Can't make this add up.

Trans women are not welcome in female spaces, but also aren't safe in male spaces.

So, make the male spaces safe or third spaces. It is only 'hard' because some males feel they should be able to access female spaces when sex actually does matter. Who is telling these males that it is acceptable for them to demand access? That also needs to change.

Being continually misgendered on various admin systems

Misgendered or mis-sexed?

the many barriers to medical transition

But what medical transition do they even need these days?

and the huge hoops that need to be jumped through in order for them to live authentic lives

Their authentic lives as trans people? yes? Not as assuming the sex they identify as for all purposes, even when sex matters.

Is the issue their expectations? Or is the issue society is based on material reality sometimes and some of these issues that you are describing needs that material reality observed and there is a disconnect between what some people have been led to believe will be resolved (ie. that you can really change sex and be exactly like the sex you identify) and what the reality actually is.

What do you friends think about third spaces? Do you feel there is a lot of will amongst the trans community to campaign for third spaces?

Trans women are not welcome in female spaces, but also aren't safe in male spaces

Because men as a collective are not safe to be around. Its interesting that some men only realise this or accept this once they decide to present as a woman.

Being continually misgendered on various admin systems

Which is why admin systems should record biological sex if its necessary. If its not necessary then why should anyone have any markers of their sex on their admin?

What makes Tw unsafe in men's spaces? Is there any evidence that they are subjected to more or worse discriminatory behaviour or violent behaviour than men in general in men's spaces? Have there been any cases reported to the police, of Tw feeling unsafe in men's spaces?

If men do not behave appropriately to other males in men's spaces, why is that women's problem to solve?

Equally, if a person's sense of self is dependent upon others' constant validation, why is it those other peoples' problem to solve?

We can extend trans people the same respect and compassion as we extend to all people, while still not taking responsibility for their emotions, beliefs and desires.

Making women less safe must be a very tempting option for policy makers/politicians/Governments because it's an easy option for them. Instead of actually tackling the reasons behind male violence/toxicity and working to 'expand the bandwidth' of what it means to be male, far easier to trample on women's rights. Women who have been socially conditioned to 'be kind'. That 'be kind' is being used as a weapon.

Women and women's spaces are being used as a human shield in preference of putting in the work to systematically examine and tackle male toxicity and violence.

'It seems like there's no way to align the common sense of GC views with considerate safeguarding of genuinely trans individuals'

And there is the heart of the issue.

Compared to the days when there were relatively few 'transsexual' people, whose dysphoria was diagnosed and who found some relief via changing the appearance, we now are in a situation where people are trans because they say they are. It's heading towards an access all areas situation for males, however they identify themselves.

Third spaces are surely the way forward?

all of whom have endless stories of the ways in which society victimises and sidelines them on a daily basis

By...? Noticing they're not the opposite sex, or is there more to that? I pretty sure "noticing actual sex" is the bulk of it.

If your whole identity is based on people pretending they can't see something objectively true about you, there's going to be a problem. You can't force people to lie.

"Misgendering" is correctly sexing. It's not a real thing.

We didn't accept gay people by trying to pretend either they or their partners were the opposite sex, (except those covered by the GRA2004), and accuse anyone of not going along with the pretence of "misgendering".

How do we square this circle?

You fundamentally can't base any rights claim on the insistence that the circle is a square. You have to admit that it's a circle, and then deal with any remaining issues.

Despite TRA claims we are not a gendered society. We don't say "men retire to the bar, and women to the lounge" (or whatever) any more, so you don't have to claim to be the opposite sex to go to the other room.

The few remaining sex-specific things are sex-specific for very clear reasons. That's why they remain as such. We've pretty much abolished formal unnecessary sex discrimination.

If anyone "presenting as female" (ie using typically female name and stereotypical female dress) is getting stick in a male-only space - just as in any space - then that obviously needs to be tackled, just as we tackled gay men getting stick from men. Rather than putting them in female spaces and using women as a shield.

Ther a simple solution that protects both women and tans people it's called a 3rd space we have been arguing for this from day 1 however that doesn't validate the trans person's identity and is constantly rejected by them.
Also why should male violence against a subsect of men be the problem of women solve or be shieds for said subsect of men?

Third spaces? If trans people put their energy into third spaces rather than demanding access to that of their preferred sex, I don’t know of any woman who would dispute their cause.

You can't make it add up because you think women are obliged to find a solution to the safety of transwomen if they don't want males in single sex spaces. I note you don't seem concerned about the safety of transmen.

Women have suggested 3rd spaces which would provide privacy, safety and dignity for all but we are told we are transphobic for wanting to maintain our legal right to single sex services and spaces and fairness in sport because it does not validate trans identities.

I have no doubt that life can be very challenging for transpeople and there was a time I very willing to be part of finding solutions to that problem but I'm afraid the assault on women's rights and safeguarding has been too intense that I just do not have the surplus energy to fight yet another battle for a group who are represented by such violent, aggressive and uncompromising activists.

I also know transpeople, they are nothing like the activists and they are appalled at what is done in their name. I share their concerns for the potential backlash.

Trans women are not welcome in female spaces, but also aren't safe in male spaces.
But allowing men into women's spaces is... Clearly it's MEN who need to sort this one out. Women shouldn't be endlessly expected to pick up the slack because men can't 'be kind'. You say yourself that men are the problem. They can sort this one out.
the many barriers to medical transition There are barriers to medical care for everyone. I knew someone who decided they were trans about 5 years ago. They were put onto testosterone within about 18 months (after a couple of counselling sessions) and in spite of Covid, and all the NHS delays around that, they have now had 'top surgery'. Meanwhile, a friend had to wait so long for a pre-cancerous lesion to be removed that she ended up needing plastic surgery...

I don't know what the answers are, but making things worse for women isn't the solution.

Trans women are not welcome in female spaces, but also aren't safe in male spaces.

The problem here is men and toxic masculinity. So many of the world’s problems would be solved without toxic men.

Above post should have read 'free for' not 'free from'

In terms of protecting women's safe spaces, the only answer is to have womens facilities, mens facilities, and a third 'neutral' facility which would be free from trans people to use.

Like most GC people, I am happy to address people respectfully by whatever pronoun they wish to use.

Misgendering is a tricky one, to which there are no easy solutions I'm afraid - for the safety of everyone, the persons' biological sex should be recorded on medical records etc.

Sports is easy - you can only compete in the category relating to your biological sex. Anything else is at best unfair, and at worst downright cheating.