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Original poster

Transcript of Jenni Swayne's police interview

54 replies

PronounssheRa · 29/05/2022 17:04

If anyone needs cheering up, a transcript of Jenni's interview. grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/jenni-swaynes-magnificent-police?r=1fqwi5&s=r&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

I know it was horrible for Jenni but the transcript made me laugh (and also cringe for the police officer)

OP posts:
Abhannmor · 30/05/2022 07:22

This interview is like a scene from the Third Policeman by Flann O Brien. In which a Policeman is turning into his bicycle through some molecular process of osmosis. I agree it could make a Graham Lenihan sketch.

Does Dwain have other talents? I'd love to hear his Welsh satnav voice .

Mollyollydolly · 30/05/2022 02:11

Jenni you're a legend. Someone needs to adapt this into a screenplay, it's comedy gold.

TheBiologyStupid · 30/05/2022 00:38

Brilliant - kudos to Jenni (and Dwain)!

LeniGray · 29/05/2022 22:13

She’s awesome 👏 I’d love to have a cup of tea and some ghee with her 😂

RhannionKPSS · 29/05/2022 21:51

Well done Jenni you are a star ⭐️

Haricot · 29/05/2022 21:38

I am in awe of Jenni. The police should be ashamed of themselves, interviewing her in the middle of the night, releasing her without any means of getting home. Every one of Jenni’s answers is perfect. Grace under pressure.

DialSquare · 29/05/2022 21:35

She's brilliant! She really doesn't suffer fools does she!

IamEarthymama · 29/05/2022 21:04

I have met Jenni, she’s a bloody star!
We are so lucky to have fearless women like her.

Especially in Newport where there are some right nasty men about.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 29/05/2022 21:04

Idly wonders how much police time this has taken in total? Expect to see headlines that Gwent Police have zero unsolved VAWG, burglary, murder, child abuse and other crimes if they can devote this amount of time to .... stickers.

Well done Jenni.

Tallisker · 29/05/2022 20:40

Thelnebriati · 29/05/2022 17:59

@Tallisker Its real, and hilarious Grin

Shocking😱

ScreamingMeMe · 29/05/2022 20:39

Omg she's so straight-talking. I love her!

Roseglen84 · 29/05/2022 20:00

'Trans cats are not mine' 😂 This woman is brilliant - more power to you Jenni.

That police officer must be embarrassed at the time wasted on this. Have they really got so few actual crimes, that they interview someone based on reports of 'distress and alarm' because of some stickers??

Is that really where we have got to?

daringdoris · 29/05/2022 19:18

What an amazing read.

Da iawn Jenni.

EdithStourton · 29/05/2022 19:13

PC REDACTED knew what sex Karen White was alright.

Well done Jenni. I couldn't have been so calm.

TheMarzipanDildo · 29/05/2022 19:06

She’s brilliantly funny. I’d crumble under the pressure of an interview.

RogersOrganismicProcess · 29/05/2022 19:02

She is amazing 😀

MagnoliaTaint · 29/05/2022 18:44

I: When you apply these stickers, how do you apply them to the lamppost?

R: Well, I take them off the backing and carefully put it on ‘cause I’ve only got one fully working hand and drive off on my little scooter. Like, I don’t know, hell’s grannies or something.

Jenni you are a star. Wine

Ameanstreakamilewide · 29/05/2022 18:25

It was like an Abbot and Costello routine.

Highlyquestionablehoumous · 29/05/2022 18:20

I fry it in ghee.

You put it in tea?

Grin
bellac11 · 29/05/2022 18:11

Interesting the definition of 'caused alarm and distress'

Because I have been learning more and more about this issue and I am really alarmed and would be distressed if I were in prison and housed with me was a man who identified as a woman but who was a male sex offender of sex offences against women. That is really alarming and distressing.

Original poster
PronounssheRa · 29/05/2022 18:10

There are so many funny bits, Dwayne the mobility scooter is probably my favourite.

Jenni was also very good at no commenting at the appropriate time, like the name of the pub where you can buy cannabis. Frankly if the police don't already know this they should all be sacked 😃

OP posts:
JellySaurus · 29/05/2022 18:01

I:...I think, so we’ve got Karen, presumably this is Karen the man you were talking about earlier in the interview.

R: Karen White?
I: Sorry, person I meant to say.
R: The nonce who was put away by the police?

Priceless.

Thelnebriati · 29/05/2022 17:59

@Tallisker Its real, and hilarious Grin

FlibbertyGiblets · 29/05/2022 17:59

Jenni you are a legend.

FlibbertyGiblets · 29/05/2022 17:58

Ghee or tea made me laugh. As well as Dwayne.

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