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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

How is this offensive?

136 replies

KnittingNeedles · 27/07/2022 18:00

DD is 19 and volunteers in Oxfam. This poster is currently in the window of the store she works in - it was a Pride thing but she thinks they have just not got round to taking it out.

www.oxfam.org.uk/oxfam-in-action/oxfam-blog/celebrating-pride-2022/

The way she - and I - interpret the poster is that the charity is welcoming and inclusive, and however you define yourself, you are welcome in store. Although I know the charity has a reputation for being very "woke", this is a very bland message really.

DD was on the till yesterday and some woman came into the store demanding she remove the poster. DD asked why - woman said it was "forced speech" and a "very political statement" and ranted on about Stonewall for a bit. DD is fairly clued up on the whole sex/gender debate and tried to explain that's not what it was about, it was a message of tolerance and acceptance. Customer was having none of it and went off saying she was going to complain.

I'm confused. I'm as gender critical as they come but surely part of that is accepting that although I don't personally buy into gender other people do, and I respect their right to hold that opinion, just as I hope they respect my right to disagree with them. And that however you define yourself, of course you should be treated with respect in any shop. No I won't be giving you my pronouns as those should be blindingly obvious, but the poster isn't saying you won't be served without sharing yours.

Bemused.

OP posts:
FlibbertyGiblets · 27/07/2022 18:20

Sure is a chin scratcher, yes indeedy.

KnittingNeedles · 27/07/2022 18:20

I see no reason for DD to lie. Perhaps she wasn't gender critical - who knows. But that's certainly the impression DD got from it all.

OP posts:
KnittingNeedles · 27/07/2022 18:19

And I totally accept that pronouns has nothing to do with the aims of the charity. But so many high street stores changed their logo or had pride posters up.

OP posts:
ScreamingMeMe · 27/07/2022 18:18

parietal · 27/07/2022 18:16

I agree. making a big fuss about pronouns detracts from the more important bits of the GC message about single-sex spaces and changes to the law.

How do we even know this hypothetical woman was GC?

parietal · 27/07/2022 18:16

I agree. making a big fuss about pronouns detracts from the more important bits of the GC message about single-sex spaces and changes to the law.

KnittingNeedles · 27/07/2022 18:16

I'm not bewildered though.

I am completely against a lot of the trans ideology and don't believe people can change sex. I don't "state my pronouns" and have never been asked to do. I am totally on board with the idea that gender is basically just stereotypes and hugely discriminatory against women.

But on the other hand, I don't think that sending out a "all welcome" message is so awful. I mean, I think gender is a load of nonsense, but if other people are totally on board with that I respect their opinion and wouldn't see it as my job to "educate" them. Women are often accused of being "anti-trans" and that's not the case - I certainly think that everyone should live as they please and if they want to refer to themselves as he/she/them or whatever crack on. Just don't expect me to do likewise.

OP posts:
ScreamingMeMe · 27/07/2022 18:14

MrsOvertonsWindow · 27/07/2022 18:12

She shouldn't have ranted at your daughter.

It feels like people are very on edge at the moment and maybe she was triggered by a wealthy charity meant to support the most vulnerable in society wasting money pontificating about pronouns? ?

The only person who really knows is the woman, if indeed she exists. I'm not sure why we're being called on to fill in the blanks.

FOJN · 27/07/2022 18:14

The poster is not very inclusive, they'll need a much bigger one for all the neo pronouns.

<Wonders off to think about why sexuality and gender identity are the focus of a campaign to tackle poverty but sex, specifically being female, doesn't get a mention.>

MrsOvertonsWindow · 27/07/2022 18:12

She shouldn't have ranted at your daughter.

It feels like people are very on edge at the moment and maybe she was triggered by a wealthy charity meant to support the most vulnerable in society wasting money pontificating about pronouns? ?

TastefulRainbowUnicorn · 27/07/2022 18:09

I'm as gender critical as they come

An oddly popular phrase among bewildered question askers on this board.

ScreamingMeMe · 27/07/2022 18:07

I'm as gender critical as they come but

Riiiiiiight