Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Concept of ‘exclusively same sex attracted’

938 replies

aseriesofstillimages · 07/08/2022 12:36

I have seen various people on this forum say that to be gay or a lesbian is to be ‘exclusively same sex attracted’, and that therefore, for example, a woman who is attracted to or in a relationship with a trans woman cannot correctly describe herself as a lesbian.

Setting aside the problems with presuming to correct another person’s understanding of their own identity, I can’t see how this absolutist approach is logically sustainable. If I am a non-trans woman who has only ever - to my knowledge - been attracted to other non-trans women, but then am attracted to and get off with a woman in a bar who I subsequently find out is trans, do I immediately stop being a lesbian? What if I don’t stop finding the trans woman attractive after learning that she’s trans? What if I never find out she was trans - is it the case that I have ceased being a lesbian, but will never know this?

OP posts:
Ereshkigalangcleg · 13/08/2022 00:04

No one is convinced by your equivocation that being a lesbian needs to be based on whether you are exclusively attracted to a actual women and males who have a GRC @aseriesofstillimages

DaughterofDawn · 13/08/2022 00:01

aseriesofstillimages · 07/08/2022 12:36

I have seen various people on this forum say that to be gay or a lesbian is to be ‘exclusively same sex attracted’, and that therefore, for example, a woman who is attracted to or in a relationship with a trans woman cannot correctly describe herself as a lesbian.

Setting aside the problems with presuming to correct another person’s understanding of their own identity, I can’t see how this absolutist approach is logically sustainable. If I am a non-trans woman who has only ever - to my knowledge - been attracted to other non-trans women, but then am attracted to and get off with a woman in a bar who I subsequently find out is trans, do I immediately stop being a lesbian? What if I don’t stop finding the trans woman attractive after learning that she’s trans? What if I never find out she was trans - is it the case that I have ceased being a lesbian, but will never know this?

Honestly I feel a bit like many get too caught up in labels on both sides. Transness can throw a wrench into things a bit. Frankly for the sake of dating apps I do think there needs to be more specific categories. But if you aren’t sure or there’s no word to describe it it’s okay and it’s not up to others to try to put you into a box. I know some people who describe themselves as heteroflexible for instance. Basically they are attracted to the opposite sex and open to others so long as they present and pass as the opposite sex. I suppose there could be names such as flex lesbian or flex gay but when others start getting more specific some folks get very outraged. It’s silly. As a bi woman myself I’m an outcast in the LGBT+ community because I’m only attracted to cis people. It’s not that I don’t like trans people and I don’t think they can be sexy. Sure they can be. But they do nothing for me in bed. I don’t feel like it’s my job to justify this. I don’t owe anyone sex. I And I’m not letting anyone guilt me into sleeping with them just because they call me a bigot for something I did not choose.

ImWell · 13/08/2022 00:00

aseriesofstillimages · 12/08/2022 23:53

Once again, those are the explanatory notes, they are not part of the legislation. The term lesbian does not appear anywhere in the legislation, so it cannot be defined there.

Explanatory notes are part of the legislation. Necessarily so, as without them the legislation would be unclear in its aims and scope.

Come on champ, this is painful. What is your actual job?

ImWell · 12/08/2022 23:59

aseriesofstillimages · 12/08/2022 23:52

I know a lot of people in the civil service - and GLD - who are fully supportive of trans inclusion. The most passionate are gay, lesbian and bisexual people. I am aware of a much smaller number of GC people, who are always claiming there are many more, too afraid to speak out - but I’ve seen no evidence to support that. The FDA conference certainly didn’t.

How strange that you suggest that you aren’t just another TRA lying about the law yet you know the views on trans issues of all of these civil servants.

Is there a single one of you with the intelligence to not trip yourselves up like this?

LK1972 · 12/08/2022 23:58

@aseriesofstillimages So you're saying the term 'lesbian' is not defined or protected under UK law, even under the common law? Are you sure? I'd hate to waste my time to prove you wrong, seeing that you're a lawyer and I'm not.

LK1972 · 12/08/2022 23:55

@aseriesofstillimages Sure, complex law that some trans rights activists are trying to get rid of complaints (Alex Sharpe).

Still the case that if you, or your friend, were intentionally deceived as to the sex of their partner, you could choose to prosecute and will likely win. There's plenty of case law where the intent is proved.

aseriesofstillimages · 12/08/2022 23:53

LK1972 · 12/08/2022 23:51

'someone else claimed that lesbian was defined in law.' @aseriesofstillimages yes, it is, here (thanks FatAgain):

From the Equality Act
"Section 122*: Sexual orientation
Effect
55.
This section defines the protected characteristic of sexual orientation as being a person’s sexual orientation towards:
• people of the same sex as him or her (in other words the person is a gay man or a lesbian)
• people of the opposite sex from him or her (the person is heterosexual)
• people of both sexes (the person is bisexual).

What are you trying to argue here?

Once again, those are the explanatory notes, they are not part of the legislation. The term lesbian does not appear anywhere in the legislation, so it cannot be defined there.

OP posts:
aseriesofstillimages · 12/08/2022 23:52

LK1972 · 12/08/2022 23:48

@aseriesofstillimages Aww, is a nasty Minister telling you or your mates you've got the law wrong, and loads of people agree? I can assure you there are many more gender critical people in GLD who agree with her wholeheartedly, but have not made the Civil Servise woke police aware of their views. Yet. Remember, Bailey is very new.

I know a lot of people in the civil service - and GLD - who are fully supportive of trans inclusion. The most passionate are gay, lesbian and bisexual people. I am aware of a much smaller number of GC people, who are always claiming there are many more, too afraid to speak out - but I’ve seen no evidence to support that. The FDA conference certainly didn’t.

OP posts:
LK1972 · 12/08/2022 23:51

'someone else claimed that lesbian was defined in law.' @aseriesofstillimages yes, it is, here (thanks FatAgain):

From the Equality Act
"Section 122*: Sexual orientation
Effect
55.
This section defines the protected characteristic of sexual orientation as being a person’s sexual orientation towards:
• people of the same sex as him or her (in other words the person is a gay man or a lesbian)
• people of the opposite sex from him or her (the person is heterosexual)
• people of both sexes (the person is bisexual).

What are you trying to argue here?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 12/08/2022 23:51

OP has already admitted there isn't any case law defining what a lesbian is but is relying on the EA definition of sex even though It's possible to exclude even GRC holding males from some women's spaces.

aseriesofstillimages · 12/08/2022 23:49

LK1972 · 12/08/2022 23:45

Actually, that last case you asked about would be a prosecutable offense if sex by deception - you must, as a lawyer, know that @aseriesofstillimages.

If a lesbian finds out she's been deceived into sex with a male she would be entitled to prosecute, isn't that correct? Again, IANAL.

I’m not a criminal lawyer, but my understanding is that it’s only clearly an offence if the person intentionally and actively deceived the other person. There is some conflicting case law on cases of non-disclosure (involving undercover police).

OP posts:
LK1972 · 12/08/2022 23:48

@aseriesofstillimages Aww, is a nasty Minister telling you or your mates you've got the law wrong, and loads of people agree? I can assure you there are many more gender critical people in GLD who agree with her wholeheartedly, but have not made the Civil Servise woke police aware of their views. Yet. Remember, Bailey is very new.

ImWell · 12/08/2022 23:47

aseriesofstillimages · 12/08/2022 23:44

I can assure you the GLD does not agree with her.

But your assurance is worthless. You’ve been caught bang to rights on this thread lying about or just misunderstanding the act, so why would anyone accept an assurance from you that you know better?

Are you claiming to actually be a lawyer here, or just another bloody TRA who’ll say or write anything it furthers the cause of men invading women’s single-sex spaces?

aseriesofstillimages · 12/08/2022 23:46

LK1972 · 12/08/2022 23:41

@aseriesofstillimages In your OP you asked 'If I am a non-trans woman who has only ever - to my knowledge - been attracted to other non-trans women, but then am attracted to and get off with a woman in a bar who I subsequently find out is trans, do I immediately stop being a lesbian? What if I don’t stop finding the trans woman attractive after learning that she’s trans? What if I never find out she was trans - is it the case that I have ceased being a lesbian, but will never know this?'

Where do you think EA applies here, specifically? In the bar, in bed, or in a scenario your friend never finds out her partner is a biological male?

It doesn’t. As I’ve already explained, the EA and GRC came up because someone else claimed that lesbian was defined in law.

OP posts:
LK1972 · 12/08/2022 23:45

Actually, that last case you asked about would be a prosecutable offense if sex by deception - you must, as a lawyer, know that @aseriesofstillimages.

If a lesbian finds out she's been deceived into sex with a male she would be entitled to prosecute, isn't that correct? Again, IANAL.

aseriesofstillimages · 12/08/2022 23:44

LK1972 · 12/08/2022 23:22

@aseriesofstillimages If the law was crystal clear you would not be able to state 'Honestly, on the basis of that speech I’d say I understand better how the law works than the AG does'

You don't seem to accept that GLD, the whole effing department, agrees with her, and the Government will defend this position in court. This is what this speech means.

You're not unique in seemingly thinking that you understand the law better that the whole governmental department, but your confidence is frankly surprising.

I can assure you the GLD does not agree with her.

OP posts:
LK1972 · 12/08/2022 23:41

@aseriesofstillimages In your OP you asked 'If I am a non-trans woman who has only ever - to my knowledge - been attracted to other non-trans women, but then am attracted to and get off with a woman in a bar who I subsequently find out is trans, do I immediately stop being a lesbian? What if I don’t stop finding the trans woman attractive after learning that she’s trans? What if I never find out she was trans - is it the case that I have ceased being a lesbian, but will never know this?'

Where do you think EA applies here, specifically? In the bar, in bed, or in a scenario your friend never finds out her partner is a biological male?

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 12/08/2022 23:40

The GRA explicitly provides an exception that a male with a GRC does not acquire the parenthood title of mother and a female with a GRC is not a father. Those are sex based terms.

Why they would you think that a male can be a Lesbian which is also a sex based term as defined under the Equality act.

From the GRC
"12
Parenthood
The fact that a person’s gender has become the acquired gender under this Act does not affect the status of the person as the father or mother of a child."

From the Equality Act
"Section 122*: Sexual orientation
Effect
55.
This section defines the protected characteristic of sexual orientation as being a person’s sexual orientation towards:
• people of the same sex as him or her (in other words the person is a gay man or a lesbian)
• people of the opposite sex from him or her (the person is heterosexual)
• people of both sexes (the person is bisexual).
56.
It also explains that references to people sharing a sexual orientation mean that they are of the same sexual orientation.
Background
57.
The definition is designed to replicate the effect of similar provisions in the Employment Equality (Sexual Orientation) Regulations 2003 and the Equality Act 2006.
Examples
• A man who experiences sexual attraction towards both men and women is “bisexual” in terms of sexual orientation even if he has only had relationships with women.
• A man and a woman who are both attracted only to people of the opposite sex from them share a sexual orientation.
• A man who is attracted only to other men is a gay man. A woman who is attracted only to other women is a lesbian. So a gay man and a lesbian share a sexual orientation."

Thelnebriati · 12/08/2022 23:35

Its an unfathomable mystery. You'd think there would be more money in going after the problematic GRA legislation around succession, or peerages.
If saying 'lesbians are legally defined as women who are same sex attracted' was illegal it would be deleted every time. Yet here OP is is, having to complain about it.

WandaWomblesaurus · 12/08/2022 23:31

Interesting.
A lawyer trying to redefine lesbians.
Why?

LK1972 · 12/08/2022 23:22

@aseriesofstillimages If the law was crystal clear you would not be able to state 'Honestly, on the basis of that speech I’d say I understand better how the law works than the AG does'

You don't seem to accept that GLD, the whole effing department, agrees with her, and the Government will defend this position in court. This is what this speech means.

You're not unique in seemingly thinking that you understand the law better that the whole governmental department, but your confidence is frankly surprising.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 12/08/2022 23:19

As is specifically laid out in the single sex exemptions?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 12/08/2022 23:19

How are males with GRC able to be excluded from some women's spaces, @aseriesofstillimages?

ImWell · 12/08/2022 23:17

aseriesofstillimages · 12/08/2022 23:15

but in this case the law isn’t unclear, so there is no need to rely on the ex notes.

Honestly, on the basis of that speech I’d say I understand better how the law works than the AG does. Which is a pretty sorry state of affairs.

Yes, you believing that is indeed a sorry state of affairs, especially given your “accidental” Mia characterisation of the act above.

aseriesofstillimages · 12/08/2022 23:17

ImWell · 12/08/2022 23:16

No, your claim was that it applies if you go through gender reassignment. The act refers to the legal,treatment if you receive a GRC. Are you going to pretend that you do not understand the difference?

I was specifically talking about a person with a GRC?

OP posts: