How it is framed as 'bigotry' to question an adult man teaching pre schoolers to twerk. How a bloke dressed up as a monkey with a dildo hanging from his groin is seen by some as 'just a bit of fun' and totally appropriate for children, and how anyone who questions this is just a 'far right pearl clutcher'. They might look at how certain drag performers who read to kids get away with having sexualised content on their public socials, and they will know that the adults involved are not paying full attention, that this could possibly be somewhere where they will not be questioned, where they might be able to hide in plain sight and get away with things they may not get away with in other situations.

And that is when problems arise....

334bu · 19/08/2022 11:38

CheeseyToasts · Yesterday 22:25

Well you are being a right wing reactionary

Fifth post in Dancing bear.

"I hardly think it's 'McCarthyite' to call out this kind of casual bigotry. There is a conversation to be had here. But characterising people who choose to present differently as perverts who are unsafe around kids shouldn't be part of it."

Drag Queen Storytime originated in the US and has had numerous incidents where people involved in this have been convicted of sex offences. One would hope that that could not happen here, however there are genuine concerns about some of the UK performances where children's photos have been posted online, where photos of storytime have been posted alongside more adult content and where photos appear to show contact with children which some might consider inappropriate. It is not bigoted or indeed right wing to express concerns.

thedancingbear · 19/08/2022 11:35

Musomama1 · 19/08/2022 11:29

You're reading this statement as anti trans when you say 'Choosing to present differently'. Drag Queen's are not trans, they are not 'choosing to present differently' they put on clothing as befits their act, then they take them off afterwards.

I'd be a bit bummed out too if a scantily clad stripper was presenting in front of a really young audience.

So you're happy with the characterisation of drag artists as:

men wearing women face, maybe sporting erections, in close proximity to small children

then?

To be clear, that's the only post I was challenging. And I've replied to posts that have responded to that challenge.

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 19/08/2022 11:31

Comparing panto with drag is dishonest.

As ever, there may be a need to consider the competence or integrity of the person making a claim. You will see here that Margarita P is so keen to stick to MP's preferred version of events that MP introduces a link that contradicts MP's assertion in the 2nd sentence of the story and goes on to give more details as to why MP's version is wrong.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4523725--1k-fine-for-attack-on-a-17-year-old-girl?reply=116439830

As for the above conflation of panto and drag, MP has introduced that many times and has never engaged with material that is not in line with pre-existing cognitive biases.

Musomama1 · 19/08/2022 11:29

You're reading this statement as anti trans when you say 'Choosing to present differently'. Drag Queen's are not trans, they are not 'choosing to present differently' they put on clothing as befits their act, then they take them off afterwards.

I'd be a bit bummed out too if a scantily clad stripper was presenting in front of a really young audience.

thedancingbear · 19/08/2022 11:21

Musomama1 · 19/08/2022 11:15

This is basically 'no debate', to even question DQST equals bigotry and transphobia to some joyriding posters. It's like a McCarthyism scare tactic and it doesn't really work.

It's actually really really simply, many people including lefties, lesbians, parents under 50, even drag queens question the wisdom and suitability of adult entertainers in entertaining small children. They would b doing exactly the same thing if Pole Dancers put on a storytime with a message of female empowerment.

You'll find that the allegation of bigotry and transphobia was limited to this post:

My tolerance is stretched to the limit by men wearing women face, maybe sporting erections, in close proximity to small children. Who'd have thunk it?

I hardly think it's 'McCarthyite' to call out this kind of casual bigotry. There is a conversation to be had here. But characterising people who choose to present differently as perverts who are unsafe around kids shouldn't be part of it.

Musomama1 · 19/08/2022 11:15

This is basically 'no debate', to even question DQST equals bigotry and transphobia to some joyriding posters. It's like a McCarthyism scare tactic and it doesn't really work.

It's actually really really simply, many people including lefties, lesbians, parents under 50, even drag queens question the wisdom and suitability of adult entertainers in entertaining small children. They would b doing exactly the same thing if Pole Dancers put on a storytime with a message of female empowerment.

ScrollingLeaves · 19/08/2022 11:00

thedancingbear · Today 09:08
”How do I complain about this, without seeming like a right-wing reactionary?”

if the cap fits, wear it.

Plenty of us share concerns about trans ideology. But this is just an exercise in petty intolerance.

If the cap fits wear it? I’d willingly wear a hat saying “No Drag forChildren”

And if Lawrence Fox happens to say the sky is blue when I myself see a blue sky, I won’t disagree that it is blue to signal to my social groups “Look at me. I’m not like Lawrence Fox”.

That is being like a teenager.

ThickCutSteakChips · 19/08/2022 10:30

TotalRhubarb · 19/08/2022 09:29

Those defending Drag Queen Story Time:

what is the benefit to children of it?

What do they get from it that they wouldn’t get from others reading to them?

You won't ever get an answer to this, because it's not for the benefit of the kids. They are not developmentally mature enough to understand drag and its links to LGBT culture. If anything, it's bad for LGBT because the impression it gives young children is that 'LGBT' means 'men dressing up as strange and sometimes frightening versions of women', rather than just that LGBT people are just like everyone else, they just happen to like different things.

ThickCutSteakChips · 19/08/2022 10:26

Oh for fucks sake, how many times does this need hashing out when it's so simple?

The main USP of drag, at least mainstream drag, is sexualised performance parodying women. It is adult entertainment. Whether that floats your boat or not as an adult is up to you.

It is not for children. Any sort of performance from a genre based around sex is totally inappropriate for children. That is the safeguarding risk. Because children are not equipped to understand this stuff, they are not equipped to understand the origins of drag, or the culture of drag. Its just not suitable and they don't really get any particular benefit from DQST that they wouldn't get from anyone else reading them a story. Children are not centred in this, and that is also a safeguarding red flag, when the needs of adults are put above kids.

It's not about whether a particular drag queen is a danger to children, it is about children being exposed to an entertainment genre that is totally unnecessary and inappropriate. We do then have serious safeguarding issues as well, when artists such as Aida H Dee and Flow Job have highly inappropriate sexualised material on their public social media when they are also doing story telling sessions. That would not be allowed with any other genre of children's entertainer, so the fact it is allowed with drag queens is another major safeguarding red flag. Because you cannot have robust safeguarding whilst also have 'untouchable' people who are immune from scrutiny.

But ultimately, drag is not for kids.

thedancingbear · 19/08/2022 10:15

And you're using the same language and arguments that you use to attack trans people every day ('women face'; AGP; not safe around kids).

And the link between trans and drag is as plain as the nose on your face.

jesuistriste · 19/08/2022 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

thedancingbear · 19/08/2022 10:10

ChagSameachDoreen · 19/08/2022 10:06

"Transphobic" has become what "communist" was during the McCarthy era. It can mean anything you want it to mean. Anyone who doesn't agree with you.

My tolerance is stretched to the limit by men wearing women face, maybe sporting erections, in close proximity to small children. Who'd have thunk it?

ChagSameachDoreen · 19/08/2022 10:06

"Transphobic" has become what "communist" was during the McCarthy era. It can mean anything you want it to mean. Anyone who doesn't agree with you.

thedancingbear · 19/08/2022 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ah, that old trope that anyone who disagrees with you must be a TRA.

You're acutely aware that trans, drag, cross dressing are all part of the same picture. You're even talking about it on your own dedicated anti-trans board.

jesuistriste · 19/08/2022 09:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Iadorerain · 19/08/2022 09:41

I think Dancing bear is trying to say that wearing woman face, and sporting erections near children is trans, because non of us said that.

Alltheprettyseahorses · 19/08/2022 09:36

Why is thedancingbear repeatedly conflating drag with trans? This thread is about drag, sexualised adult entertainment that is not suitable for children. Drag is a performance, trans is a protected characteristic eligible for a gender recognition certificate that involves medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria and completely irrelevant to the issue being discussed. Puts their random, meaningless accusations of transphobia into perspective. Or is everything about trans now, especially all the stuff that isn't?