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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Moment of realisation

109 replies

Footballmatchdilemma · 19/07/2022 14:56

I was at an event last night where a trans woman I know vaguely was there. I had no reason to speak to them (the configuration of the room meant I wouldn’t have been able to if id wanted to anyway), but I could see them.

They are about my age, 40s, slim, nice clothes, long hair etc. But what made me, frankly, a bit pissed off, is that I thought, how nice for them to enjoy the long hair and the clothes and blah blah, but at this point in their life, what they won’t have to deal with, which most women will, is the sodding menopause. It hasn’t hit me yet, but I’m worried about how it will make me feel.

This person has no idea about this aspect of being a woman. No the menopause, not periods, not childbirth, none of it. How can they possibly, in any way, believe themselves to be a woman?! These things are the reality, before you even begin to talk about the burden of care that usually falls on women, low salaries etc.

It made me so very grumpy, and there’s no one I can talk to about it because my friends aren’t interested and my sister is all ‘be kind’.

OP posts:
PearlClutch · 19/07/2022 15:07

Males claim they know what it is to be a woman? It's an astonishing presumption, really.

MythicalReasonableTwitterUser · 19/07/2022 15:06

I've always liked to see men rocking their looks with long hair, dresses, makeup, whatever, but was very taken aback to find that some of them seriously thought this made them actual women, and was then flummoxed to find we were expected to go along with it.

BEAM123 · 19/07/2022 15:06

I would imagine that taking female hormones with all the effect of those can't be much fun...granted there are no periods but they still get to experience the moods! And if they stop taking hormones they will get the hot flushes etc... and more chin hair growth than I wil ever have to worry about!

sunshineandstrawberryjam · 19/07/2022 15:05

I am not convinced that's the best argument in all honesty. Some women, obvs, are hugely impacted by menopause, but others aren't. I got a mirena coil when I was 20 and haven't had periods for years and years and I don't think I'm defined by five years of light monthly bleeding in my teens. Plus I think "not dealing with childbirth" is the case for lots of women too.

Craftycorvid · 19/07/2022 15:04

I get where you’re coming from! I also accept that I haven’t a clue what it’s like to be trans, or male. There are basic core experiences of being biologically female, including menopause, also including societal misogyny, of course. Trans folk are deserving of respect and appreciation - as trans women - and should they be bullied or harassed due to their identity, that is very much not OK. BUT, Biological women are different. I do realise this is the new heresy.

Rainbowshit · 19/07/2022 15:02

achillestoes · 19/07/2022 14:58

It’s annoying, but they also have to cope with being a transwoman and that, to be honest, doesn’t look much fun.

That's a choice though. They can opt out at any time. Females cannot opt out of the realities of our biological sex though.

achillestoes · 19/07/2022 15:02

It’s a mystery to me.

Footballmatchdilemma · 19/07/2022 15:00

True, I’ll give them that, but trans women’s problems are NOT problems associated with being a woman, so how can they believe that they are one?

OP posts:
achillestoes · 19/07/2022 14:58

It’s annoying, but they also have to cope with being a transwoman and that, to be honest, doesn’t look much fun.