How to refuse to share pronouns verbally

Yes

Hea / then and Fuck / Off are my preferred pronouns if anyone insists on ditching the sex based pronouns all non-narcissists use. They work better in writing than verbally.

Exactly!

I don't agree with saying 'I'd prefer not to say'or something like that because it makes you sound all mysterious and closeted, as PPs have said, and also that it makes you sound like you believe in the gender woo.

Preferred pronouns are a tool to communicate either non conforming in some way (which may or may not be obvious) or adherence to an ideology that believes in gender identity.
Not having a preferred pronoun means that you don't really care how people refer to you in your absence. Because you don't believe that gender identity is relevant to you and you're unconcerned by others assuming your gender and/or sex.

I don't think it's possible to take your own sense of right and wrong too seriously. The problem is people without a sense of right and wrong, or people who know thing are wrong and do them anyway.

@BootsAndRoots It's different because no one refers to star signs in everyday conversation. I would never say "here ya go, ask the cancer to pass this pen to the leo" but I might say "ask him to pass it to her". I would say "where's Sara, I need to ask her a question". I would not say "where's sara, I need to ask gemini a question".

By the way I've been to events where what is your star sign is an icebreaker, I've answered. Tell you what though - one deeply relgious person did refuse to, on the basis that it went against their relgion because they didn't believe in star signs. And let me tell you, it was not the people answering who came across like the ideology fanatic...

It is very rare for me to hear myself referred to in my presence by third person pronouns. I actually find it quite jarring. Usually my name is used or I am addressed directly.

I am quite happy to admit that it may be generational (who's she, the cat's mother)

If pressed, I'd go with "are you trying to force me to out myself?".

@AgathaAllAlong What is your star sign? Everyone has a star sign, so what's yours? It's just the polite thing to state what your star sign is and is inclusive of those who believe in astrology.

“it” and then see if anyone has the balls to actually refer to you as “it”

damnit, that should say "never refer to you as she or her"

If you just have to introduce yourself just say "my name is ..." and leave it at that. No need to say "my name is ... and I disagree with announcing pronouns".

If you are then asked for pronouns, get them to explain it and then answer "me/you".

Hang on a minute, have I read this right - you guys don't use pronouns? So do your friends and family always refer to you as 'she' or 'her' they literally say your name every single time they talk about you?

Perhaps you don't want to answer because you are nonbinary and don't want to disclose this.

More likely, what you find offensive about it is the idea that the person can't tell what pronouns you go by from looking at you. Well, the reality is that they can't. The people talking to you do not know what you want to be called unless you tell them. It's not an offensive question, any more than asking you if you go by a nickname.

Presumably you want to use the occasion to posture about trans views. So you could always say "my pronouns are female, like my sex" ... but most people have pronouns, it's weird to refuse to disclose them.

also they almost certainly will not ask. loads of people have them in emails, but would not ask you.

I agree that if you said you weren’t prepared to give your pronouns or whatever I would think you were an attention seeking PIA. Just don’t give them or say she/her. Don’t make it weird

///

See the other perspective is those who insist on pronouns are already making it weird. Some of us just can't be arsed joining in the circle of bollocks

Some of us are pedantic. Some of us find it enormously hard to lie, yes even white lies to keep the peace.

I find it exactly as uncomfortable as someone asking me to say 'amen' after a prayer when I'm not Christian. It feels to me not only dishonest but an insult to those who do believe.

I appreciate I tend to take these things too seriously, sometimes.

I'd say "hi I'm fusion" and in answer to any other follow up eg 'and your pronouns?' I'd stick with a simple 'no thanks', smile, and turn head to next person.

Keep it as minimal as possible

I haven't been asked, but I am planning on just saying that this is personal information I am not comfortable sharing. I was joking with my colleagues (whom I trust) the other day that since I'm quite bloky, I should just write "she/he"...ya know, the duality!

I'm stealing this!!

"As expected"

What would you say in a meeting if someone asks everyone to share their starsign?

It's precisely the same as asking me to declare my religion and starsign.

Just don’t give them or say she/her. Don’t make it weird.

You do appreciate someone asking for pronouns is the one 'making it weird'?

'cis-sy'
'predictable'
'as you were'
'I've been struggling with that, can you offer any suggestions'?

I agree that if you said you weren’t prepared to give your pronouns or whatever I would think you were an attention seeking PIA. Just don’t give them or say she/her. Don’t make it weird.

Burst into tears.

'I find that question offensive '

'I have yet to work it out '