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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Do pronouns feel alien to anyone else?

466 replies

janeseymour78 · 21/05/2022 18:42

By this, I mean I have friends who are 100% pro pronouns as a show of support and we've had our debates, and then there are others who say it is unhealthy to reinforce stereotypes, eg. By using them on work signatures

For me though, adding she/her pronouns to everything and even having being asked what they are verbally, she/her feels alien to me in a visceral way. I'm curious about this because I have several friends who don't share that feeling at all.

Im GC and I don't believe people are binary. I have elements of feminity and masculinity that whatever else that form who I am. I know I'm a woman, I have endometriosis so I'm painfully aware, as well as all the other reasons women are made aware of their sex.

It comes down to adding 'she/her' to everything would not feel right to me, as though it didn't reflect me. It would like I was falsely reinforcing my womanhood when I don't live my life that way or feel that way. Am I making sense? Do others feel this way?

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EdithStourton · 22/05/2022 16:17

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 12:41

Trans men can get pregnant also, and I don't get why you can't respect their wishes to not refer to them as women.

I note that you don't manage to respond to the issue of why it is important to write a definition of 'woman' into law.

And as PP said, I'll refer to a transman as a he to be polite, but anyone who gets pregnant is a biological female. That's how mammalian biology works.

FrancescaContini · 22/05/2022 16:15

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 16:08

As I said, it couldn't care less whether you think misogynistic treatment directed at trans women "doesn't count" because trans women were born with the "wrong" genitals to "qualify".

It doesn't change the fact trans women face the same abusive treatment.

Where did I say that abuse “doesn’t count”? I’m clarifying the correct use of the word “misogyny”.

Clarity of language is very important.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 16:13

Can a male rabbit be a doe? If not, why?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 16:13

Is calling a male rabbit a buck a "construct", or is it just the name for a male rabbit?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 16:11

And the word "marriage" was the name which had been given to a union

Yes, it's based in religion. Not biological reality, like having names for adult female people and adult male people.

penpalgal · 22/05/2022 16:10

Moreover, are you saying breasts are a "stereotype" ?
They are a superficial physical feature. A man who develops breasts, with whatever method, is not a woman. To suggest so is an insult to women everywhere, the oppression that women face and have always faced for all time in every country of the world. The sheer gall shown by anyone claiming that a man can be a woman by 'identifying' with a bunch of sexist stereotypes only reveals the male privilege and misogyny underlying any such claim.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 16:10

Of course it counts as abuse. It's just something different to misogyny.

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 16:09

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 16:07

The words man and woman are the names which have been given to adult human beings of each of the two sexes. Male- man. Female-woman.

And the word "marriage" was the name which had been given to a union between a man and a woman for the purpose of making babies.

Same argument, same bigotry, just a different target.

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 16:08

FrancescaContini · 22/05/2022 16:04

I couldn’t disagree more.

TW can’t suffer from misogyny because by definition, misogyny is directed at females. TW are not female - because if they were, they wouldn’t be TW.

As I said, it couldn't care less whether you think misogynistic treatment directed at trans women "doesn't count" because trans women were born with the "wrong" genitals to "qualify".

It doesn't change the fact trans women face the same abusive treatment.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 16:07

The words man and woman are the names which have been given to adult human beings of each of the two sexes. Male- man. Female-woman.

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 16:05

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 16:00

You are imposing it, and you are no different than a homophobe imposing a homophobic definition of marriage based on the "biology reality of reproduction".

Marriage is a religious construct, not biological reality. So no.

The words "man" and "woman" are a social construct, not biological reality.

FrancescaContini · 22/05/2022 16:04

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 15:34

Also, trans women do share many of the same issues and needs as cis women.

Employment and pay discrimination, sexual harassment and, even though you'll deny it, misogynistic abuse.

I couldn’t disagree more.

TW can’t suffer from misogyny because by definition, misogyny is directed at females. TW are not female - because if they were, they wouldn’t be TW.

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 16:04

penpalgal · 22/05/2022 15:58

The social categories of "man" and "woman" are a social construct (regardless of what they were "based" on) and as such they can be changed.
No, gender sterotypes are a social construct. These indeed, can be changed, but the problem is that gender ideologues have internalised these sexist ideas to equate 'man' and 'woman' with sexist stereotypes. You can't see that a woman can behave/dress/exist in any manner and still be woman, you see only feminine stereotypes and equate that with 'woman'. That's why when a man has breast implants, wears dresses etc you claim he is literally a woman now, when it's actually only a presentation of feminine stereotypes that he's displaying, that have nothing to do with actually being a woman.

> You can't see that a woman can behave/dress/exist in any manner and still be woman

I do, actually. I don't see how that conflicts with trans women being women.

Not all trans women wear dresses. Trans women's identity is not in any way contingent on wearing dresses, or on any stereotypes.

It's all a matter of identity, nothing else.

> That's why when a man has breast implants

Most trans women have no "breast implants", but rather grow breasts in response to hormones, just like the beasts in non-trans women.

Moreover, are you saying breasts are a "stereotype" ?

penpalgal · 22/05/2022 16:04

Well too bad, the world at large already accepts trans people's identities. Maybe it's you who needs to adjust.You're using sexism here, to try to play into my female socialisation to get me to conform and be a 'nice girl' - if everyone else is OK with this, then I should be too. You're just proving my point that your ideas of 'man' and 'woman' equate with sexist stereotypes, as do all the others of your ilk who post on here. You underestimate women and their capacities for logical thought, I'm afraid, because you are a sexist.

FrancescaContini · 22/05/2022 16:02

It makes zero sense to me. If a work colleague starts using them, they instantly go down in my estimation, and I question their intelligence. It’s pointless virtue signalling.

Julia
She/her

You could also add:

Two eyes
One nose
One belly button
etc etc

and other bits of blindingly obvious information for all it adds to that person’s ability to do their job.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 16:00

You are imposing it, and you are no different than a homophobe imposing a homophobic definition of marriage based on the "biology reality of reproduction".

Marriage is a religious construct, not biological reality. So no.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 15:59

the world at large already accepts trans people's identities

Selectively. If you mean fully transitioned transsexual males/females then yes because many people think it's actually possible to have a "sex change" operation. If you mean males in female sport, no they don't.

penpalgal · 22/05/2022 15:58

The social categories of "man" and "woman" are a social construct (regardless of what they were "based" on) and as such they can be changed.
No, gender sterotypes are a social construct. These indeed, can be changed, but the problem is that gender ideologues have internalised these sexist ideas to equate 'man' and 'woman' with sexist stereotypes. You can't see that a woman can behave/dress/exist in any manner and still be woman, you see only feminine stereotypes and equate that with 'woman'. That's why when a man has breast implants, wears dresses etc you claim he is literally a woman now, when it's actually only a presentation of feminine stereotypes that he's displaying, that have nothing to do with actually being a woman.

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 15:58

*biological reality of reproduction

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 15:57

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 15:54

As opposed to your need to impose your linguistic framework

It's not one I came up with on my own, is it? Who is imposing what, exactly?

You are imposing it, and you are no different than a homophobe imposing a homophobic definition of marriage based on the "biology reality of reproduction".

Waitwhat23 · 22/05/2022 15:56

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 15:34

Also, trans women do share many of the same issues and needs as cis women.

Employment and pay discrimination, sexual harassment and, even though you'll deny it, misogynistic abuse.

I've always found this claim strange. The gender pay gap is due to various reasons - the ones I see most often cited are that: women take time out of the workplace for childbirth/maternity leave and are then more likely to go part time for childcare reasons, women are disproportionately represented in the caring professions which tend to be less well paid, and women are less likely to aggressively push for pay rises/promotions than men..

How does a transwoman experience any of these things?

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 15:56

penpalgal · 22/05/2022 15:54

A person's sex is a rigid binary. It's unfortunate some people can't deal with that reality, but they shouldn't expect the whole world to not only deny reality but to re-label themselves and refer to themselves in a way which reinforces sexism in order to shelter those too fragile to do so.

Well too bad, the world at large already accepts trans people's identities. Maybe it's you who needs to adjust.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 15:54

As opposed to your need to impose your linguistic framework

It's not one I came up with on my own, is it? Who is imposing what, exactly?

penpalgal · 22/05/2022 15:54

A person's sex is a rigid binary. It's unfortunate some people can't deal with that reality, but they shouldn't expect the whole world to not only deny reality but to re-label themselves and refer to themselves in a way which reinforces sexism in order to shelter those too fragile to do so.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/05/2022 15:53

The social categories of "man" and "woman" are a social construct (regardless of what they were "based" on)

Without that base in sexed material reality, sex based stereotypes is all that ties them to the world in any way. Because that is what gender identity ideology is founded on.

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