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Original poster

They/Them pronouns but gender conforming

132 replies

WorkEvent · 29/07/2022 14:36

Can anyone explain to me why someone would choose (or not choose?) to identify as ‘non binary’ but then outwardly appear to conform to the gender stereotypes of their biological sex? Like, what part of you is non binary if you are a biological woman who dresses in traditionally feminine clothing? Surely in order for this to be ‘a thing’ you have to buy into some nonsense about male and female brains being different? Isn’t this idea inherently sexist? Am I missing something?

OP posts:
MrsWooster · 29/07/2022 14:48

Useful identifier of:
a desire to be special,
a desire to identify into an ‘oppressed class’,
someone who has failed to se the entire point of gender being a load of bollocks.

Fizzgigg · 29/07/2022 14:48

I know someone who is female, married to a man with two children and dresses in fairly identifiably"women's" clothing. But she identifies as non-binary (prefers they/them pronouns but not offended by she/her) as she doesn't feel she identifies with society's expectations of women so would rather not identify as a specific gender. She's much younger than me so interestingly when I was younger and didn't feel I should confirm to society's expectations of women it made me dig my heels into being a woman, but a feminist woman who rejected gender stereotypes. She went another way because that's what her generation does. I find it baffling.

PriamFarrl · 29/07/2022 14:47

SpaceJamtart · 29/07/2022 14:44

Surely the point is that they can dress how they want and it doesn't matter.
So wearing trousers doesn't mean you are dressing as a man, having long hair doesn't mean you are dressing as a woman and a person who is non binary, like everyone else, can dress how they want, because wearing traditionally 'gendered' clothes doesn't mean anything.
Gender identity is not the same as gender stereotypes.

But if gendered clothes don’t mean anything, which I agree with, how do people ‘live as a woman/man’? What does that mean?

AndSoFinally · 29/07/2022 14:46

But if you just identify as your normal, boring, traditional gender, what would make you special?!

SpaceJamtart · 29/07/2022 14:44

Surely the point is that they can dress how they want and it doesn't matter.
So wearing trousers doesn't mean you are dressing as a man, having long hair doesn't mean you are dressing as a woman and a person who is non binary, like everyone else, can dress how they want, because wearing traditionally 'gendered' clothes doesn't mean anything.
Gender identity is not the same as gender stereotypes.

crosstalk · 29/07/2022 14:42

Or it could be someone who wants to put the cat among the pigeons?

Discovereads · 29/07/2022 14:37

No one has to perform their gender. That’s really regressive.

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