Concept of ‘exclusively same sex attracted’

I once was chatting up a cute butch and then when she was talking about herself, used the pronoun 'he' and mentioned her exclusive male bro pals', all my desire just dried up and I cancelled our plans. When she asked I told her why and that I loved women; butch women, feminine women, androgynous women...I've dated all types.
but women who want to be men; no thank you.

So I have strong boundaries that exclude all men, men who want to be women and women who want to be men. And I'm fine with that!

Is there a word that describes me in the new gender ideology world? Im a heterosexual in old money. What am I called now? Again, attracted to men NOT women dressed as men. Or am I expected to pretend that I might be attracted to a woman dressed in a suit or baseball cap or whatever a man would stereotypically wear?

She'll pop up again, she's been on a few threads, and seems to ask similar questions, so it's a little surprising that she hasn't yet grasped what it actually is that we do think about sex and gender identity.

Of course she hasn't, she's gone off to say what a bunch of far right irreconcilable extremists we are. No doubt she came with hope in her heart that we'd suddenly see the light and understand... that women aren't female. But I'm never going to understand that because it's not true.

It's all so weird I still can't really understand how we got here.

I'm not a lesbian. But I certainly wouldn't be attracted to a woman who dressed as a man. I'm attracted to men. Men. Not women dressed as men. The whole 'concept' to use the OP's word is ludicrous. I suspect the OP has fucked off to quietly digest the new found knowledge that theys a homophobe and a men's rights activist. Not the right on liberal they fashioned themselves to be.

As an older cranky lesbian I hear the being 'fooled' trope so many times. Here is the reality in my experience

1. I see a beautiful girl across the uni quad..sylph-like body,.long hair etc Mmm,yes...she turns around. It's a 20something male. I'm just out and panic...am I really bi? I stop myself emoting and mentally undress him to his naked male body. All desire dies. Not bi.
2. There is this ugly short middle-aged woman at my lesbian social group. After a few visits, she brags about her new expensive car, picking up girls at a bar, and more all about 'things' , nothing like the emotions, experiences, feelings (sometimes oversharing!) the other women in my group do. I think: is she really a man. I think so just from her behavior. Next meeting she comes in yelling "I cut my penis off."

This is the reality of my lived experiences as a same-sex attracted woman.

Gosh!

I mean, I am not a lesbian, so I am not qualified to answer for them.

But, I think if you are a woman who is attracted to someone who is obviously a male or who has a penis, you don't really qualify as a lesbian, in the sense that you don't meet the conditions for what many other women will be looking for in other women.

I mean, you can identify yourself as one and very few people are going to point it out to you and redefine what your relationship is to your female partner (because women are generally kind and polite to people).

BUT, you shouldn't really assume you'll be welcome on a lesbian speed dating night, for example, unless invited. AND it will never be anything other than ok for a lesbian to decide that she doesn't want to sleep with you.

The issue for lesbians is that if they say "yes, of course, lesbianism is a nice umbrella club" three they will be pressured into sleeping with trans women. And that is wrong. Always.

Why is someone allowed to call themselves a lesbian when born a man, but not allowed to be a women who knows she absolutely does not want to be with someone who was born a man (excluding thought experiments about women who sleep with trans women unknowingly, because that just doesn't apply in the vast majority of cases)?

I am not a lesbian, but I am furious on behalf of every lesbian who has to face this sort of homophobia, masquerading as tolerance and inclusivity.

It involves habits that are somewhat obsessive and not entirely physically healthy and I find those things to be a big turn off.

Meh. I'm a bodybuilder and I think my habits are super healthy. Obsessive? Maybe ..... but that's what competitive sport entails.

But the one thing you can be sure of is ..... that I'm a woman. Muscular build? Yes. Shaved head? Yes. But a blind man in a dark room could tell you I'm a woman. Nothing at all about me screams 'male'.

Yes well said @MissingLesbianSpaces.

Homophobia against lesbians alive and well in 2022, and they call this progressive, liberal and tolerant?

And yes 'language' makes all the difference.

There is a woman in one of the Australian states taking her state government to court because they created a law that makes it impossible for lesbians to meet and exclude males if they say they are lesbians.

Maybe OP is all for that law.... that no group of lesbians can ever meet without having to be open to males dictated by law.... because the language has been redefined by people who feel they are righteous and did so without full consultation. Because there was no government consultation on that change there...

Lesbianism, the only sexual activity involving exclusively female bodies.
How can males, legally, morally and ethically either participate or voice their opinions?

Asking for a friend.

Or as framed by the op, "why do you have something against my innocent male counterparts taking part in this uniquely female sexual activity? it is legal, moral and ethical (because i said so). They just want sex with this appeasing label. "

Homophobic tripe.

All those supposedly progressive people who chant transwoman can be lesbians, this is what they really mean......
"I guess OP thinks us lesbians "just need the right dick". The first time a white dude (always a white dude who claims "I'm a lesbian too" -- some things don't change) said this to me was in the early 80s. Back then I could rightly tell him to fuck all the way off and nobody would think I was wrong, even the less hateful homophobes. But in 2022 I am a bigoted bitch who wont allow herself to be correctively raped. I mean, that says it all"

Well said MissingLesbianSpaces.

I guess OP thinks us lesbians "just need the right dick". The first time a white dude (always a white dude who claims "I'm a lesbian too" -- some things don't change) said this to me was in the early 80s. Back then I could rightly tell him to fuck all the way off and nobody would think I was wrong, even the less hateful homophobes. But in 2022 I am a bigoted bitch who wont allow herself to be correctively raped. I mean, that says it all

😂

I don't find extremely enhanced musculature attractive in anyone, of either sex. It involves habits that are somewhat obsessive and not entirely physically healthy and I find those things to be a big turn off.

" I can’t see how this absolutist approach is logically sustainable. If I am a non-trans woman who has only ever - to my knowledge - been attracted to other non-trans women"

What is this contemptible homophobic misogynistic nonsense?

STOP DIGGING.

Thanks for clearing up our silly confusions. Now it makes perfect sense... not!

I see it all kicked off with my previous post, with a lot of deliberate misinterpretations.

When I talk about trans women, I do not (as I have already explained) consider a man who simple self identifies as a woman as trans. Many are deliberately interpretating that as my definition. There are some heterosexual men who find them attractive, they do not (like lesbians) find self the male appearance attractive. These men would be attracted to their feminine qualities.

When I talk about female bodybuilders, I'm referring to the extreme examples, such as those who have likely taken steroids and hormones (to unnaturally bulk up) and have developed quite masculine features (such as jawlines, Schwarzenegger muscles etc), they usually get breast implants to try to retain some feminine appearances. It would be the more masculine aspects of their bodies that some men find attractive.

I am not talking about athletic builds (like we've just seen at the commonwealth games), but I reckon people know that and deliberately seek to be offended. Did I call them men? No. Did I call men who self identify as women, women? No.

Labels are just, y'know, labels. If people can disagree over the meaning of 'woman' then it obviously follows from this that they can disagree over the meaning of 'lesbian'.

FWIW I'm with, I assume, the overwhelming majority on here who'd guess that being attracted to 'women and men' [i.e. regular bisexual] must be vastly more common than being attracted to 'women and transwomen' [i.e. bisexual when it comes to male bodied people who 'identify as women' and possibly undergo some physical feminisation through medication and/or surgery] - the latter concept flies in the face of the standard concept of naked attraction.

This is just the same tired old twisting word arguments. I don’t even want to engage!

Isn’t there another huge big issue. Like climate change?

The rights of women, gay men and lesbians have to be protected in law because misogyny, sexism and homophobia are real threats that have an actual impact on our lives.
To protect rights there must be a legal definition.

IMO, its irresponsible to continually post about identity in this context. It creates a culture where women and gay people feel pressured to conform.

If you want a new identity, create one. No one is stopping you, no one will bat an eyelid.