Need to vent!

People equate ‘I don’t kiss his feet’ with ‘hate’.

It is not hateful to say he can have as much make up, bras and skirts as he wants.
It is not hateful to expect him to go out however he wants to dress.

It is not daring to put on lipstick.

And I applaud mumsnet for being here so we can remind men to accept their own sex any which way they dress.

And men thinking they understand what it means to be female because they have a breath of fresh air on their balls actually has an impact on your life in the health statistics alone, never mind the raging arguments in the other areas of life.

That you chose to ignore it because you are not actively being assaulted is on you.

And it is why we rant. Not about him dressing up however he likes but about the clueless hand-clappers who encourage him to believe he understands what women around him deal with daily!

My first thought was ‘HAS to???’ Without breast they ‘needed’ to do nothing of the sort.

My first thought too 🙄

OP has said it's a neighbourhood forum.
Many young women have transitioned and are now detransitioning in large numbers (because actually you cannot change sex) and often silenced because reasons.

What exactly is complex about saying the words "I am a woman" and thus they are a woman now. Nothing else is needed, so it's hardly complex is it.

Women who have transitioned
I assume by this you mean men who have transitioned to women? Usually known as transwomen. If they really are being harmed in great numbers (theres nothing I know of that suggests this is true) why is it womens (cunty type) role to shove up, give up spaces, be the barrier, be abused in our own prisons, be gas lighted about our rape on a female sex ward?

I have to sit on my hands. We post in our real names on that site and so I have to gag myself, silence myself, as I could not cope with the onslaught of abuse I know I would get, the loss of potential friends and customers to my small local business. Yes, I know that makes me a coward and I feel bad about that, as well!

OP - this is important. Imagine how many others are in the same position as you, ranting at the screen, and being silenced due to lack of anonymity? The only people who will be posting will be the clueless virtue signallers.

My first thought was ‘HAS to???’ Without breast they ‘needed’ to do nothing of the sort.

I literally have no idea what a “community neighbourhood forum” is but I apologise for not being able to hate on an 82 year old for and daring to be open about something personal. I don’t feel the need to rant about something like this that makes no impact on my life - you have not said anything directly which says a lot about the situation, you have chosen to share on Mumsnet where it seems this kind of view is reflected and encouraged. Do you not have friends who share similiar views as you you can vent to?

If by "women who have transitioned" you mean people like this 82 year old, then no, they don't face increased risk of violence, domestic or otherwise. You may have seen some stats based on South America where many TW are sex workers (a dangerous occupation for anyone) and have relationships with men (another risk factor, sadly). In the UK I believe the stats show that trans people are pretty much the safest demographic, and as for domestic violence, given that the majority are interested in women rather than men, then no, there is no trend of men coming home and beating their TW wives. The trans widows threads will show you plenty of unpleasantness in the opposite direction, though.
I think why people are frustrated with your post is that, essentially, there seems to be a collective amnesia around the existence of cross-dressers. It's a kink as old as time. Nobody especially begrudges this pensioner putting on make-up and wearing a bra (!), but then or twenty years ago nobody at all would have concluded that they were a poor soul in the wrong body. Until the term "trans" (instead of transsexual) was created explicitly to include this group.

I understand totally what you’re saying, I’m just saying that there’s a lot of assumptions being placed on one person and what’s coming across in a Facebook post which is never someone’s entire lived experience. There are many women who have transitioned to being men and living how they choose. I just don’t see how this one person has caused so much upset when no one knows her - it’s simplifying a really complex issue and assuming a lot of things. Women who have transitioned will face a lot of struggles and are very vulnerable to violence, domestic violence and I just misplaced anger which should be aimed at those who do us harm.

I've always said that it would be more useful if those who felt they were 'born in the wrong body' as men got to work with women and fought for equal pay, and end to porn and rape culture, for reproductive rights and so on and also stepped up to do the caring work, look after the elderly and 50% of the domestic labour. But most don't. They just wear lacy knickers and bras.

It is a generational thing, @Lemon1822 . When you too have lived a few more decades, become a bit older and wiser, especially to the ways of men in a man's world, you might be less naive and condescending.

Oh man if I had tiny gnat man boobs I would NEVER EVER wear a bra. Such freedom and comfort...

Not one woman who responded asked WHY she felt that she "HAD TO" wear a bra when she used to be a man.

I assume it's for the very female sense of relief one gets when removing it at the end of the day. 😁

Which generation are you? I am of a generation which has read Blanchard's typologies (have a quick google when you have a minute) and then applied sufficient critical thinking to realise that LARPing as an X doesn't actually make you an X, and there is no such thing as "born in the wrong body".

Most posters don't care what clothes men wear or whether they wear make-up. If they can be arsed getting up early to do all that primping, have at it, I say! Some do care, and I understand why (i refer you back to Blanchard). What most do care about is that when men wear particular clothing and make-up and then use that as "evidence" that they are actually women. Leaving aside how incredibly offensive that is, some of us might not mind these men claiming to be women because #BeKind who is it hurting?

When men claim to be women, it does hurt women. The magical incantation "I'm a woman" gives men access to women's spaces. From public toilets and changing rooms right through to sports teams, rape crisis, DV refuges and prisons. Prisons, Lemon!

Men can be housed in women's prisons where they can access female inmates and the men who have done this have intimidated, threatened and even assaulted the women in prison with them. I won't go along with a social trend that does so much harm to women and girls.

I really hope that your generation will listen to what we are saying, and look at the evidence instead of just telling us to live and let live. We are long past live and let live when men are being placed in women's prisons.

If you want to understand why most here don't simply shut up and stop being so mean I recommend reading the thread entitled "break it down for me"

A genuine question to people who have posted saying they are trans allies. Is the 82 year old a man or a woman? The reason I ask is this: in the guardian the other day there was an article about how elderly women who fall are more likely to experience a hip fracture if they are vegetarian. This is important to me as I am a middle aged woman who has been vegetarian most of my life so I need to ensure I take the correct suppliments. They do not know if men are affected in the same way. It may be that they are not. If the 82 year old suffers a fall and goes to hospital, should they be registered as a man or a woman? If they are allowed to answer woman because they 'feel' that they are a woman, this affects the data. Women of the xx chromosome type will not get the health information they need. Like many others I have no problem with this person wearing makeup etc. Break out of the gender constraints! Hurrah for you! But why does this need to be accompanied by everyone being forced to pretend that he is now a biological woman?

Can you register as an alter ego and post your rant, plus the addenda?

Let people live I genuinely don’t get all the hate, must be a generational thing.

Haha! Please teach us, young ally, for we old crones know nothing about oppression, having lived as (actual) women for decades 🙄

For the avoidance of doubt, there is no “hate”, just an unwillingness to accept the wholly unscientific belief that being female is a state of mind.

100% with you, OP!

The trans woman is not disabled in any way, so yes, she does not need someone to come and do her make up or do her hair, which is simply a slightly wavy bob.
What a strange comment, you don't need to be disabled to have someone come and do your make up and hair!
Loads use mobile hairdressers
I’m probably going to get battered by this but why do you care?
Exactly -also doesn't sit right the way everyone lists all the ways to be "a real woman" 🙄 and how terrible it is, which bits are worse etc, seems a bit self loathing to do all that

Essentially you prefer your kind-sounding assumptions to the not-so-nice sounding assumptions.

He can wear as much makeup and as many bras as he likes. I don't care. I care about women allowing him to use single sex spaces because they are being kind to an old dear who is scared of eyeliner. The "generational thing" is with him. The rest of us really don't bat an eye lid at men wearing make up. I'd do the make up for him if he wanted. It still doesn't mean he understand the first thing about females at home or in the work place!

Yes exactly, this person is not being treated like a woman, but rather a very special man.
Sometimes I think that these women who clap along like seals are just so grateful that any man deigns to lower himself to our level and wants to be among us. They think it's a compliment. It isn't.