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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Do pronouns feel alien to anyone else?

466 replies

janeseymour78 · 21/05/2022 18:42

By this, I mean I have friends who are 100% pro pronouns as a show of support and we've had our debates, and then there are others who say it is unhealthy to reinforce stereotypes, eg. By using them on work signatures

For me though, adding she/her pronouns to everything and even having being asked what they are verbally, she/her feels alien to me in a visceral way. I'm curious about this because I have several friends who don't share that feeling at all.

Im GC and I don't believe people are binary. I have elements of feminity and masculinity that whatever else that form who I am. I know I'm a woman, I have endometriosis so I'm painfully aware, as well as all the other reasons women are made aware of their sex.

It comes down to adding 'she/her' to everything would not feel right to me, as though it didn't reflect me. It would like I was falsely reinforcing my womanhood when I don't live my life that way or feel that way. Am I making sense? Do others feel this way?

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janeseymour78 · 22/05/2022 20:13

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 19:51

One of the go-to attack lines against trans women is attacking them for insufficiently feminine behavior or appearance.

Trans women absolutely face many of the same attacks and expectations typically directed at women.

While also simultaneously facing pressure to transition and conform to the expectations imposed on men.

Go to attack lines from whom? I've never heard of this. Whose business is it what someone else wears? And I don't doubt what you say about facing similar issues.

Still, it isn't the same as being a natal woman who has lived that life from birth with everything that comes with it. That isn't a criticism or a gotcha, just a fact. Ive heard of men becoming trans women and being shocked by what life is like as a woman, harrassment and everything that goes with it.

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Zerogravity · 22/05/2022 20:12

I told you. Meaning can change. And the currently commonly recognized meanings already include trans women.
No, I'm afraid not.A few years ago I think more people would have agreed with you but transactivism has really woken people up to what's going on and the stealthy way language is being altered to erase women. So, no. Bit of an own goal there.

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 20:10

mudgetastic · 22/05/2022 20:07

Commonly having been redefined to mean a small number of people mostly on Twitter

Not really. Dictionary definitions include trans women also. And passing trans women in particular have little issue being commonly regarded as women in their everyday lives.

Sunquench · 22/05/2022 20:08

My skin is white….. but I identify as black.

I am essentially a wannabe coconut.

mudgetastic · 22/05/2022 20:07

Commonly having been redefined to mean a small number of people mostly on Twitter

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 20:05

@IstayedForTheFeminism
> Because words have (or at least used to have) generally accepted meanings.
If someone decides to change the meaning of those words they become... erm... meaningless.

I told you. Meaning can change. And the currently commonly recognized meanings already include trans women.

Sunquench · 22/05/2022 20:05

@AlecTrevelyan006

Love that. Girls.

IstayedForTheFeminism · 22/05/2022 20:03

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 19:45

You literally throw a fit over the notion that some people might use the same words to describe themselves.

How is that not selfish?

Because words have (or at least used to have) generally accepted meanings.
If someone decides to change the meaning of those words they become... erm... meaningless.

Can I start calling myself a doctor and use the title Dr. Even though I'm not one? And if not, why not? I identify as a Dr so I'm sure you'll let me operate on you/prescribed you some meds/whatever.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 22/05/2022 20:03

twitter.com/sueveneer/status/1528341076943175680

Sunquench · 22/05/2022 20:02

So men being more violent is being classed as bioessentialist…….. riiiiggghhhhht.

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 20:00

EdithStourton · 22/05/2022 19:55

You literally throw a fit over the notion that some people might use the same words to describe themselves.

How is that not selfish?
It has been clearly explained to you why we need a clear word for adult human female. That word is woman. Get your thieving hands off it.

Which part of genetics are you referring to? Chromosomes?
Oh, all of it. See post above above height and personality and so on. There are some great podcasts out there on the impact of genetics on personality. Perhaps you should go and listen to a few rather than haranguing us here.

Oh, so you do believe personality is dictated by sex? Interesting.

I thought that belief was, you know, sexist.

Zerogravity · 22/05/2022 19:56

You literally throw a fit over the notion that some people might use the same words to describe themselves.

Your reading skills are a bit rusty. I said call yourself what you like but don't expect other people to join in. Words have a meaning. If I identify as black when I'm white or as a doctor when I'm not, I don't expect to win prizes reserved for black authors or treat patients. Similarly if males want to call themselves women, they can - but that has no legal value and doesn't mean they can access facilities, spaces or competitions reserved for females.

EdithStourton · 22/05/2022 19:55

You literally throw a fit over the notion that some people might use the same words to describe themselves.

How is that not selfish?
It has been clearly explained to you why we need a clear word for adult human female. That word is woman. Get your thieving hands off it.

Which part of genetics are you referring to? Chromosomes?
Oh, all of it. See post above above height and personality and so on. There are some great podcasts out there on the impact of genetics on personality. Perhaps you should go and listen to a few rather than haranguing us here.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 19:53

Right, violence is stored in the chromosomes, and other bioessentialist bullshit.

She means men. Men are statistically more likely to be violent both to each other and to women. The vast majority of men have XY chromosomes so it has predictive value. It's not "bioessentialist".

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 19:51

*pressure to detransition

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 19:51

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 19:46

Do you think trans women do not face discrimination, prejudice or oppression due to their bodies, or the stereotypes and expectations imposed on them as either "men" or "women" alike?

I think that many trans people face these things because they are transgender and that biologically female trans people face misogyny and sexism like other members of their sex. I don't accept that males face the same stereotypes and expectations that women and girls do.

One of the go-to attack lines against trans women is attacking them for insufficiently feminine behavior or appearance.

Trans women absolutely face many of the same attacks and expectations typically directed at women.

While also simultaneously facing pressure to transition and conform to the expectations imposed on men.

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 22/05/2022 19:49

Cool, so what's the big deal? Does "being on small/large gamete producing pathway" need constant emphasizing?

I'm not really sure what you mean. I was just helping you understand why people can't change sex.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 19:49

This does raise consent issues surely. A man needs to know if he’s consenting to sex with another man, and not a “trans woman”…. I.e a man. This could have horrifying mental health consequences on men if they have no idea what sex they’re actually sleeping with…..

It does, and it's against the law to deceive people about your sex in order to sleep with them. Unsurprisingly Stonewall and other extremist trans activists have long campaigned to change this law.

EdithStourton · 22/05/2022 19:48

Why should whatever is "encoded in our cells" matter in our everyday lives?
Are you really so utterly divorced from reality that you don't understand this?

What is encoded in our cells, our genetics (and epigenetics), has a massive input into who we are. Nurture has its place, but the raw material that nurture has to work on is our genes. If your genes don't tend towards height, even a good diet won't make you tall. Your genes have an impact on your intelligence, on your personality, even on how you stand and move. On the health problems that you are likely to encounter as you age. On when you go grey. On how fertile you are.

My cousin had breast cancer encoded in her cells. That had a pretty big impact on her everyday life for a while (and continues to do so, check-ups and so on).

I was so awestruck by your cluelessness that it took me a while to type this reply, and I am sure some better ones will have popped up already...

Waitwhat23 · 22/05/2022 19:48

Anyone else just a tiny wee bit nostalgic for the days when TRA's came on here to tell us that of course they weren't saying human beings can literally change sex and we were just gaslighting/strawmanning/exaggerating to say that that was what was being said.

It at least was less frustrating than this flat earther vibe. * *

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 19:46

Do you think trans women do not face discrimination, prejudice or oppression due to their bodies, or the stereotypes and expectations imposed on them as either "men" or "women" alike?

I think that many trans people face these things because they are transgender and that biologically female trans people face misogyny and sexism like other members of their sex. I don't accept that males face the same stereotypes and expectations that women and girls do.

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 19:46

roarfeckingroarr · 22/05/2022 19:40

@SeldomHere because those with XY chromosomes are, as a sex class, generally larger, stronger, and more likely to commit violent crime.

As an XX, I don't want to be around that when vulnerable/naked/unwell/playing sports

Right, violence is stored in the chromosomes, and other bioessentialist bullshit.

Sunquench · 22/05/2022 19:46

Trans women? Oh you mean men.

Do men who have cosmetic surgery to impersonate being a woman need to inform other biological men of this before they have sex?

This does raise consent issues surely. A man needs to know if he’s consenting to sex with another man, and not a “trans woman”…. I.e a man. This could have horrifying mental health consequences on men if they have no idea what sex they’re actually sleeping with…..

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 19:45

Zerogravity · 22/05/2022 19:44

So you keep on saying that recognizing sex is not important to trans people and women keep on telling you that it is essential for women. So why not concede that sex is relevant and gender not? You do realise that you are making trans people look incredibly selfish with this line of argument?

You literally throw a fit over the notion that some people might use the same words to describe themselves.

How is that not selfish?

Zerogravity · 22/05/2022 19:44

So you keep on saying that recognizing sex is not important to trans people and women keep on telling you that it is essential for women. So why not concede that sex is relevant and gender not? You do realise that you are making trans people look incredibly selfish with this line of argument?