Identifying into oppression - discussion, challenging etc

No they're not. This business of "I'm more oppressed than you are" is getting quite tiresome aswell.

Labels aren't inclusive.

Ya, I don't think the OP is very inclusive either.

Is she? She doesn’t behave as most of my female friends. Is it MORE gender conforming to have long hair and sex with a man? Sounds unlikely and like you agree with gender stereotyping more than you are aware.

@DyingForACuppa thanks for the clarification, in fairness I think my comment could be read a bit....snidey (?), not my intention . But I do feel that 'cis' is used disparagingly, like 'vanilla' or 'whitebread'. Perhaps also because it irritates GC people?

Believers in critical race theory and intersectionality buy into a hierarchy of oppression. Being white is regarded as very privileged no matter what your life circumstances may be. Some people cannot bear to regard themselves as the oppressor and fear others will despise them for their 'cishet normativity'. Thus they grasp for an identity that will signal their belonging to the oppressed group, rather than the oppressor group.

Being NB is the laziest of the trans identities because all you need do is choose new pronouns and then wait to get offended when someone gets them wrong. Also 'queer', no one knows what it means anymore so anyone can adopt it. As that funny lady on Twitter the other day said, with the alphabet people everyone after the B is straight.

I didn't say they regarded cis as an insult, just that they rejected it ('violently' was a bit of rhetorical flourish on my part, I should have said 'strongly' perhaps).

I also don't see that stating yourself as non-binary 'projects' cis-ness on others. Presumably if you believe in gender ideology you believe that everyone just decides which trans/cis/non-binary label fits. (Which is why they are so obsessed with everyone stating their identity/declaring pronouns etc because otherwise there is literally no way to know).

I don’t see how being married in a mixed sex relationship means you are automatically any more gender conforming than any other woman? To me women are women whatever their marital status and some bisexual people marry partners of the opposite sex. They aren’t less bisexual or more womanly. Probably more people assume they are heterosexual because statistically it’s more likely that a married woman is……I don’t really get the issue. Are you saying you can only “do” all the initials if you perform it in a particular way or that you think she’s lying about her sexual preferences and niche ideas about gender?

I'm no believer in GI so I don't see the world through that lens. That said, I don't see why a believer would "violently reject the 'cis' label". It's almost as if they're seeing 'cis' as an insult. If they do, it speaks volumes about their view of people onto whom they project that label.

If you are bisexual in a monogamous m/f partnership you either don't let people know you are bisexual and get grief for being privileged enough to fly under the radar, or you do tell people you are bisexual and get accused of wanting in on special status. You can't win.

As for the 'apparently' heterosexual women of the OPs post, I suspect that they violently reject the 'cis' label (a completely reasonable position), but are not trans - so non-binary is the only label within gender ideology that they can use. If I believed in gender ideology I would have to do the same.

As such I have a lot more sympathy for them than I do heterosexual males declaring themselves lesbians without changing a thing about themselves.

You're being a bit unfair to bisexual people in opposite-sex relationships.

Assuming an equal attraction to, and preference for, women and men, and no other complicating factors, a bisexual person is far more likely to end up in an opposite-sex relationship than a same-sex one.

If I'm a bisexual woman, the vast majority of the single men I meet will be straight or bisexual and therefore a potential relationship partner. Only a small minority of the single women I meet will be lesbian or bisexual and therefore a potential partner (even ignoring the fact that some lesbians prefer not to have relationships with bisexual women). In other words, for a bisexual woman who's equally attracted to men and women the dating pool is overwhelmingly male.

The fact that bisexuals usually end up with an opposite-sex partner isn't necessarily anything to do with choosing an easier life of heteronormativity — it's basically a numbers game.

But being in an opposite-sex relationship doesn't mean that person is any less bisexual, and they may still need some services and communities oriented towards gay, lesbian, or bisexual people. To question whether bisexuals in heterosexual marriages are "morally" part of the LGB community or whether it's possible for them to experience oppression on the basis of their sexuality is playing right into the bisexual erasure tropes that don't seem to ever go away. Certainly they have it easier in a lot of respects than people in same-sex relationships, but your sexuality doesn't go away.

Is she aware of her privilege?

personally I’d leave her to it, accept her for who she is but quietly assume it was borne out of a need to be fashionable or special

Apparently you do. At least you cared enough to comment.

I agree with the OP. People pretending to be victims when they're not are at the very least annoying - and at worst downright despicable. Especially when they're stealing resources that are supposed to go to real victims.

on earth CARES what she does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m a lesbian, no it’s not all about that, but it’s part of it as it’s a shared experience almost all of us have had, especially people growing up prior to the 2000’s.

I’m not really an “active member” of the community any more, in that I don’t have any gay friends and I don’t go to gay events. I used to, but weirdly I don’t think I have anything in common with most other lesbians except we both like women. All my friends are straight, I’ve tried to become friends with other lesbians over the years, but we don’t seem to have any common interests. I would say my life is the same as any heterosexual woman I just happen to be with a woman rather than a man.

I think for some people they just want to feel a part of a community and want something to play victim about that means they’re “not like other people”. So they adopt these vague identities like queer or non-binary as they can’t really be questioned and it allows them to “join the community” and feel oppressed. It’s bizarre to me as it’s the total opposite of what I wanted growing up, but these are different times.

Claiming a so called non-binary identity is how otherwise privileged folk launder that privilege.

It is a power play, pure and simple, as is most genderism.

I'm not part of the lgbtq+ community but is it all about a shared experience of oppression?

I'm not sure they would particularly support the point, that there is a need for such things or that creating a seperate set of events is really a positive approach.

But they are all older and tend to belong to the school of thougt that thinks that sexual preferences aren't an identity but just a small fact.

Which is maybe the point, if these things become identities more than material facts they will tend to be difficult to contain.

I know 2 people in a professional context . Both heterosexual women married to men. They do not appear to be gender non- conforming in any way. Both have recently said they are non-binary and thus claim a trans identity, they are quick to take offence if anyone forgets their new pronouns.
I find it all a bit tedious to be honest, who cares? They appear to be exactly the same women they were before.

yanbu

I’m a lesbian, I get what you mean, I am sick of people using the very vague “queer” label when they are gender conforming and have only ever had public heterosexual relationships to somehow claim they are discriminated against, are LGBT, and then start pontificating about issues which as far as I can see don’t actually affect them, they also take places up which should be for people who actually are LGBT.

Jamila Jamil springs to mind, who conveniently declared herself “queer” when she faced backlash about her suitability as a judge in Legendary.

Ya, the NERVE of you Karen