I am embracing virtue signalling pronouns in emails

Well indeed, it is at best unprofessional, and at worst bullying. I’m not sure what the OP thought they were achieving? Anyone in the team / on the call who was thinking of doing the same, perhaps because they had a genuine desire to clarify and let people know how they’d like to be addressed, will likely now not feel comfortable in doing so. And that’s wrong.

You refer to them as they/them, and correct others politely if you hear them using a different pronoun for the person.

In the words of my dear old dad, says who?

It's a bit odd though, because I have seen people take on the role of announcing an employee or colleague's pronouns many, many times.

And I don't think there were email chains discussing it before hand. It's just been tacitly accepted that you show support for trans people and non-binary people by telling everyone else about their pronouns.

You refer to them as they/them, and correct others politely if you hear them using a different pronoun for the person.

How about we just ignore the pronouns crap. It is not needed. Let’s go with star signs as well. About as much use

You speak to your employee privately or check your company policy/check with a superior. What you don’t do is take the piss out of them at a staff meeting. It’s genuinely not that hard - anyone with the base level of intelligence to end up a manager of other people would be able to figure that out.

Gosh the etiquette around this just becomes more complicated and kafkaesque by the day

Comforting to know it wasn't a man?

And it was the pronoun that comforted you?

Are you aware that many, many men now use she/her and this could lull you into a false sense of security...almost like if it were some sort of calm inducing drug.

Respect my pronouns they shout, Op advised colleagues to respect Paul's pronouns, No, don't tell anyone someone's pronouns even though they've just announced them on their email signature they shout.

The contradictions and pretzel twisting defies all logic.

Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

Puts even.

That’s why I’m convinced this is all narcissistic claptrap. It’s virtue signalling on the part of Paul and it dies out managers in an awkward position. It’s a trend that needs to be stopped.

Cross-post.

So there is no set rule, then. Well, that's just jolly.

Can we just get this ironed out? If you are a 'transinclusive' manager, and an employee comes out as non-binary by putting "they/them/theirs" in an email signature, what should you do?

Do you leave the burden of explaining the pronouns to everyone else on the employee? Or is it your responsibility to notify people on your employee's behalf?

but paul put his pronouns in his signature so must have wanted everyone to know them, otherwise why do it? Unless he was just jumping on a bandwagon?

The best thing to do depends on the precise circumstances. If an existing member of staff changes their pronouns their manager should ask them how they want it handled - eg whether it should be actively brought to the team’s attention, or if they will just correct people politely if they use the wrong pronoun.

If it’s a case of a new person joining the team, then it’s for that person to decide whether to announce their pronouns when being introduced to people, or just correct them if they assume the wrong pronoun.

Don’t use pronouns in email signatures is what I mean. That could have been conveyed to him as appropriate. And if it’s allowed by the company then op’s personal feelings on it don’t allow her to belittle and bully her employees really - she would need to raise it with the company to possibly look at changing policy to ban it rather than mocking specific staff members she manages.

No, it wasn’t a colleague. I’ve explained already but I felt more comfortable knowing it was a woman. Obviously would rather not go into the whole situation as it’s private but it lessened my anxiety to be able to imagine her/know it was a woman I’d be meeting with. Either way (despite not being a fan of the current trans movement and the damage it is doing/has done to woman’s rights) I don’t think this is professional behaviour. If op doesn’t want people to use pronouns in email signatures/it’s against company policy she as senior staff should be taking them quietly aside and saying ‘sorry Paul but we don’t use pronouns, please remove it asap.’ If it isn’t against company policy then op is inappropriate for giving an employee she is in charge of ‘gentle stick’ at a team meeting for any reason.

Poor Paul. Hope he/him feels better in the morning.

Thank you for supporting Paul.

Why, would it make a difference if it's a colleague you've never met is a man or a woman? What kind of difference, it's just a colleague, you're talking about work, presumably?

Haha I was about to say exactly that 😂 they both exist (on email) while not existing (as acknowledged in a meeting)

so you’ve just signed off an email and you’re walking to a meeting room… in that moment, do the pronouns exist or not? 😁

Say for example a member of staff had put their pronouns in their email signature as ‘they/them’ - it would not be appropriate for their manager (or anyone else) to point this out in a team meeting, unless they had first asked the individual whether they wanted the manager to do that.

It's hardly a secret. Is it a sensitive subject? If so, why is Paul telling all and sundry via email? If not, why not mention it among close colleagues?

Alternatively... Paul is an adult who has made a (silly) choice. If OP gives him a bit of very gentle stick, that's shouldn't be the end of the world.

Hear hear. The levels of childish nastiness on this thread are depressing.

Why wouldn’t it be appropriate?

I have a David whose "he/him" comes up following his photo (in which he looks 100% male) and name.

I always want to ask him when he became so insecure in his masculinity that he felt the need to remind people. Is he afraid someone might think he's a woman and send him a dick pic?

It especially rubs me the wrong way, because I learnt within my first two years of the internet to always use unisex usernames on forums and such, because otherwise the sexual harassment and condescension were unbearable.

Men like David can afford to remind people of their sex online. It is an assertion of status and a reminder to all that they are the type of human that is treated with respect in the workplace and is NOT sent unsolicited dick pics.