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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Do pronouns feel alien to anyone else?

466 replies

janeseymour78 · 21/05/2022 18:42

By this, I mean I have friends who are 100% pro pronouns as a show of support and we've had our debates, and then there are others who say it is unhealthy to reinforce stereotypes, eg. By using them on work signatures

For me though, adding she/her pronouns to everything and even having being asked what they are verbally, she/her feels alien to me in a visceral way. I'm curious about this because I have several friends who don't share that feeling at all.

Im GC and I don't believe people are binary. I have elements of feminity and masculinity that whatever else that form who I am. I know I'm a woman, I have endometriosis so I'm painfully aware, as well as all the other reasons women are made aware of their sex.

It comes down to adding 'she/her' to everything would not feel right to me, as though it didn't reflect me. It would like I was falsely reinforcing my womanhood when I don't live my life that way or feel that way. Am I making sense? Do others feel this way?

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FrancescaContini · 23/05/2022 11:45

Helleofabore · 23/05/2022 10:59

Although, maybe SeldomHere may be even more seldom here with all those deletions ....

I’m still waiting for this person to tell me the difference between feminine and female as he/she was conflating the two.

Helleofabore · 23/05/2022 11:15

Beowulfa · 23/05/2022 11:04

I would love to give SeldomHere a leg-up onto a stallion downwind of a field of mares, and let him explain to the horses that sex is a social construct/label made up by humans/fluid innate feeling/special identity and that it really shouldn't matter what's coded in their cells.

I can only imagine how some posters will be very happy to buy the young rooster chicks for their egg farm. And then wonder why they have no eggs despite telling the growing roosters that being rooster is a social construct .

Beowulfa · 23/05/2022 11:04

Bolleauxxxx · 23/05/2022 00:21

Fuck me. I really hope certain posters don’t ever attempt livestock farming.

I would love to give SeldomHere a leg-up onto a stallion downwind of a field of mares, and let him explain to the horses that sex is a social construct/label made up by humans/fluid innate feeling/special identity and that it really shouldn't matter what's coded in their cells.

Helleofabore · 23/05/2022 10:59

Although, maybe SeldomHere may be even more seldom here with all those deletions ....

Helleofabore · 23/05/2022 10:55

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 20:22

But that's precisely part of a problem. Do you think insisting on completely excluding and alienating trans women is any way to work towards addressing shared issues?

So many GC people are even willing to burn down women's rights just to maintain the separation, like the ones actively working with the conservative right.

Your first paragraph seems to take an emotionally manipulative polarised view. 'Completely'? yes, in some cases. Are we to ignore the actual transitioned males who have told us they support that sometimes sex does matter and give YOUR extremist view more credibility..... and you believe that women should engage with that extremist view in any positive way?

Time to get out of what ever social media platform or support group that supports that view.

I wasn't clear either about what 'rights' feminists are willing to 'burn down' ?

Or are you latching onto the abortion rights issue in the USA?

What specifically are the rights feminists in the UK are willing to 'burn down'.

Please put some actual substance to your hyperbolic and emotive posts and let us go through each and every one that you feel we are 'burning down.'

Otherwise I think we, and all the readers, can see this as an emotionally manipulative tactic.

Helleofabore · 23/05/2022 10:43

For people who claim you can "always tell", you sure get it wrong many many many times.

Anyone find it tedious that posters will post pictures of young people who may have the benefit of puberty blockers as a 'you can't always tell' gotcha.

Firstly, not one person I know has ever said they can 'always tell' from a photograph. So your 'gotcha' is useless from the start.

Secondly, posting a photograph of a puberty blocked male that is a very small photograph and lacks any details is also not a 'gotcha'. You are really scraping the bottom of the barrel there.

And as pp said up page, posting a testosterone treated female as a gotcha can sometimes work as a photograph, but not always in real life. There will be tells, and in particular as people get to know that female, it will become more apparent.

Yes, female transitioners are harder to pick. But keep holding tightly to the belief that most male transitioners in real life will be undetected for long.

Helleofabore · 23/05/2022 10:25

Sex is a sum of components, and altering the components that make up one's sex, alters one's sex.

This old chestnut again.

Please do link us up to the studies, the original source papers that describe just how male cells convert to be female cells. The studies that confirm that cosmetic changes and artificial chemical changes change a person's sex class.

Please link us up. I am keen to see all the sources that are available.

Otherwise, you are spreading misinformation. It could even fall into the propaganda realm.

RufusthefIoraImissingreindeer · 23/05/2022 10:13

SeldomHere · 23/05/2022 07:41

For people who claim you can "always tell", you sure get it wrong many many many times.

I think some people can always tell

Some can usually tell

And some people will always struggle to tell, I know it's different but my dad was very confused with drag race...

Spent most of the hour with him going...well that person is a woman and everyone going, no none of them are women...but that one is! Nope!

I think he was confused by the boobs

CloudPop · 23/05/2022 10:09

Lavenderlast · 21/05/2022 23:25

In the unlikely event that someone mistakes me for a man, I literally do not care.

If someone mistakes me for a Stonewall supporter I’d be quite upset.

@Lavenderlast totally agree with you

Sunquench · 23/05/2022 09:08

A brilliant example of how men are intruding on womens sports. Absolute fraudsters.

SeldomHere · 23/05/2022 07:59

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achillesshield · 23/05/2022 07:57

Anyway, this is not really the point. I'm not objecting to others using preferred pronouns if they wish, although I don't think you can actually own a pronoun. It's just that I don't want to be coerced into playing this game.

SeldomHere · 23/05/2022 07:57

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achillesshield · 23/05/2022 07:56

SeldomHere · 23/05/2022 07:39

Or here, can you tell the sex of everyone on this picture?

Oh lovely, thanks. This is a brilliant example of fairness in women's sports being undermined and destroyed - this time by a female to male transitioner who is taking testosterone and beating other women. Funny how drugs can sometimes be 'clean' and can be used in sport, heh? She is competing in the right sex category, but, in this case, using unfair means.

Theeyeballsinthefuckingsky · 23/05/2022 07:50

Biology doesn’t give a toss about peoples feelings

Do pronouns feel alien to anyone else?
Do pronouns feel alien to anyone else?
Do pronouns feel alien to anyone else?
SeldomHere · 23/05/2022 07:41

For people who claim you can "always tell", you sure get it wrong many many many times.

SeldomHere · 23/05/2022 07:39

Or here, can you tell the sex of everyone on this picture?

Do pronouns feel alien to anyone else?
SeldomHere · 23/05/2022 07:38

FrancescaContini · 23/05/2022 07:30

“Hate-driven pathological delusion”?

It’s still a bit early for such hyperbole.

Nope, I can guarantee you that the vast, vast majority of children from aged 3/4 upwards can see who’s a man and who’s a woman. It’s hard-wired in us. That’s why small children stare so hard at adults in masks/dressing up clothes etc. They’re trying to work it out. It’s crucial for us as a species to tell the difference. I’m pleased that my teenage DDs can tell in a split-second that the person walking towards or behind them on the street, particularly if it’s dark, is a man or a woman. It has zilch to do with what the person is wearing or how, to borrow your phrase, “that person is presenting”.

Do you understand this?

And have you grasped the difference between feminine and female yet? Homework for today.

@FrancescaContini
If you're so confident, tell me, is any of these women trans?

Do pronouns feel alien to anyone else?
FrancescaContini · 23/05/2022 07:30

“Hate-driven pathological delusion”?

It’s still a bit early for such hyperbole.

Nope, I can guarantee you that the vast, vast majority of children from aged 3/4 upwards can see who’s a man and who’s a woman. It’s hard-wired in us. That’s why small children stare so hard at adults in masks/dressing up clothes etc. They’re trying to work it out. It’s crucial for us as a species to tell the difference. I’m pleased that my teenage DDs can tell in a split-second that the person walking towards or behind them on the street, particularly if it’s dark, is a man or a woman. It has zilch to do with what the person is wearing or how, to borrow your phrase, “that person is presenting”.

Do you understand this?

And have you grasped the difference between feminine and female yet? Homework for today.

SeldomHere · 23/05/2022 07:11

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Abhannmor · 23/05/2022 06:52

I've read that ' celebrities ' are removing pronouns from their bios as a result of Bill Maher's episode on the subject .

FrancescaContini · 23/05/2022 06:47

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 13:56

If feminine names and pronouns are a "stereotype", then using masculine names and pronouns to refer to trans women is imposing masculine stereotypes.

Period.

Please try to understand the difference between “feminine” and “female”. It’s crucial to the argument. You’re conflating the two.

Zerogravity · 23/05/2022 06:11

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 20:41

That's not true at all, but I guess it's no surprise you can't see shared struggles when you're fundamentally incapable of empathizing with anyone else.

I'm going to be kind because I am guessing you are very young but you don't seem to have grasped the basics. You can have empathy for a group without pretending to be them. I empathise with the struggles that black people face, for example. I don't go along to protests and pretend to be black! That would be crass and inappropriate, no? Feminism is for females. Stop expecting us to solve everyone else's problems. As I said before, I have nothing in common with tw that I don't have in common with other men. That doesn't mean I don't empathise with them. Trans activism would be so much more effective if it worked separately. Instead transactivists have either ignored or bullied women and we've had enough. No.

frostedfruit · 23/05/2022 01:15

If forced I'm going to insist that my pronouns are 'the cats mother'

IstayedForTheFeminism · 23/05/2022 01:06

I think they'd be too busy asking their animals for their preferred pronouns to do any farming.