If I was to ‘live as a man’ from tomorrow, what would I do?

Strut into office. First things first: grab a cup of coffee (which, to be fair, female me does, too), except: leave my used cup out on the cafeteria table, not giving a single thought in the world to who will clean it up.

Make my way to the first meeting of my day. Make sure to point out that "colleague X did great work on this particular success - because ME, MYSELF, AND I coached X towards it".

2nd meeting of the day: declare that I'm a Senior Executive at this firm and that I am ORDERING for ABC to happen - nobody calls me a "fucking bitch". In fact, my boss is positively impressed with my "executive presence".

Lunch: I get asked by one of the juniors if I would like them to bring me a sandwich and a drink back from the shop. I gratefully accept.

Afternoon appointment; disciplinary matter: junior employee I am about to issue a final warning to does NOT mansplain to me why they clearly have the overall business priorities down better than me, and that them losing the firm money is, in fact, a "strategic investment".

After work drinks with friends: I get to sit at a bar enjoying a couple of drinks without any random male at the same bar assuming I am available to be flirted with.

Way home: I get to take public transport because that's now perfectly safe for me. Even after a couple of drinks and late at night. I get to man spread and scratch my balls. Noone complains.

In all fairness: it sounds kind of nice!

I have run these past DH and by his exclamations of “oh, I do that” I can confidently confirm that he’s a stereotypical man.

I’ll also add restacking the dishwasher because so that it’s completely overfilled and then complaining that it doesn’t wash things very well.

Expect plaudits for doing the bare minimum eg. looking after your own children.

Imagine that others are impressed with you.

Assume you will go first.

Absolve responsibility for anything household or family related.

Fart more and be proud of them.

Interject into any conversation that you know all about the topic of conversation because you once read an article about it in some magazine so therefore you are the fount of all knowledge about it even though the women having the conversation are actually professionals who work in a field relevant to the conversation they still can't possibly know more about it than, you A Man.

If your child injures themselves all you have to say is "Just walk it off!" or "Where's your mother?"

I love the idea of having sex like a man. I'd love to know what it feels like being a man and having sex with a woman and what makes it so good.

Just delete any wife work and mental load out of your mind. Your brain is far too important for anything like that, you need to watch YouTube videos or tv or read the internet about your man hobbies.

If you’ve a partner, wait for them to become exasperated at your not doing anything being busy and exclaim that you’re here, all they had to do was ask. Then follow up with a billion useless obvious questions asking where things are, or how to do it.

Take up as much space as possible wherever you are.

Talk over any woman you meet, and explain things to her that she already knows. Don’t listen to her though, she’s nothing of interest to say and she’s probably a mother or wants to be one. Tell the miserable cow to smile, and tell your mates that she’s probably got her period. Unless of course you want to have sex with her, then act fascinated with every word she says until you get the goods.

Never use a rubbish bin, women love tidying up after you, you’re a man. No. You’re THE man.

Complain about how equality has gone too far and women now rule the world, and nobody understands how difficult it is to be a man.

Basically, do what you want when you want, because you can. Don’t think about anyone else, if anyone criticises you mumble an insincere sorry or bust out full on aggression depending upon how you want to be.

I have asked myself this question a lot recently, I have tried to work out how DH and and I live differently given we've always had a fairly equal set up, and do the same job. The only things I can come up with is that we have different roles when we have sex, and I have long hair, he doesn't. I'm not sure that is enough really though.

Act like I invented cycling.
Walk home in the dark without thinking twice about it.
Get paid a third more and apply for jobs where I only have 50pc of the essential requirements.

Develop a massive sense of entitlement and a belief that failing to prioritise you is the same as discriminating against you.

Leave the toilet seat up!

Believe in the Celebration Fairy who does all the birthday, Christmas and Easter celebratory planning, food purchasing, prep and gift organising, purchasing, wrapping and sending, guest list planing and comms with parents re their kids coming if not to parties. .

Also for your wife's birthday.

And then there's the Kids' Dress Up Day fairy, the Communicate with School Fairy and the Check or Help With Homework Fairy.

Basically, believe in fairies.

Yes to the poos at work. Plus leave the loo in a mess afterwards, preferably with a small puddle of wee around the base.

In meetings, either (a) don’t pay attention when women are speaking so that at the end you ask a question that’s already been explicitly answered by at least two women there, but not understand why they are suddenly rather stony-faced; or (b) when a woman has made a point but no one has responded, make it again later in the meeting as if it’s just occurred to you. For bonus man points, you can actually do both in the same meeting!

At a working lunch, when the sandwiches arrive, immediately take four of them without checking to see if that leaves too few for everyone else in the room.

Wonder aloud periodically why some of the female colleagues in your office are just so uptight and always seem to be angry, you know? They don’t seem to smile very much?

On the day your child is due to go to another child’s birthday party, appear 20 minutes beforehand annoyed that no-one’s waiting at the door yet, and then ask where is the party and assume someone else has bought a present, got child ready, etc.

Twelve hours before you are due to go on a family self-catering holiday with children, come down the stairs with a small gym bag full of pants, and say derisively, “Well I’m all packed, I don’t know why it’s taking you so long?”

I’m sure other mners have some other fab ideas for “living as a man”….

Walk through a city centre after dark without thinking twice or having my keys in my hand.

Wear shorts without giving the state of my legs a thought.

Never have to wonder, ‘was that rape?’

Buy several bikes/guitars/insert hobby equipment of choice here without feeling the need to justify why so much money needs to be spent on something that benefits only you.

Haha the poo thing ! What is with that! My partner says he likes to read on his phone but why do this when you’re having a shit ? Anyway, you would need to announce you are a man and do the male pronoun thing. Maybe change your name if you like. Then after that point all the suggestions in the thread are very helpful. Do keep in mind that if you fancy getting pregnant and having babies that is perfectly consistent with being a man and won’t in any way impede your “living as a man” for a year goal.

i would suggest you start random conversations with women in the street , cafes , bus stops , waiting areas. Just talk at them. Tell them to smile.

On a family day out you’d need to not bother getting anyone but yourself dressed, don’t think about packing a bag with essentials for your children and then go and sit in the car impatiently moaning about why it’s taking everyone else so long to get ready to go.

Adjust your balls

And get them!

Relinquish yourself of any family mental load.

Get in to a hobby and don’t shut up about it

I’m an actual woman and I’m happy to poo at work, so it isn’t that.

if I was to become a man I’d expect to be able to have a hobby without being made to feel guilty about it.

Buy a road bike

Also wear the dressing gown of doom to signify just how poorly you are.

Be gravely ill when your significant other happens to be ill.

Make sure everyone knows about it.

Lycra. Definitely Lycra.